i got a notification that stokeley is live , i joined it hoping he was with jah cause i know they be everywhere together.

i clicked the live  "I THINK X GOT SHOT" is the first thing I heard when I joined

my body instantly froze from shock  ,  he sounded hurt i just know it was real but i refuse to believe it i didn't want to...

The people he was live with wasn't listening I was to shock to even cry i sat quietly until the live ended , not saying anything..

i blankly stare at a picture of jahseh and me on my nightstand as a tear fell from my eyes , i didn't want to believe it 
i hope this is all a dream
 
I went to the news it was a commercial i stay there shaking waiting for the news to come on

i didn't even want to watch it so i turned off the tv and silently cried to myself 

I finally got my strength to call mama Cleo , nobody picked up  

"eli i'm going go jah house" i said quietly , i couldn't even stand knowing what just happened 

my heart hurts "hey whats wrong"naveen said as she walked out the kitchen , i honestly didn't wat to say the words 

"i think jah got shot" i said silently and started crying , the whole house went quiet 

after a while of crying i finally had the confidence to go to mama cleo house when i got there i knocked on the door , she answered 

No words was shared , i hugged her i didn't want to talk about it right now i rather the quietness !.

It's my fault I should've go with him , I hugged Cleo tight before she let go off me and close the door 

She wipe her eyes and hugged me again she didn't have the energy to talk and either did I 

It was quite in the house , Aidan was at his grandma house he didn't know what happened and I know Cleo not going to tell him right now

It would be hard telling your younger son that his older brother just pass I should have asked him can I come with him maybe this wouldn't happen.

"Be strong for me , okay?" Cleo said rubbing my back we both were crying I couldn't stop I can't believe this is really happening

we all got in a car i was with mama cleo we were going to the hospital 

I stayed with Cleo for the day it's around 10pm now and we still at the hospital

Staring at the hospital wall , this don't feel right I miss his hugs already he was suppose to come back to my house

I laid my head in my hands then started crying




It was no talking , everyone went quiet