ch 53 : the broken boy

                                    

                                          
You sat with your cheek pressed against the glass of the window as you rode with the trio back to Hogwarts for your next school year. You had been faintly smiling and staring at their scenic view of the sweeping hills and foggy valleys when you realized that Harry had begun to speak in a hushed tone to Ron and Hermione. Ron was sitting forward in his seat next to you, straining to hear Harry while Hermione had a frown on her face and lowered eyebrows.
                          
You listened more carefully when Hermione snapped, "Stop it, Harry. I know where you're going with this." Her eyes nervously darted over to you before she gave Harry a pointed look.
                          
The bespectacled boy ignored her as he hissed, "It happened. He's one of them."
                          
Ron leaned forward further and clarified, "One of who?"
                          
You pulled your face from the window at this moment and looked at them with a curious expression. When Harry and Hermione fell silent, you prodded, "Carry on, then. What are you talking about?"
                          
Hermione shifted in her seat nervously before she admitted, "Harry's under the impression Draco Malfoy is now a Death Eater." Her eyes avoided yours after this comment. 
                          
You grew very still while Ron retorted, "You're barking. What would You-Know-Who want with a sod like Malfoy?" You lowered your eyebrows and grimaced at the rude term Ron had used, even if Draco had treated them terribly over the years. 
                          
"Well, then what's he doing in Borgin and Burkes? Browsing for furniture?" Harry demanded. His volume had risen significantly, which made you flinch.
                          
Ron fired back, "It's a creepy shop. He's a creepy bloke." 
                          
Harry rolled his eyes and grumbled, "Look, his father is a Death Eater. It only makes sense. Besides, Hermione saw it with her own eyes."
                          
Hermione gave an exasperated sigh, "I told you, I don't know what I saw."
                          
Harry assumed a hard stare at the floor and looked ready to fire something else back, but you couldn't take another moment of it. You abruptly stood and shuffled towards the door, mumbling, "I-uh-I think I'm going to go get a quibbler from Luna after all."
                          
You bolted from the room while Ron and Hermione gave Harry pointed looks, knowing that his conversation had driven you off.
                          
-
                          
During your first meal in the Great Hall after the sorting, you kept replaying Harry's words in your mind. Could it be true? His father was in Azkaban for his crimes as a death eater. He couldn't possibly be influencing his son even from prison, could he? Your green eyes curiously drifted over to the Slytherin table while Susan was raving about all of her family's traveling adventures that summer. 
                          
You quickly found Draco at the table, and your eyebrows furrowed at the sight of him. He was staring absently at his plate full of food that he hadn't appeared to have touched, and his arms were crossed in front of him. His expression didn't look cold and arrogant as it usually did. Now, he looked broken.
                          
When Susan sighed, "Oh my God, you should have seen it. It was magnificent. Would you ever want to come with us next summer or something? I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind!" 
                          
You looked back at Susan and nodded. You grinned, "You lot always sound like you have so much fun on these trips. We'd have to get permission from our parents...Oh wow, that's weird. I didn't mean to refer to Sirius and Thelma as my parents."
                          
Susan reached for your hand and beamed, "Well, they've filled that role in your life that has never really been filled for you. It makes sense that you would view them as parents."
                          
You tucked your auburn hair behind your ear and smiled. "I feel so lucky to have them after it just being Harry and I for so long...I feel so connected to my parents through them since they were all so close."
                          
"I'm so glad you finally have that," Susan beamed and tugged you in for a hug. You wrapped your arms around Susan and beamed. 
                          
It was good to be back in the presence of your best friend.
                          
-
                          
One night a few weeks later, you had to go to the Gryffindor dorms to return a book to Hermione just before curfew. You were trying to hurry back to the Hufflepuff dorms after but stopped in your tracks when you saw someone curled up and shaking with their crying in a corridor right by the entrance to your dorm. You moved closer and frowned when you noticed a familiar tuft of silvery blonde hair. 
                          
You hesitantly stepped closer and asked, "Malfoy?"
                          
His head shot up at the sound of your voice, and he scrambled to his feet. He wiped away his tears, looking embarrassed to have been caught crying but relieved that it was only you. He stammered, "Y/N, I...I need a friend, and I know I don't deserve your friendship, but I just needed someone to talk to and-"
                          
Draco's words were cut off as you crossed the few steps between them and crushed him in a hug. He was as stiff as a board at first but slowly calmed down after a moment. You pulled back slightly to look at his red-rimmed eyes and smiled at him sadly. You wondered, "What happened, Draco?"
                          
You didn't care if others viewed your actions as stupid. You saw someone in need of support, and you knew you could be that for him and still protect yourself from him if needed. You weren't going to be foolish this time.
                          
Draco's bottom lip quivered as he whispered, "I can't tell you. You'll just hate me even more."
                          
You sighed, "Draco. I said this before, and I'll say it again: I don't hate you."
                          
He tore away from you and demanded, "Why not? You should. If I were you, I would want me dead for what I did."
                          
"Hating someone is like lighting yourself on fire and hoping the other person will burn," You murmured and scanned his weary face.
                          
Draco blinked for a moment, trying to wrap his head around your words. After a minute, he continued, "But I would deserve that. I deserve to hurt for what I did to you."
                          
You sadly smiled at him and pointed out, "As far as I can tell, you already have been."
                          
He blinked as his eyes glazed over again. He whispered, "But I think this time it will be too much. You will hate me."
                          
You put a hand on his arm and promised, "I doubt that very much. It takes a lot for me to hate someone. I only hate one person really, if you can call them a person, and I know that you're nothing like them."
                          
"Are you talking about Voldemort?" Draco spluttered as he began to look at you with a pain rippling across his face.
                          
You began to nod, but you stopped when Draco's face twisted up seconds before he turned and fled the corridor. You were left standing there, reluctantly watching him go, and hoping that your words had helped the broken boy at least a little bit.