17

                                    

                                          


                          
Isaacs POV

                          


                          
I can't stay away from her. I can't leave her alone on campus, knowing what those fuckers did, and knowing they're still out there. 
                          
I should've been there. I shouldn't have let it happen. I know I would've been able to. Those cunts listen to every word I tell them. 
                          
Fuck.
                          
I keep thinking about what Leah told me about her being in the hospital. Ivy has a full-blown breakdown after what they did. She couldn't get them arrested or expelled, and she had a breakdown because of it. She was in the hospital. The cops had to step in. 
                          
I don't know when this was, but I want to know more. I want to know what she was thinking and how the fuck she manages to face those cunts every day. How the fuck does she survive?
                          
I never should've gotten caught. I'm a fucking idiot. If I hadn't gotten arrested, none of this shit would've happened. Ivy would be fine. She'd still be living her life the way she used to, partying and shopping and whatever the fuck else she does. She wouldn't be this... this sad and quiet. 
                          
She's like the shy nerdy girl in high school, you know? But she used to be the popular cheerleader. 
                          
I don't know why the fuck I'm thinking about fucking high school right now, but it's the best way to explain it. She just... changed. She turned into the opposite of who she was, and it makes sense. 
                          
Everything makes sense now. She's traumatised. That's why she's so quiet. That's why she's so nervous, and that's why she always looks like she's on the verge of a breakdown. It's why she blasts her music so loud and why she can't sleep at night. No wonder she needs Valium. If that's what my doctor gave me for PTSD, it's only logical she'd get it too. 
                          
She was fidgeting all throughout the lecture. She was bobbing her foot and scratching at her leg. She was playing with her bracelets so much, she dropped one on the floor and got the attention of the whole class. I'm surprised she even managed to sit through the hour. I seriously thought she was going to run out of there before the class even started. She did not want to be there. Fuck, she was probably more desperate to leave than I was. 
                          
That girl is fucking dedicated. I don't care enough to sit through a single lecture, let alone one with a rapist in the room 
                          
Fuck that. 
                          
I don't even know how she gets out of bed in the morning. I know I wouldn't be able to.
                          
I wonder what she's thinking about. I want to know how she's coping and how she feels. I have so many questions. Why did the police not arrest them? Did she tell her parents? She must not have. They would've pulled her out of this town ASAP. That's what any parent would do. 
                          
Well, not mine. But my mother wasn't a fucking billionaire. She didn't have any help. She didn't know what she was doing. She just wanted to get away and threw me under the bus to do it.
                          
How far away is Ivy from another breakdown? Leah mentioned there was blood last time. What did she do? Did she hurt herself? Or did someone hurt her? I need the full story. 
                          
Fuck. I can't think about this right now. But I can't think about anything else. All I see is Ivory. 
                          
She's walking a few feet ahead of me, marching away from the lecture hall. I don't want to follow her but that's pretty much exactly what I'm doing. She knows it, too. But I can't fight it. Everything in me is telling me to watch out for her, and that's exactly what I'm doing. I don't want her to be uncomfortable and think I'm stalking her, but I also don't want her to run into any frat boys. And this campus is filled with them.