Chapter 36

                                    

                                          
"What happened to you?" Hermione asked as Harry sat down holding a tissue to his nose. 
                          
"Later" Harry simply replied, but gave me a look as if to say my gut feeling was right. I looked over at Draco again and he was sat with his head resting in his hand, looking like he was deep in thought. 
                          
I didn't have time to find him the next morning to talk to him, as I had to prepare to assist with my first potions class. Professor Slughorn had me brewing amortentia while he chatted to me about the lesson. 
                          
"So we're going to have them brew a living death potion, an extremely difficult potion to get right, and whoever does it the best will receive a vial of liquid luck." 
                          
"Living death potion? The impossible to get right!" I exclaimed. 
                          
"Yes exactly, this year we must challenge the students, no more silly kid potions. How is that amortentia coming along my dear?"
                          
"It's done Professor."
                          
"Well?" 
                          
I looked at him. "Well what?"
                          
"Well test it then Miss Greenwood. What do you smell?" 
                          
I smelt the same thing I've always smelt in it. "Apples and expensive cologne." 
                          
"Curious. Oh here we are, hello everyone, come in!" Students started to file in and I saw him try to dodge past me but I caught him by his robes and he turned to face me, his face creased into a forced smile. 
                          
"Hey." He said. 
                          
"Hey? That's all I get? What going on with you?"
                          
"Nothing, I'm all good. Promise." He sent me another weak smile and went to stand at the back of the class. 
                          
I watched him the whole time Professor Slughorn was talking about the potions we had brewed. He looked like his mind was a thousand miles away, and I could see the dark bags under his eyes all the way across the room. All I wanted to do was give him a hug and find out what was going on with him so I could help, but that seemed like the last thing he wanted. I saw him perk up with interest when liquid luck was mentioned, and I saw desperation fill his eyes as he grabbed his textbook to begin making it. I had been so focused on Draco that I hadn't even seen Harry and Ron come in, who both sent me a smile as they went to their table. 
                          
As I walked around the room inspecting people's cauldrons and dodging flying beans, I felt someone grab my arm. I turned to see Draco looking at me. "I need that liquid luck." 
                          
"What? Why?"
                          
"I just need it. Please help me."
                          
"Not until you tell me what's going on with you Draco." 
                          
"Please, I promise you'll find out soon." 
                          
Something about the look in his eyes made me give in, and after I made sure no one was looking I dropped a whole load of ingredients into his cauldron and leant down to whisper in his ear "meet me at the top of the astronomy tower tonight" before walking away. Even after helping Draco, Harry won the prize and I saw Draco's face flushed with anger as he stormed out of the class. 
                          
I was up at the astronomy tower way before sunset. It was raining like crazy, the weather was clearly reflecting my mood. It was dark when he finally came up. I was just about to give up and go to the common room when I heard him on the stairs. 
                          
"Nice of you to show up." I said, not even looking at him as he sat down next to me. 
                          
"Sorry. I was busy. Homework." 
                          
I came straight out and said it. "Are you a death eater?"
                          
"What?"
                          
"Answer my question."
                          
"I think you know the answer."
                          
"I want to hear it from you. I need to hear it from you."
                          
"Ok. I'm a death eater. Happy?" 
                          
"No Draco I'm not happy. Why the fuck would I be happy? This is the family business you talked about?!" 
                          
"You really are smart."
                          
I looked at him. He was trying to hard to be cold with me but his pale skin and tired eyes showed me that was more going on beneath the surface than he was letting on.
                          
"Why did you break Harry's nose?"
                          
"Did you not hear that because of precious Potter my father is in Azkaban?" 
                          
"No. I didn't hear actually. Because you never told me. You never told me anything."
                          
"Everyone hates me. I can't deal with you hating me too."
                          
"What makes you think I'm going to hate you?"
                          
"Because of what I have to do."
                          
"And what's that?"
                          
"I can't tell you." The sky suddenly filled with thunder and I felt him wince beside me. I know how much he hates thunderstorms. I reached out to grab his hand but he pulled his arm away from me. 
                          
"DONT" 
                          
"What?"
                          
"Don't touch me."
                          
I felt my eyes filling with tears, but I blinked them away furiously. "I don't know who I'm talking to right now but this is not the Draco I fell in love with. I don't understand why you can't tell me anything, you know everything about me, EVERYTHING! I wrote letter after letter to you Draco. Every single night I sat there and waited for a reply that I didn't get. Do you know how many times I walked down the street and thought I saw you but I was just imagining it? I love you more than anything in the world, ANYTHING. Thats never going to change. I'm big on trust and if you can't trust me then I don't see why this needs to continue. Come back to me when you've sorted your shit out." I stood up and looked at him. He couldn't even meet my eyes but I could see his own glistening with tears. He went to open his mouth, almost like he wanted to say something, then closed it again quickly. I stormed out of the tower, my eyes flooding with the tears of all the emotion in my body.