Chapter 34: I Got A Hard-On Over Sandwich

                                    

                                          
Lia's POV:-
                          
Julian and I flinch in sync on hearing Olivia Kyuscova's voice break, as she continues to sing the school anthem in an overly high pitch, inserting exaggerated hand gestures on spot. 

                          
The whole school was summoned for a special assembly in the gigantic school hall. It was to mark the opening for some sort of sports bonanza thing. Basically a whole lot of schools from different towns pick one sport each, and all the other schools send their respective teams to that school. The usual stuff.
                          
My eyes drift towards the front section where all the seniors were seated. I see Max and the boys talking and snickering among themselves. Then there was a moment complete silence, except for Olivia Kyuscova's ear-splitting chorus. All of sudden, Ian starts guffawing. Like he threw back his head and laughed loudly unable to control himself. The only good outcome was that, Olivia Kyuscova got startled and stopped singing giving a relief to everybody's ears. 

                          
Apart from that Mr. Bassington, our principle who was standing with Olivia Kyuscova on stage glowered at Ian as he stormed up to the mic stand, dismissing Olivia Kyuscova with a hand signal.

                          
"Mr. Cooper since you, so stubbornly interrupted Ms. Kyuscova's singing, I'll assume you wish to sing our anthem and give an even better performance" Mr. Bassington grits through his teeth. 

                          
"No sir. I am good" Ian squeaks. 

                          
"Mr. Cooper please come forward and finish from where Ms. Kyuscova left off" Mr. Bassington scowls and steps aside from the mic.
                          
Watching Ian stand up was like watching a new born giraffe learning to walk. He kept sitting down hoping the principle would spare him, but Dylan who was sitting next to him, kept poking and pinching him to go up. Finally, it was like Ian thought 'Fuck-all'. He stood up and marched up to the stage and grabbed the mic like a pop singer.
                          
I wish on my tonsils, that I could say, he shattered windows with his heavy baritone. That, people got goosebumps and shivers from his breath-taking performance. But I won't lie.
                          
It. Was. Traumatizing. 

                          
I swear I saw souls leaving the room from terror. Ian had no sense of tune and sang completely off-key. The music teacher, Mr. Jones helplessly tried to play the keyboard to make it bearable for the public, but after a while he gave up. Not just on Ian, but on music itself.
                          
"Oh my God" Julian whispers horrified as I watch transfixed at what was going to be History's First Ear-drum Massacre.
                          
Few rows behind the boys, someone shouted, "Boooo.."
                          
Luke turned around and fixed the guy such a scary threatening stare, that he shut right up and shrunk in his chair. His eyes meet mine for a second and I saw the faintest of smile forming. But before I could figure out he turned his head around. 

                          
Meanwhile Ian continued to passionately sing the anthem, altering it to his own convenience. He obviously didn't know the lyrics so he had started rhyming lines on his own. Right now he was singing a paragraph that vicariously praised the morning school bell.
                          
Mr. Bassington had enough when, at one point Ian replaced the line 'Oh hark, they are calling' with 'Oh dank shit, they are weeping'.
                          
"Okay Mr. Cooper. We had enough from you" he pushed Ian away as everybody choked on horrified giggles.
                          
"Go straight to my office" he says barely controlling his anger. Then he turns to us to probably scream and damage the ears of the ones that got lucky and survived Ian's concert.
                          
........................
                          
Ignoring the desperate pleas from my lunch sandwich, I listen to Alex who was telling me a amusing story. I get distracted, as a  very irritated Luke joins us. Everybody start laughing  looking at him.