Reconciliation

                                    

                                          


                          
DREAM POV
                          


                          
Clay's palms were sweating as he knocked on the door. Despite the hot Florida climate, he was shivering in a cold sweat. He clenched and unclenched his fists as he waited for a response from inside his parents' home, his foot tapping anxiously. About 30 seconds later, he heard the lock click and a tall woman with long blonde hair and piercing green eyes appeared before him.
                          
"Hello? Oh-" Clay's mother gasped and clamped a hand to her mouth when she saw her son on the doorstep. Her eyes brimmed with tears.
                          
"Hi mom."
                          
The older lady stumbled forward, collapsing in Clay's arms. 
                          
"Clay, Clay...where have you been..." She was sobbing, and Clay felt his anger and resentment soften just a little. He put a hand on her back and another on her shoulder to steady her, gently pushing her away from him.
                          
"We need to talk, mom."
                          
The blonde woman looked up at him, her eyes still filled with tears. 
                          
"I-we-we haven't seen you in years, baby. Why won't you talk to us? Why wouldn't you come home?" 
                          
She cupped his face in her hands.
                          
Clay sighed.
                          
"Let's just go inside."
                          


                          
* 	* 	*
                          


                          
"Two years, Clay? Why? Do you know what this has done to your father and I?"
                          
Clay looked down at his lap as they sat at the kitchen table. Everything looked the same — eerily the same as to how he remembered it. When he had moved out in October two years ago, things had not been great. At all. Being back in this house, for real, not just in his dreams, brought back so many memories. It was both comforting and sickening. He felt nostalgic and nauseous at the same time. Being at home made him feel like a kid again, free and innocent, but also small and scared. 
                          
"I'm sorry mom."
                          
She closed her eyes, shaking her head sadly as she sniffed and dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. 
                          
Clay opened his mouth to continue, then paused. After all of the months of build up to the situation, all the conversations and scenarios he'd practiced in his head over and over to prepare for this, he suddenly wasn't sure what to say.
                          
"I'm sorry." he said again, still looking down.
                          
"I-I mean it. I am really sorry. I was really angry at you guys, and I...I think you know that. I still am angry. But... I missed you, too."
                          
His mother wiped her eyes again, taking a big, shaky breath. 
                          
"I'm sorry too, Clay. I never...we never meant to hurt you sweetie. We just want what's best for you and I didn't think you understood that-"
                          
"That what? That being attracted to guys is a crime? Because it's not, mom. And I realize now that instead of running away I could have made you realize this, but I'm still upset with you. I know you don't understand it. I know you think it's wrong. But its not. And I'm more sorry that you think it is than I am anything else. I mean — hell, I love you mom, but-but don't you care about me?"
                          
The blonde woman burst back into tears.
                          
"Of course I do, honey. I-I just don't-I don't-"
                          
"Don't what, mom?" Clay spoke as gently as he could. "This isn't a disease. It's just a part of who I am, and I couldn't change it even if I wanted to."
                          
She closed her eyes, then nodded slowly.
                          
"Okay...okay. So you...you are sure about...this? Danny wasn't just...a phase?"
                          
He sighed again.
                          
"Yes, mom. I am. And no, he wasn't."
                          
She rubbed her forehead, nodding again.
                          
"Okay." she stopped for a second, choosing her words.
                          
"I'm sorry Clay. I...I'm still not used to this whole...concept, but I...I know I can change. Please believe me, honey. I love you."
                          
Clay reached a hand out across the table and she took it. He gave her hand a squeeze, smiling at her sadly.
                          
"Thank you, mom. I love you too. And you definitely need to re-evaluate your morals a little bit, but I'm glad you're willing to change. I only hope dad will be the same."
                          
She returned the smile weakly.
                          
"It-it might be difficult for him. You know what his family is like. But...but I promise I'll try my best with him."
                          
Clay nodded. 
                          
"Thank you." he said quietly.
                          
They didn't speak for a couple of minutes. His mother grabbed another tissue to blow her nose then looked him in the eyes.
                          
"What...what made you come back? Other than to tell me what a shitty mom I've been." she managed a sad laugh.
                          
Clay gave a quiet laugh as well. 
                          
"I...I have a new boyfriend, mom."
                          
She nodded.
                          
"I thought that might be the case."
                          
He squeezed her hand again. She smiled at him from across the table.
                          
"I don't suppose I could ever...meet him?" she said quietly.
                          
Clay felt his heart thaw entirely. His smile spread across his face confidently this time. 
                          
"I would love for you to meet him. He lives in England, but I'm sure he would be happy to make a trip here to see you. He...he actually asked if he could meet you before I left."
                          
Her eyes brightened.
                          
"He...did? What a sweet boy. What's his name?"
                          
Clay looked down again, this time grinning.
                          
"George."
                          
She smiled warmly. "Well...when you get back...you tell George that I would be delighted to have him here anytime."
                          
Clay met her eyes and saw that she was dead serious. He felt even happier, elated, if that was even possible.
                          
They were quiet again, but this time the silence was comfortable. Clay thought about George. 
                          
I hope he's doing okay right now. I wish he was here.
                          
He thought about their apartment, he thought about George coming back to Florida to meet his parents. His heart buzzed at the thought.
                          
Clay spoke up after a few minutes. 
                          
"Mom?"
                          
"Yes, honey?"
                          
"I'm in love with him."
                          
"If he makes you happy then I'm happy, sweetie."
                          
Clay wasn't done. He took a deep breath.
                          
"I need your help with something, actually." he looked back up at her.
                          


                          
"Anything, Clay."
                          


                          
"I...I want to marry him."