Chapter 8 | "lucky to have you"

                                    

                                          
Jihyun and Shotaro walk down the stairs together, talking happily in Japanese as she smiles and nods at his words. Upon their arrival, all the boys turn to look at them, stunned to see Jihyun smiling, especially with Shotaro. She looks at the boys, sharing a knowing smiling with Sungchan while Yuta looks like he's about to explode from happiness.
                          
"Hey guys" Jihyun speaks slowly once they reach the bottom of the stairs, her eyes flicking from member to member. "Can all of you come over here for a minute, I have some things to say." 
                          
She walks over to the lounge, taking a seat on the armrest of Sungchan's chair and facing the rest of the members as they gather, looking at her with a mix of confusion and worry. She takes a deep breath before speaking.
                          
"I-I'm sorry."
                          
All of the boys widen their eyes, looking at one another in shock. Unable to speak, they continue to stare at her.
                          
"I'm sorry that I've been so harsh on you guys. I'm sorry I've been trying to stop you guys from getting to know the students. I'm sorry that it seems like I don't trust you anymore. More than anything, I'm sorry about who I've become." Tears brim her eyes as she tries, and fails, to blink them away. Sungchan reassuringly rests his hand on her lower back, Jihyun sending him a grateful smile in return.
                          
"Believe me when I haven't always been like this, Jaehyun, Mark, and Taeyong can attest to that." The three nod their heads as they continue to stare at her in shock. 
                          
"And please believe me when I say that I have my reasons for acting like this, but none of those reasons really applies to you guys." She gestures around the room as her members begin to process her words.
                          
"I've been letting my past trauma get the best of me and it's stopped me from remembering who you guys are. I'd trust you with my life, we're family, and I haven't been treating you like that." She looks around the room, sad but knowing smiles on many of their faces. 
                          
"I've become someone I'm not. I've been living with my guard up and this mafia facade on for the past few years, and I only now realize that I haven't been able to separate the two, even in front of you guys." 
                          
"It's okay Jihyun." Her eyes shoot up as Johnny speaks up. "No one has gone through what you have." She stares at him, unable to respond, simply matching his sad smile.
                          
"He's right Ji, we get it." Taeyong speaks softly, looking at her with a warm gaze.
                          
"I know you guys get it, but that doesn't make it fair. We're family, I don't have to keep my walls up around you guys. I just...don't know how to take them down anymore." She huffs out, tears slowly making their way down her face.
                          
"That's why we're here." Jaehyun grips her hand from the seat next to her as he speaks. "We're here to help you, Ji. To support you and help you heal. You've experienced things that most of us wouldn't even dream of. You've suffered more than any of us. You've lived this for your whole life and still manage to be there for all of us. 
                          
You're not just our leader, but our sister. We're going to be there for you too. You shouldn't have to deal with all of your demons alone, you've been doing that for far too long." Jaehyun smiles as he strokes the top of her hand with his thumb, speaking to her with a soothing voice. 
                          
"I don't deserve you guys." She mumbles, staring at the ground.
                          
"No." Shotaro speaks up, causing all eyes to turn his way, even Jihyun's. "We're lucky to have you in our family." He smiles at her. A comfortable silence overtaking the room as they all look at one another, realizing how much they love they have for their little family. 
                          
"So" Hendery speaks up, "how about some pizza and avengers movies?" The rest of the boys let out cheers of excitement, all gradually standing up and hugging Jihyun, and for the first time in a long time, she allows the smile to overtake her features.
                          
---
                          
The next day at school, the students notice a change in Jihyun. Her whole aura seems lighter, still terrifying, but the anger somehow gone. She walks through the hallways, on her way to visit another class, when a student accidentally trips and bumps into her. She spins around to face the student, anger flashing in her eyes as he quivers in fear behind her.
                          
"I-I-I'm so s-sorry. Please don't kill me, it won't happen again" He stutters out, his face rapidly becoming pale. To everyone's surprise, Jihyun doesn't lash out at him. Instead she pauses, straightening up and taking a deep breath.
                          
"It's fine, don't worry about it. Just be careful, I don't want any of you getting hurt." She speaks gently, a forced smile on her face but a genuinely warm look in her eyes before she turns and continues on her way, leaving the students in the hallway stunned. 
                          
This continues for the next few days, her shift in demeanor a surprising but welcome change to the student's school life. She still has to fight it, calm her anger and nerves as her instincts are still to lash out. 
                          
She's still sharp with them, and none of the students forget how terrifying she could be, but they were grateful that she was at least trying to be more kind to them. There was a sense of respect towards her rather than just pure fear.
                          
About a week later, she decided to visit Hongjoong's class, walking down the hallway before approaching his room. The student in front of her quickly rushes to open the door, holding it open for her as she gets close. Before entering, she pauses, turning to the student.
                          
"Thank you," she says, looking at his nametag, "Renjun." She looks at him with a small smile as he stares at her in shock. "You're the one that Johnny sometimes talks about, arent you?" He quickly nods his head at her. 
                          
"From what I hear, you're a pretty good shooter, I look forward to seeing your skills in this class as well." She nods at him before walking into the room, causing Renjun's ears to turn red before he snaps out of his trance and rushes into the room. 
                          
Upon her entrance, all of the students go silent, no one daring to move a single muscle in her presence. She stops a few paces into the room, staring at the class before clearing her throat.
                          
"Good morning, students. I hope you don't mind me watching your class today, I've been wanting to visit a level 1 combat class for a while. I look forward to seeing your skills." She speaks stiffly with an unreadable expression. She doesn't look overly excited, but definitely not angry. The students look at her in shock before dipping their heads with nervous smiles.
                          
She walks over to Hongjoong and San at the front of the desk, them dipping their heads respectfully to her with a smile on their faces. 
                          
"Jaehyun told us what went down last week." She looks at San, raising her eyebrows. "I just want to say I'm proud of you. You've been through a lot." They smile at one another, her warmly embracing him in a short hug, causing him to let out a small laugh before pulling away.
                          
"But no matter what happens to you, you'll always be our little sister who used to be too short to even put her gun up on the rack." Hongjoong remarks, causing the three of them share a light laugh before Jihyun moves to the side of the room, allowing them to begin their class.
                          
———
Alright now that we're past all the boring backstory and brooding Jihyun, it's time to get going a bit and start meeting the dreamies. It's coming soon!!
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