•*Chapter 18*•

                                    

                                          
I R I S
                          
Today was Sunday and tomorrow would be my first day of school. I was dog-shit nervous because I would be the outcast again. And even though Adam would be there, I doubt my brothers would let me think about him, much less talk to him. Which I still think is very unfair.
                          
But speaking of my brothers, Lorenzo and I went on our little sibling day, and to say it was the most fun I've ever had would be a huge understatement. I went to a carnival for the first time in my life and it was amazing. From the food to the rides. Enzo really treated me like a brother should a sister. When we stopped at the top of the ferris wheel he gave me a charm bracelet and told me he loved me.
                          
Emilio and I were also extremely close as he is always spending time with me. Whether it's us cooking together or having movie marathons. He's also been really fragile with me ever since he "acted like a big mouthed dick", in his words. He blames himself for what I tried to do and I feel so horrible.
                          
Luca and Alejandro are LITERALLY being exactly like they were before, which is fine with me. Luca is a darling!!!!! He's the most precious soul ever. Alejandro is............ Alejandro.
                          
Mateo.
                          
I don't even know.
                          
He's been avoiding me. And to say I don't miss him would be a lie. I enjoyed his company even though we ended up fighting in two seconds. Call me mental, but I honestly love Mateo. Like I genuinely love him. So I'm probably just stupid. But he's been avoiding me ever since the incident. And it just doesn't feel right.
                          
Right now we just finished eating and I'm scrolling through my Instagram feed. I'm not active on social media, cause I don't post or anything, but I think I just downloaded it for the content. Snapchat I just use for personal pictures and Facebook is for old people so let's not even go there. 
                          
I was in the kitchen at the counter when Mateo walked in. The last time we were in here alone it didn't end well. But when he saw me this time he rolled his eyes and turned around to walk out.
                          
"Wait!" I shouted. "Can I please talk to you?"
                          
He looked at me with narrowed eyes before sighing and sitting across the counter from me. He looked at me directly in my eyes, urging me to go on with what it is I wanted to say. Little did he know I didn't know what to say. So I did what I thought was best. I got up and made my way around the counter and looked up at him. He looked down at me with his left eyebrow raised. I took a deep breath.
                          
Then I hugged him.
                          
He was frightened by the gesture but I held onto him as tight as I could. I don't know what came over me, but I missed him so much. He sighed, relaxed and hugged me back. Tightly. He stood up without letting me go, raising my feet from off the kitchen floor, so I wrapped them around him, and he began swaying gently. I could feel the emotion rolling off of him in tidal waves, but just kept my mouth shut and enjoyed it while it lasted. Because knowing him, by tomorrow we'd be back to square one.
                          
He placed me down very gently and released his hold on me. He looked at me tenderly before sighing slightly. He turned around to walk out of the kitchen but I grabbed his arm.
                          
"I miss you." I said. "I miss you a lot. And I know you don't like me but I rather you annoy me and tease me than treat me like I don't exist."
                          
He shook his head and laughed humorlessly . "Don't say that Iris. I rather not talk to you than talk shit about you. And the worse part is I end up hurting myself more than you whenever I say something mean to you." he says. "I know I've been confusing when it comes to the way I feel about you, but honestly Iris? You're the best part of my life right now."