Chapter 12

                                    

                                          
"What's wrong Togami?"
                          
"Please don't call me Togami."
                          
"Oh, sorry, Byakuya."
                          
"What's wrong is I'm destroying my chances at life, and I'm acting like them," Byakuya gritted his teeth.
                          
"Them?" Makoto asked cautiously. 
                          
"My family. I'm not asking you for consent, I almost kissed you..."
                          
"Wait you did?" Makoto seemed genuinely surprised. "I... I am oblivious."  
                          
"So it would seem."
                          
"But no! You're not like your family! I actually like you!"  
                          
Byakuya  felt a small surge of happiness at the approval, but the guilt was  still overpowering. "My... my first kiss was with a girl I'd never met. I  was 11. My father made me. I didn't want to. But I had to." 
                          
Makoto sat down on the floor next to the chair, crossing his legs. "That's..."
                          
"That's  just how my life works." Byakuya responded, his voice flat. "I can't  stop it, I can't change it. Attempting to change it means death."
                          
"But why would they take someone's life over something so small?! Why would they kill their own family member?!"
                          
"Well...  it's not actually death, but it may as well be. Exile from the Togami  family ensures a life of poverty and pain." Byakuya narrowed his eyes.  "I wish to never experience it." He shivered. Makoto shifted closer to  him and rested his head slightly against Byakuya's knee. The taller man  flinched at the touch, but didn't seem to mind. 
                          
"I'm so sorry..." Makoto sighed. Byakuya gently stroked his fluffy hair. 
                          
"Don't worry about it, it's not your fault I have feelings, is it? It's my fault-"
                          
"It's  not your fault either!" Makoto cut in. "You didn't choose to have  feelings! You didn't choose to be born into your family!"
                          
Togami was silent. I know in my mind that he's right, but for some reason in my soul I can't convince myself so. 
                          
"Tog- Byakuya? You ok?" He was jerked out of his internalisation by Makoto patting his leg. 
                          
"I'm  fine," Byakuya snapped. He suddenly felt a wave of guilt wash over him,  despite Makoto's lack of reaction. "Sorry..." he mumbled  apologetically. He hurriedly pet the smaller boy on the head. 
                          
"Don't worry Kuya, it's ok."
                          
Kuya? Byakuya hesitated. He kinda liked it. Makoto stood up, holding his arm awkwardly. "Should... should I go?"
                          
"What? No, why would I tell you to leave? Come here," 
                          
Makoto  stepped forwards a little so that their faces were about a foot appart.  Byakuya reached out and pulled Makoto back onto his lap. Makoto wasn't  as surprised this time. He buried his face in Byakuya's chest. Byakuya  hugged him close. Neither of them knew how long the embrace lasted, but  it was definitely a while. 
                          
"Hold  on," Byakuya shifted the boy on his lap so he could see the clock on  the desk. 3:00pm. "Oh, shit. It's been a lot longer than I thought it  was." 
                          
Makoto glanced at the time. "Oh, yeah, you're right," he murmured sleepy. 
                          
"Um, Naegi," Byakuya said quietly. 
                          
"Mhm?"
                          
"Should we go to my room? This chair is uncomfortable."
                          
He felt Makoto tense up. "Why?"
                          
"I want to hug you but it's hard to when you're sitting on a chair." 
                          
"O-o-oh ok, yeah sure I guess, s-sounds good."
                          
Makoto looked up at him, face pink. 
                          
"Ok then," Byakuya lifted the smaller boy off his lap and stood up. "C'mon Makoto."
                          
"Coming!"  Makoto followed him out of the door and down the hall. Byakuya opened  the door to his room and led Makoto in. The second the door was shut,  Byakuya pulled Makoto back into a tight hug. Makoto sunk into his arms.  "Why do I love it so much when you hug me?" He murmured. 
                          
"I don't know, don't ask me."
                          
"Hehe, you're so... you act like you don't care, but I can tell you do." 
                          
"Shut up," Byakuya pressed his face into Makoto's hair and took a deep breath. 
                          
"Kuya?" Makoto's muffled voice came. 
                          
"Hmm?"
                          
Makoto lifted his face up from Byakuya's chest. "Didn't you... didn't you say earlier... weren't you gonna kiss me?"
                          
Byakuya pulled himself away a little and readjusted his glasses. "Yes. Yes I did."
                          
Makoto backed away a little. "Sorry, was that..."
                          
"No, you are fine." 
                          
"Can... can you...?"
                          
Byakuya leaned over a little, letting himself get closer to the brown haired boy. "I mean... can I?"
                          
Makoto laughed quietly. "I don't know, can you?"
                          
"Is that a yes?" Byakuya asked warily. 
                          
"Yes,"  Makoto smiled. The taller boy lowered himself a little, hesitated, and  then moved in and kissed him on the lips. He was going to quickly pull  away, but to his surprise, Makoto put his arms around Byakuya's waist  and held on. Byakuya closed his eyes in pleasure. He was finally doing  what he'd wanted to do for days: kiss the boy he loved. Finally, Makoto  let go. 
                          
"You're very good at this," Makoto whispered. 
                          
"Oh  am I?" Byakuya responded. He gave him another small kiss before  properly standing up again. He thought for a moment. "We should probably  get some food." He opened the door and nodded at Makoto, who ran over  to him and followed him down the hall to the kitchen. 
                          
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(From future Squid)
                          
Song: This December by Ricky Montgomery