Chapter Twenty-Six

                                    

                                          

                            

                                
                            
                              
                                  
                              
                              
                                
                                  
                                  
                                
                              
                             
                            
                            
                          
                          
                          
When we finished eating, he cleaned while he let me get ready for bed. I went ahead and took a shower, just washing my body, so I didn't have to do it in the morning. As I did my routine for bed, Jaylen stepped inside the washroom, kissing me on my temple, before he took off his clothes and hopped into the shower. 
                          
Thinking back to my old self, the one who was just starting high school, she had no clue that her life would lead up to this. She was too busy trying to please her parents. Too busy achieving the highest grade possible. 
                          
Never had time to participate in the textbook 'high school experience'. Extra points for Mona, who repeatedly tried to bring me out to parties. She was the one who was always forcing me out of my bubble but never succeeded. Until now. 
                          
The morning of graduation, as Mona and I drank peach schnapps from a flask (courtesy of her father), we came to an agreement. It was time for me to start living life rather than just surviving. 
                          
"Do you really want to grow old without stories of bad experiences to tell your children?" Mona asked, passing me the flask. We were hiding out in one of the stalls in the girl's washroom on the third floor. 
                          
"Can't it all be good stories? Good stories are also fun to tell," I argued, taking a swig of the schnapps, wincing at the burn down my throat (I thought schnapps was a real drink. I was so wrong). 
                          
"Good stories come from bad experiences. From mistakes. Take away all of those elements, you're telling a statement. A fact. And those are boring. Do you want to be a boring mother?" 
                          
That was an eye-opener for me. If and when I did have children, I could only tell them what their Auntie Mona did in her life. Nothing that would reflect on my experience in life. And she was correct. It was boring. 
                          
Maybe I did move a little fast into this relationship. No net to fall back on in case the rope line decided to snap as I walked on it. But wasn't that the point of life? 
                          
Take that chance on the rope snapping. Stumble and fall down to your knees. Get your hopes up from time to time. Break your hearts a few times from a real or imaginary person (no judgment from me). 
                          
These circumstances would allow you to learn to get back up. Put a band-aid on the scrapes and cuts. Mend your own broken heart by finding things that made you happy. Learn from the times you got your hopes up; know what not to expect next time. 
                          
Because all of those sums up to the person you were. The person you were trying to be. The person you want to be remembered in this world. All were determined by the way you lived your life. 
                          
I was ready to close that chapter of myself. The one my parents groomed me to be. The woman who was going to live life with a plan created by her parents. I realized that it was my life. I had the ability to take full control. I just needed the courage to. 
                          
Perhaps Jaylen inspired me. He was going against his father's wishes, being with me. He encouraged me to conclude that chapter of myself. That version of me was constantly tired, grumpy and restless. It was time for her to rest and relax. 
                          
It was time to start the next chapter of my life. Next chapter of who I was. Because the only focus in my mind was my happiness. I was rewriting my own destiny, completely different from the ones my parents wrote for me. 
                          
Growing up in a heavily Asian influenced household, I was bound to receive unspeakable consequence from my parents. They would never hit me but their words would cut deeper than any knives would. 
                          
The scars would heal over time, however, their words would constantly echo inside my head. No escape from the verbal abuse they were going to lay on me. No way to quiet down the taunts and threats. I had to learn to live with them. 
                          
The only defence I had to create was being strong-minded. Keeping in mind, this type of mentality cannot be acquired overnight. It may take weeks, months or even years. Throughout it all, I had to endure the pain and the suffering. But the end result was worth it. It was something to look forward to. 
                          
By the time Jaylen finished getting ready for bed, I was already in his bed, scrolling through my social media apps on my phone. I barely posted on it because I never saw the purpose of it. 
                          
"You know, we never added each other on any social media," I mentioned to Jaylen as he got under the covers. He laid beside me, his arm on my waist and his head on my chest. 
                          
"I don't post anything exciting on mine. Just basketball stuff," He replied, staring at my phone screen. I was scrolling through Instagram. My timeline was filled with pictures of girls from my high school and a few celebrities. 
                          
"So, if I search up Jaylen Moretti on Instagram, I'll only see basketball stuff?" I asked. I pressed the search button and began typing his name. 
                          
"Okay, maybe not just basketball. There might be some posts from my younger days that I haven't gotten around to deleting yet." 
                          
His profile popped first after I searched his name and I immediately clicked on it. His most recent posts were, in fact, basketball posts. Some highlights from games. Some were ads for a few companies. Then, it became more interesting. 
                          
I clicked on the picture of him and his best friends that was dated two years ago. His caption read 'spring breaaaak' which caused me to let out a laugh. While he groaned, turning his head to face my chest. 
                          
"This was in Florida, I'm assuming." 
                          
He nodded before turning head to look at the screen again, "That was the first and last time I went to Florida for spring break. Coach Jackson let us have a break and Kai made us go to fulfill the full university experience." 
                          
"Seems like a Kai thing to do." 
                          
"I don't even remember that picture being taken. I barely remember anything from that trip," He admitted, shamefully. He brought his hand up to my phone and clicked back to view his profile. 
                          
"Why did you do that? I wasn't done looking at it," I teased. It was true. He and his best friends were shirtless, only wearing swimming trunks with a bottle of beer in their hands. I was zeroing in on his abs and was starting to appreciate it. 
                          
"Well, I was done. I need to delete those things off my page," His finger scrolled through his page when a picture caught my attention. 
                          
I swatted his finger away and clicked on the picture of him and Gabriella, "You better not be thinking the wrong things about that picture. She forced me to post it." 
                          
I hummed as a response as I inspected the picture further. They were wearing their cap and gown from their high school. His caption for the photo was just emojis that had no correlation to the picture. 
                          
"You guys look good together," It was a fact. If they actually became a couple, they would be a hot one. They were equally as good-looking. How annoying. 
                          
"Shut up. We're cuter," He took my phone out of my hands, turning off and placing it on the bed side-table. 
                          
I giggled at his childish behaviour. This grown man was bothered by the fact I was complimenting him and his childhood friend. 
                          
He placed himself in between legs, grabbing them and tugging me down so my head was on his pillow. He proceeded to lay on top of me, his whole weight practically on me. As he nuzzled his head in the crook of my neck, I seemed to forget about his weight crushing me. 
                          
If this giant baby ends up falling asleep on me, I'm going to kill him, I thought to myself. Sneakily, I grabbed my phone from the nightstand. His eyes were closed, looking relaxed, not one bit bothered with his position.