"Ah, darling~ that's not how you treat people that you serve~" 
                          
"I am off work, I don't serve anyone. I will call the police, stay away from me" 
                          
"tsk tsk tsk, you never learn, do you?"
                          
~
                          
"Ah, I think it's time for Yuyu to go to bed now, mhm?" Seonghwa said and lifted his boy in his lap. "It's quite late, you can stay here, you can have dome clothes from your brother" Seonghwa said as he slowly rocked Yunho. 
                          
"No... I should go home, it's fine, it's just a couple minutes..." Hyerin gave back shyly. 
                          
"Uh-uh, I can't let you walk alone. Hongjoong won't be back for another couple hours. It's fine, Rin. How about I put him to sleep and we watch a drama, hm?" Seonghwa suggested and gave the girl a reassuring smile. "I'll be back in a couple minutes, you can choose what to watch in the meantime" 
                          
As Seonghwa disappeared to the next room to put baby Yunho to sleep, Hyerin shifted uncomfortably on the couch. She felt like a burden, staying at her brother's apartment. "Hyeja... Where are you?" she whispered and looked out of the window. It was late, she should have come pick her up an hour ago. 
                          
~
                          
"Last night a dead body was found. The murders first raped, then killed the young woman cold-bloodedly. Her identity was confirmed the next day by a family member. The police is still searching for the murderer of Kim Hyeja. Please avoid staying out long and contact the police if spotting any suspicious acts..."
                          
Seonghwa squeezed Hongjoong's hand as they listened to the news. They just had entered their home, they had been at the police station the whole morning. 
                          
Hongjoong had no expression in his face, as if he was not affected by the death of his sister at all. Seonghwa knew he was suppressing everything, it concerned him just so much more. But he didn't dare to open his mouth. Everything was just too fresh, it still felt so unbelievable. Though, they had been at the station to confirm that it was Hyeja's body. He had seen it. But it felt so unreal.
                          
~
                          
Hongjoong stirred awake from his nightmare. Sweat had formed on his forehead, sticking his hair together. He groaned as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. He had had dreamt about his oldest sister and Hyerin, telling and over taht she was going to leave like a mantra. Hongjoong looked over to Seonghwa whose head was hanging down from the bed. He carefully pulled his husband back into the bed. For a second, Seonghwa's eyes snapped open, and then closed just as fast. He snuggled back into his pillow and continued sleeping peacefully, unlike Hongjoong.
                          
Something was feeling so off, he couldn't name it. His chest felt heavy and his mind couldn't grasp one thought, no matter how hard he tried. All he could think of where the images of the past. He sighed and laid back down, tried to sleep again. But the buzzing of his phone started. 
                          
Confused, he reached for his phone, and read the name. Hyerin.
                          
"Hyerin ? Are you okay?... It's two in the morning-" he groaned and closed his eyes again. When he heard a loud sob, they shot open again. "Rin? Rin, are you okay?"
                          
The sobbs didn't stop, just got louder. Hongjoong was still to sleep drunk to put things together the right way. "C-can you pick me u-up?" the girl sobbed. "I-i don't think I c-can-"
                          
Hongjoong bolted out of his bed, his heart racing. "Rin? Where are you? Stay, stay where you are, I will get you" The man grabbed any type of clothes he could find. The line fell silent, Hongjoong's heart stopped for a second "Hey! Hey, Rin, talk to me, please!" Hongjoong rushed out of his house, listening to his sisters quiet sobbs.
                          
"I can't do this anymore... I just want to go" she cried, hiccups cutting her voice. "It's so hard... I feel like-like I can't breathe, like I'm drowning-- Hongjoong I-"
                          
"It's fine, Hyerin. Everything is going to be fine, I promise, please. Just tell me where you are, so I can come to you, ah?"
                          
On the other side of the line, Hyerin stood on the middle of the Mapo-Bridge. Her face was drenched by tears, her throat sore from crying and sobbing. Her chest hurt, as if something was eating her from inside, she felt like losing. The leashes of control left her hands one by one, she was losing herself a bit more every second. "I can't" she breathed out "I need you to know..."
                          
"Hyerin, where are you? Tell me"
                          
"No!... No" Hyerin wiped off her tears and tried to keep down her sobbs. "you can't change my mind... Just listen. Listen to me once"
                          
"Rin-"
                          
"Remember when your first guitar?" 
                          
"What are yo-" 
                          
"I broke it. It never went missing, I broke it, and threw it away before you could notice"
                          
Hongjoong sat inside his car, concentrated on the sounds that where coming from the background of the call. A couple cars, honking here and there, but very distant. There was noise, sounding like some type of flowing water. Hongjoong was sure she had to be on some kind of bridge or anywhere near the river.
                          
"... I... I know where Hyeja's murderer is... Sometimes I wished he did the same to me; killing me..." a loud cry broke from her lips "he-... He caught me. Bruised every bit of my body, stole my dignity... And I let him do it, everytime"
                          
Hongjoong started the car and drove on the street, his hand clenching around the steering wheel.
                          
"he said he would kill me, then find you, and then Seonghwa and then Yunho... He said - he said- he cut- I was too scared... But now I wish he had just ended me... Every time I look in the mirror I see this face, I see these scars and all the horror comes back... I see Hyeja... Did you know? She did that, that was her work to bring money home... My sister did that so I could eat... "
                          
"It was her decision, Hyerin. It's not your fault, it doesn't have anything to do with you"
                          
"not? She died, Eunha died... I died. Because I was too much, Hongjoong. Whoever did something for me, died. Remember Eunha? That girl that tried to be my friend, she didn't take her own life, I killed her too" Hyerin gripped the railing to hold herself up. Memories started to come back, memories she didn't want to remember. "I kill people, I kill innocent people that only want good, Hongjoong. Can't you see it?"
                          
"Hyerin, please--that's not ture. You're not responsible for others decisions-"
                          
"I hate this body... I can't live with it anymore... I can't go on looking into my eyes and play like nothing happened" a broken smile flashed over her face "It's fine, Hongjoong. You have been the best brother, I love you. I will be fine, I'm sure Hyeja is waiting for me"
                          
"Hey! Rin!" Hongjoong pressed the gas pedal, bolting over the nearest bridge. It was empty, no soul anywhere.
                          
"I wanted to say goodbye today. It made me happy that you built such a beautiful life and could leave out broken home behind... Are you loved, Hongjoong?"
                          
"You are too!" Hongjoong sobbed into the phone and drove to the next bridge. "I love you, Hyerin. Please, just stay where you are, I will find you!"
                          
The girl chuckled softly and dry. "How does it feel, Joongie? Tell me, how does it feel to wake up and not feel like your body is burning and your heart dying?"
"Say, how does it feel like to not be at war with your own mind?"
"How does it feel like to know that you can breathe?"
"How does living feel like?"
"Tell me, brother, how does unconditional love feel like?"







                          
And then, the line broke.








                          
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*author is running*