7.25

                                    

                                          
Tang Qingshan's eyes were opened, a heavy light within them. There was an air of darkness coming from him, a pain that still lingered. As he sat down in the tent, he looked over a map, his other hand gently tapping the table, creating a continuous sound.
                          
He was very quiet. Tang Qingshan's whole focus was on the map, so much so it looked as if he was truly attentive. But no one knew better than him that while he looked at the map, his heart was somewhere far away, other thoughts running through his mind. In fact, his hand even gripped onto the map harder.
                          
Within his heart, the chaos and turmoil from before had never faded. Even as the rebellion came, while Tang Qingshan tried his best, his focus was also somewhere far at the same time.
                          
Why? Obviously, Xu Weiyuan had returned already, yet why did he continue to think about Lu Fengmian? It felt as if claws were digging deep into his heart.
                          
Something had changed between them, Tang Qingshan saw. Even as he continued to treat Xu Weiyuan the same, there was an empty feeling in his heart, even recalling a familiar figure from before. When realizing, Tang Qingshan didn't know what to do. How could he?
                          
He was a married man. To say that he had now fallen in love with someone else, how could he ever do that? Tang Qingshan knew that he couldn't do that to Xu Weiyuan, not a man who had willingly been by his side for so long. But yet, the relationship between them wasn't the same anymore.
                          
There was a coldness between them. After Lu Fengmian left and Tang Qingshan found out the truth, there was now something between them that couldn't be fixed. And Tang Qingshan hated himself. How could he say he loved Lu Fengmian, when between them, ashes left from a fire that had already burnt everything? How could he tell the man he was married to, that he now had another in his heart?
                          
Tang Qingshan's face remained the same, cold and unfeeling. He... had thought it through. He couldn't blame Lu Fengmian. He was a fox demon but everything between them was true, it wasn't fake. Lu Fengmian couldn't have known the truth, not when he treated him like so. Even if Tang Qingshan tried, he couldn't bring himself to hate that beautiful and gentle man, that man who radiated like the sun itself.
                          
But, they now fought on different sides. Yet even so, Tang Qingshan found himself aching. There was an empty spot by his side, for the person who once stood by him was gone. While he yearned for Lu Fengmian like so, he also couldn't bring himself to face Xu Weiyuan. He understood just how cruel he was being, that he was a scum deep within. 
                          
His fingers that tapped the table slowly stopped and Tang Qingshan couldn't help but glance at his hands. His hands were not pretty, they held calluses from his years of wielding a sword. Staring at them, he balled his hand into a fist. 
                          
Tang Qingshan knew that by now, maybe Lu Fengmian had already changed. Tang Qingshan knew all too well that if he were the same as before, he would've stopped at nothing to get revenge, but Lu Fengmian was now his weakness. Even if he wanted, Tang Qingshan could no longer bring himself to even think about causing him harm.
                          
Tang Qingshan looked down at the map. He wanted to meet him. He wanted to see him at least once. Tang Qingshan wanted to meet Lu Fengmian once more before he loses the chance to. 
                          
Tang Qingshan already knew. Mo Chou was fighting a losing war. Mo Shen had taken them by surprise, and even though they had known, they had underestimated Mo Shen. Tang Qingshan knew that one day, his life will also end. At least then, he wanted to meet Lu Fengmian once more.
                          
Tang Qingshan stood up, fixing his armor as he prepared to step out. 
                          
From outside the tent, a small print was left on the ground. Small and delicate, there was even a white hair there.