Chapter Twenty-Two: Terrified

                                    

                                          
As soon as we got back to the house, the boys decided to wait for Julie inside, and I was back to pursuing books trying to find anything that would help us figure out what that stamp would do to them. It wasn't long until the boys came running back into the garage. I didn't even bother to look up at them.
                          
"Tonight was crazy, right?" Luke asked as Reggie flopped onto the couch beside me. I nodded, not saying anything else. "Come on Delilah, we rocked it. We can celebrate a little."
                          
"Yeah, it was really fun," I said, finally looking up at him, "So fun, it almost made me forget that you guys might disappear from existence at any moment."
                          
"Is that what the stamp does?!" Reggie exclaimed.
                          
"No, I don't know what it does, because these books are useless!" I threw the book on the ground, burying my face in my hands and letting out a groan of frustration.
                          
"Hey...we'll figure this out." Reggie said quietly, putting a hand on my back. "If anyone can, its you." I shook my head, looking up at Alex.
                          
"We need to talk to your ghost friend," I said, "He's probably the only one who can tell us what it means or how to stop it."
                          
"Well, that's gonna be a lot easier said than done. I've only seen him the one time, and the minute he saw us he ran away, so..."  I nodded.
                          
"Can we just...not think about this? At least for tonight?" Luke asked. "I mean, I don't know about you guys, but I'm still on a high from that performance, and I kind of want to live in it a little longer." I nodded.
                          
"Yeah...you do that. I'll just be in the loft." I stood up.
                          
"No, come on, Delilah. Hang with us-"
                          
"I can't." I interrupted. "You might be able to put this whole stamp thing out of your mind, but I can't, because at the end of the day, if we don't figure this out, you're gonna be gone and I'm gonna be alone again, so...I'm sorry." His smile fell. "But you guys have fun. Don't worry about it, I'll figure this out on my own." I poofed into the loft, into my normal beanbag chair and laid my head back, putting my hands over my face.
                          
I heard another poof and moved my hands to see Reggie standing there, leaning against the railing looking down at me. I sighed, sitting up and pushing my hair out of my face.
                          
"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to bring down the vibe or whatever." He shook his head, reaching his hands out to me. I took them, letting him pull me out of the bean bag chair before sitting down in it himself and pulling me into his lap. We both laid back, me with my legs stretched sideways over his, resting the side of my head on his shoulder. He wrapped both of his arms around me, pressing his lips softly to my forehead.
                          
"Its ok. I know your stressed out about this whole thing." I reached up, gently playing with his necklace.
                          
"I just don't want to lose you," I whispered, "I mean, I don't want to lose any of you, but us...we've just barely started whatever this is and I'm not ready to lose it yet." 
                          
"Me neither," He said quietly, "But I meant what I said. If anyone can figure this thing out, its you."
                          
"I hope you're right about that."
                          
"I am. I'm not right about much but...I'm right about this." I sighed, leaning my head up and gently pressing my lips against his jaw. He responded by turning his head and capturing my lips instead. We'd had a few brief, gentle kisses since the first one, but nothing like the one we shared now. It was s low and intense, and it had me feeling like my heart was going to beat out of my chest, which is weird because my heart isn't beating because I'm dead. But the feeling was still there, and I realized that being with Reggie made me feel alive.
                          
I haven't felt alive in a really long time.
                          
He slowly slid out from underneath me, moving so that he was laying on his side, hovering over me. One of my hands slipped up to grab his shoulder while I tangled my other one into the hair at the back of his head, pulling him closer to me. His arm slipped under mine so that he could put his hand on the side of my face while his opposite hand rested on my hip. He trailed his lips away from my mouth, leaving kisses down the length of my jaw. It was at this moment that I sat up, putting a hand over my chest in an attempt to calm myself down. Reggie sat up to, his eyebrows drawing together in concern.
                          
"Are you ok?" He asked, putting a hand on my back. I nodded.
                          
"Yeah, yeah, its just um..." I trailed off, turning my head to look at him. He reached up, gently pushing a few loose strands of hair out of my face.
                          
"What?"  I looked down at my hands in my lap, swallowing nervously.
                          
"I've never felt like this before." I said quietly, glancing up at him. "Even when I was alive, with all my douche bag ex boyfriends, it was never like this."
                          
"Is that a bad thing?" He asked fearfully.
                          
"No! No, no, no, I meant..." I chuckled nervously, putting a hand on his face and leaning my forehead against his. "No, its not a bad thing. Its a really good thing, its just...its scary...unfamiliar. Do you know what I mean?" He nodded.
                          
"I used to be terrified of how I felt about you." He said quietly. I raised my eyebrows, pulling back from him.
                          
"Really?" He nodded.
                          
"Yeah...because even with you not feeling the same way, and dating all of those other guys, the feelings were so intense, and...I didn't even know how it had started, it was just one day I was looking at you and I realized that I was so majorly in love with you, and by then there was nothing I could do to stop it. And it is terrifying to feel something so strongly for another person, because when you do, you know that if it were to go wrong..."
                          
"It would destroy you." I whispered, tears welling up in my eyes. "Reggie, if something happens to you-"
                          
"It won't." He said, grabbing my face in both of his hands. "We'll do whatever it takes to fix this, ok? I won't let that happen to you...I can't." I sighed, squeezing my eyes closed.
                          
"I love you." I said, my voice barely audible.
                          
"I love you too."