2

                                    

                                          
Jared's POV:
                          
Good thing the period we skipped was the last period of the day, or Evan would have to go back to class looking like this. 
                          
I honestly feel super bad, I never meant to make him cry. He told me it wasn't my fault. He said that it just...happened... I know that things can just suddenly spill out like that. 
                          
But it just seemed so sudden that I can't imagine it's not my fault. Maybe it was just the last push towards the edge of breaking. The last push that made him fall, and eventually shatter into small pieces. 
                          
Not to be a total narcissist, but maybe this is all my fault. Maybe I'm the cause of his anxiety. Maybe I'm the cause of his emotional stability being so out of wack that he can just break at any moment. 
                          
I asked him if he was ok a few minutes ago, even though I knew the answer. Why? No idea. 
                          
It's because you want to see him suffer. You wanted to see him break. You want him to die. 
                          
No. That's..no. Not at all. I want him to be happy. I need him to be happy. 
                          
He already hates you. Why do you even try? It's pointless. You're pointless. You're pathetic. You should just kill yourself. 
                          
No. Nononononono. I can't die. Not yet. He needs me for the emails. Maybe in a few weeks when this blows over, then you can do it...
                          
You should do it tonight.
                          
No. 
                          
Yes. 
                          
NO
                          
YES YOU LITTLE BITCH. 
                          
"NO!" Shit. I said it out loud. Oh god fucking dammit. "Jared? A-are you ok...?" Evan asked cautiously. "Mhm.. Sorry..." This was at least the second time I've apologized to him today. Well let's say goodbye to our reputation. 
                          
"O-ok..." He looked scared of me. Terrified actually. Yet he still sat in my arms, although trembling slightly. "I'm-I'm sorry-" I stuttered out. God dammit. Why am I stuttering so much right now?! Out of all the times this could happen. 
                          
He hates your stutter. I just know it.
                          
Nope. Not again. Please not this again. 
                          
He hates you. I hate you. 
                          
Oh no, I know. I don't need to hear it again. 
                          
"Hey Jer? Should uh- We like, leave the school or something? I don't know. It's just a thought." He interrupted my thoughts with that. 
                          
I looked around, realizing the pile of kids the were dashing out of the school and running to their cars. A few of the kids were running towards the bus, quickly filling it up and trying to cram more kids in there. 
                          
I groaned loudly as I got up, accidentally leaving Evan on the ground. "Ah shit. Sorry, Hansen." I muttered quietly before reaching out a hand for Evan to grab, which he gladly accepted and drug himself off the ground. 
                          
Now I will admit, we were still holding hands. Neither of us let go yet. "That's gay." I looked at him and gave him my trademark smirk. He blushed and pulled his hand away quickly, crossing his arms in front of his chest. 
                          
I laughed at this. My god...he's adorable. 
                          
Ugh. You are absolutely disgusting. 
                          
Shut up. 
                          
What ever. Enjoy hanging out with your boyfriend. 
                          
HE'S NOT MY-
                          
And just as quick as it appeared, it left. The voice was gone. For now... At least I can enjoy some time with Evan.