Chapter 16

                                    

                                          

R   Y   A   N
        SATURDAY NIGHT and while my friends were all dressed up at the party Jackson told us about yesterday, I was at home in a comfy pair of shorts and a jumper that was two sizes too big, hanging off my shoulder; organising my room. Such an exciting life I lead, but in all honesty I didn't want to be at a loud party when all I just wanted was a quiet night in. 
   I had been back a week already and my room in the guesthouse was fully finished. All the pictures I had with me in New York of all the people I loved, plus the ones I had taken with Amy before we left were now out of their protective wrapping and lovingly displayed all over my room. In my bedroom, in the living room, everywhere. There wasn't a spot you could look at without seeing a face I cared about. Placing the last picture on my bedside table of myself, Nico and Nate at my graduation dinner, my phone buzzes in my pocket, telling me I have a message.
Matty:
You sure you can't come? 
I can always come get u later? X
Me:
Yh, I'm sure
You guys are gonna have fun, trust me
Matty:
No one is gonna hurt you here Ry
It's all Jacksons friends
Me:
I know
But I'm still not gonna come x
Matty:
I know your scared of who you might see, but I promise you Ryan
We would never let anyone hurt you while your with us xx
Me
Trust me Matt 
I know!
But it has been a busy week, I just want a quiet night in is all
See ya tomorrow for a hangover breakfast?
Matty:
Breakfast? Your joking right? 
Lunch, I'll be awake for lunch 😘
Me:
Lunch, of course
How stupid of me 🤣 
Enjoy your night 💋💙
Matty:
Oh & btw.....
I haven't forgotten that you still need to tell sex god No3 your secret!
Plus you gotta spill them deets on sex god No2 kiss! 
You have no idea how lime green jelly I am babe!
😂🤪❤️
Placing my phone back on the side, next to my bed I huff out in annoyance. 'Tell Nathan your secret!'. Last night I was mortified that Matthew had wrote down that question, knowing full well that I would have to answer and reveal my secret. Only Matthew would be so cruel for his own entertainment, but I knew it was just Matt trying to push my confidence. 
   If I wasn't so shy I could of told them, all of them and it not be such a big deal, only all I wanted to do was crawl under a rock to just disappear. I didn't want them knowing about my fantasies about Nico and Nate. I wanted that to be private. Not to mention I didn't want to tell Matthew and Sophie that my last few sex dreams were starring both of them, I didn't want both of them to ask why I suddenly was starting to picture them both. 
Together. 
At the same time. 
That was a secret I was not allowed to spill. With the music playing in the background, I try and forget all about last night, hoping that I could let it go until Matthew goes back to New York where I hope he forgets. It will be the last secret I ever tell him, that's for sure.
But I know he will never let me keep my first kiss a secret from him. 
When Nico revealed he was my first kiss to the room I was shocked to say the least, but not as shocked as Nate was. He clearly looked upset that Nico and I had shared a intimate moment. I wasn't sure why, however, you could tell how annoyed it made him. As for Sophie, she looked just as surprised as I did, maybe even a little proud, but the best reaction was Matthew. I have never seen him look so jealous, so annoyed, so pissed off and yet, so proud all at the same time. 
   A smile spreads across my face thinking about how I had something that Matthew wanted so badly but couldn't. Not that I would brag and rub it in his face or anything, but it still made my inner goddess dance. I kissed a sex god, his favourite sex god and I remember just like it was yesterday.