Chapter 65: Tessa

                                    

                                          
The pit in my stomach grows as I watch Hardin peacefully sleep. I've been sitting here for twenty minutes debating how to tell him about his mother. Hardin will never admit it out loud, but he cares for his mother so much. Aside from myself, his mother is the only other woman he's ever told 'I love you'. It's hard being so far away at such a time like this. I know Hardin won't like my idea, but I think it's the best option for everyone right now. I've tried to collect myself the best that I could, but I can still feel the sting of fresh tears in my eyes. Maybe I should wait until morning so I don't disrupt Hardin's sleep schedule. What if something happens in the next six hours though? Stop making excuses, Tessa. You have to tell him now.
                          
I take possibly the deepest breath I've ever taken in my entire life before moving my arms to Hardin's shoulders.
                          
"Hardin..." I whisper softly. His face scrunches together, but he doesn't open his eyes.
                          
"Hardin!" I say a bit louder this time, a little louder than I intended to actually, and that gets his attention. He groans loudly before opening up his eyes slightly.
                          
"What?" He says while yawning. He opens his eyes more, and notices my distressed state. "Hey, are you okay?" He's now wide awake and quickly jumps into defensive mode.
                          
"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." I remove his hands from my face. "I have to tell you something."
                          
"At 3 in the morning? What could be so important-"
                          
"It's about your mother." I interrupt him.
                          
"My mother? When did you talk to her?"
                          
"I didn't. Mike has been calling all night..."
                          
"Okay. What did he say?"
                          
Say it, Tessa.
                          
"He called..." Come on, Tessa. "Umm... he just wanted to let you know..." Damn it, just say it! "Your mother was in a really bad accident, and she's currently in the hospital."
                          
My heart breaks as Hardin's face turns to stone. He sucks in a harsh breath as he asks, "What? Is she okay?"
                          
"Mike said she's in critical condition."
                          
"Critical? Like on her deathbed?"
                          
"I don't know. Mike's gonna update me with information. Hardin, I'm so sorry."
                          
He looks away from my eyes and stares off into space. I wish I knew what he was thinking. He must be absolutely devastated.
                          
"Hardin, I have an idea. It isn't the most ideal situation, but I think it's something we should do."
                          
He looks up at me without saying a word. I take that as a non-verbal cue to share my idea.
                          
"I think we should use the honeymoon money to fly out to England and see your mother."
                          
His face immediately scrunches in anger. "No, absolutely not."
                          
"Why not? It would work out, plus then we don't need to spend all this extra money to go to England."
                          
"We were just planning the perfect honeymoon, and you just want to throw that all away to visit my mum in the hospital? No. You deserve better than that."
                          
"I don't mind-"
                          
"I mind, Tessa!" He raises his voice to me, and I slink back. I know the reason Hardin is acting this way is because he doesn't know how to react to the news.
                          
"Your mom is in critical condition, Hardin. She needs us right now."
                          
I can see the wheels turning in his mind, and I feel him slowly surrendering to my idea. "Fine. Book the tickets."
                          
"I already did... for later today at 12:30." I knew he would say yes, so I just went ahead and booked them before the flight booked up.
                          
"Do you think she's gonna die?" Hardin whispers so softly. There is so much pain in his voice, it breaks my heart even farther than I ever thought possible.
                          
"Don't think like that..."
                          
"I can't..." He digs his hands through his hair, and I can tell he's about to have a panic attack. I get up quickly from the bed and sprint to the kitchen to get him a glass of water. I nearly slip on the floor because of my fuzzy socks as I race back to the bedroom. Hardin is clenching his chest, and breathing very frantically. I place the cold glass of water on the table before climbing back into bed and crashing his head onto my chest.
                          
"Hey, it's okay." I rub his back with my nails to try and soothe him. "Deep breaths."
                          
Hardin's harsh breaths quickly turn into sobs as he wraps his arms around my torso, digging his face into my neck. I can feel his cries shake throughout his body. He has reached his breaking point. I've only seen Hardin breakdown a handful of times, but this time is just different. He's always so cold towards his mother, but the thought of losing her brings him to tears. I know he just needs me to be here, so I sit silently and run my fingers up and down his back.
                          
When he finally lifts his head from my shoulder, I reach across to give him the glass of water that's lukewarm now. He thanks me, and wipes his nose on his sweatshirt.
                          
"I'm sorry for breaking down like that. I don't know what's wrong with me."
                          
Is he apologizing for crying?
                          
"You never need to apologize for expressing your feelings, especially about something as serious as this.
                          
"Thank you. I think I just need to go back to sleep." He puts the water back on the table and tucks himself back under the blanket. He grabs my waist, pulling me to him. He pulls me so close that our noses are touching when I lay down.
                          
"I love you. Everything will be alright." I assure him with a quick peck on his lips. I really hope I am right. Who am I to tell him that everything will be alright? I have learned that life throws curve balls at us, and this is such a devastating curve ball headed for Hardin's and my way. Things were going so well, almost too well. We got married, we are expecting a baby girl, we planned the most perfect honeymoon then BAM! All of the good is destroyed by one thing. I understand how Hardin is feeling, since my mother is also not doing too well either. I should call her soon to see how she's doing. Our mothers aren't the models for amazing parenting, but they're still our moms. No matter how much terrible shit they have done to us, we can't live without them.
                          
"I love you." Hardin whispers in my ear before falling back to sleep, and I follow short after.