Chapter 16 - Part 1

                                    

                                          
Jessica wanted to stay in Myles' arms, but after his behavior she couldn't pretend she hadn't been blindsided. She broke away and he let her go.
"I'm tired." She stood with her arms crossed. 
"I don't want to leave things like this," he argued, running a hand through his hair, the different shades of blonde catching the light.
"Well, I'm not interested in what you want." She was hard and determined not to allow him to think he could push and pull her at will. He hadn't done anything to make her feel secure in what had happened between them; she had spent the entire day out of sorts and trying to navigate this new thing with him.
The memory of him talking easily to Rebecca's pretty friend made it easier to hold her will against his. When she had needed some sort of reassurance, he had given none, and she didn't know why he was now expecting it from her.
"When I needed you to take my hand and let me know that what we shared last night had meant something to you, you didn't. Instead, you pulled the rug from under my feet and sent me flying into an anxious state of second guessing every choice I made when it comes to you." She shook her head. "Last night meant something, and you acted like it was a fun roll in your bed and nothing else."
She swallowed the rising emotion. The alcohol wasn't helping—it only intensified her emotions of hurt and rejection.
He rubbed his hands over his face and let out a sigh. "It did mean something."
She scoffed at him. "Then why did you treat me like some unwanted bed guest this morning?"
He pressed his lips together. "I have issues."
She rolled her eyes. "We all have issues. You think leaving Charlie was easy for me? He was my safety net. He cared about me and would put my feelings above his own at any given time. It took everything I had to do the right thing; hurting him wasn't easy. But you know what? The right choice isn't always the easiest."
He remained silent.
"I can at least take responsibility for my actions. I don't pretend or make excuses. Last night, I wanted you. When I woke up this morning, I had no regrets until you told me it hadn't been anything other than sex." She was getting worked up, so she took a deep breath and released it. "Now I just want to forget it happened and get some sleep. I've had enough drama for today."
"Promise me we'll talk tomorrow." His eyes searched hers, possibly looking for a chink in her armor, but he was going to get a surprise. There wasn't one.
"I'm not promising anything." She glared at him. After the way he had treated her, he was lucky she was talking to him at all. "Close the door on your way out."
He rubbed the back of his neck before retreating and closing the door behind him quietly. She sat down on the bed. She couldn't believe she had spoken to him like that and had refused to back down, whereas before she would have.
If she thought back to her previous relationships, she had always been the one to give while her partners had always seemed to take. But she was different now; she wasn't quite sure when things had changed, but they had. There were things she would accept and there were things she wouldn't. 
His behavior today had been unacceptable. If he had truly regretted their night together, he should have sat her down and told her straight. 
She rubbed her hands on her legs, feeling anxious and unsettled. Her first instinct was to pack a bag and go to her parents' house, but she was too drunk to drive, so that put an end to that idea. Besides, she had just given Myles a speech about facing things instead of running from them—if she left in the middle of the night without a word, she would be no better than him.