34 || ah burden, the burden of it all!

                                    

                                          
"wonwoo wait up, can I ask you a question?" a voice called out to the senior as he tried walking to his last class of the day. he groaned at the sound of it; not being in a good mood and the ongoing headache he had from yesterday left him easily irritable. he wasn't up for answering to anyone right now, even if they were his friend like joshua was. however, joshua still managed to catch up with the brooding senior as he rushed off, stopping wonwoo in his tracks by stepping right in front of him. "what do you want joshua? is there a problem?"
                          
"you know there is. something is up with jun and he won't say anything to me about it. it's kind of annoying that he won't actually because something is clearly up, I was hoping you would tell-" joshua rambled on about jun, or more like something he noticed about jun. the chinese student seemed to be weaker than usual. he caught jun having hand tremors yesterday during one of their shared classes and jun brushed it off as nothing. joshua knew if anyone were to know what was going on with jun, it would be wonwoo.
                          
however, even wonwoo stayed silent as joshua continued talking, not even focusing on what the brunette was saying. instead his mind flashed back to the conversation he had had with jun yesterday during their lunch period.
                          
"what is wrong with you? you don't normally act this way." wonwoo asked harshly to jun who made it clear he didn't want to speak to wonwoo at all by walking away from him. when the senior had caught up with the purple haired senior, he gripped his wrist while pulling with enough strength to stop jun from walking altogether. that was when jun pulled his own giant smile onto his face to direct at the agitated latter. "I am pretty unpredictable wonwoo, I never really do act like people normally expect me to."
                          
"I know what's going on with you jun, you can cut the act. I think you know it won't work on me." jun turned to face wonwoo, he should have known that his best friend had the smarts to figure it out. somehow the ravenette always knew things before jun told him like how he figured out jun stole his homework once during 7th grade or when wonwoo confronted him about liking joshua. to be fair that one was quite obvious, all jun did was dote after the brunette. "so you know?"
                          
"your sister told me about how you've been skipping your meds. I didn't want to believe it at first because you aren't that stupid, but apparently you are." jia had gone to wonwoo to ensure that jun would keep his promise to her. she trusted her brother to some extent but knew that her older brother did have a tendency to lie. he always lied about how he felt or how he was doing, why wouldn't he lie about taking his medication? jia knew wonwoo for practically all her life; the senior was like another older brother to her which is why she felt she could confide in him last week when she told him about jun. "when'd she even tell you?"
                          
"does that even matter? what matters is that you get your ass back home and start taking them again. stop being such an idiot jun and open your eyes." wonwoo grumbled harshly, very annoyed with jun for being so irresponsible. he hated when jun did irrational things like skipping out on his pills for example because the purple haired student knew better than to do that. he expected more of jun in a way because of how long jun had been responsible for taking his pills.
                          
however, wonwoo's words did little to convince jun otherwise. the purple haired student was adamant on his ways and was very offended that wonwoo of all people didn't understand why he was doing what he was doing. for someone who knew him for as long as the ravenette did it was quite stunning that he didn't know anything about jun. 
                          
"why don't you open your eyes?" jun glared at wonwoo with a great fire in his eyes. he was sick of people telling him how he should and shouldn't act. his mom was on one shoulder, breathing down his neck about being responsible and mature and here wonwoo was on his other shoulder doing almost the exact same thing. it seemed like neither of them cared at all about why jun was doing what he was doing which frustrated him even more. above all else he even had the pressure of being a good role model for his siblings on his back as well. everywhere he turned he just couldn't catch a break. "I hate living on eggshells, constantly having to worry about if me sneezing too hard sets off my heart. well obviously I'm exaggerating but you get what I mean. everything is getting to be too much for me and I just want to step back and take a breather."
                          
"so you retaliate by not taking your meds and potentially sentencing yourself to death rather than just telling everyone that? that's obviously very logical jun, no really it is." wonwoo scoffed. jun had a habit of keeping things like this to himself and it was one of the things his best friend hated about him. he hated when the purple haired individual kept his troubles to himself, especially since jun was always there for him. he wanted to be there for his best friend the same way jun was always there for him, except jun never gave him the opportunity to do so. "I think it's nice to know that you would rather die from lack of medication than come to talk to our friends, or even me. I thought we were better than that."
                          
"it has nothing to do with you or the others wonwoo, you're taking it too personally." 
                          
"clearly it has nothing to do with me at all seeing as you basically want nothing to do with me. I'm here for you you know that and yet you make it very difficult to be there." jun sighed. he thought if anyone were to be on his side it would be wonwoo seeing as he was his best friend. jun didn't care if wonwoo had a point to what he was saying, he just wanted someone to be on his side. he didn't want to have to defend his point to yet another person, he was done with that. "I'm done talking about this wonwoo."
                          
"we're not done talking about this, we're going to go tell your mom and then she's going to knock some sense into you for being such a fool and not taking your-" wonwoo raised his voice, calling attention from the students who loved to loiter in the hallways during their lunch period. they had never seen the ravenette so worked up before since the grumpy senior usually expressed as little emotion as possible as to not stand out too much (wonwoo preferred blending in to being a colorful character like seokmin or mingyu). 
                          
wonwoo raising his voice caused for jun to burst out as well. he had never been so agitated before by the ravenette but now something about wonwoo putting pressure on him just made him snap. if the students around them weren't secretly eavesdropping on their conversation before, they definitely were now because everyone's eyes were on jun as he yelled at his best friend. nobody knew jun was even capable of being something other than happy or excited so of course they all paid attention to this new change in the student's demeanor. "no we're not. this is none of your business wonwoo, leave me the fuck alone!"
                          
wonwoo had never fought with jun over something this serious before. the last time they fought was when they were in middle school and argued over a car lego set. jun had claimed wonwoo messed up all the hard work they spent on it when he had discovered it in shambles and wonwoo claimed the very same thing. in reality it was jia who had broken it, but the pair of best friends hadn't realized that until a week after their fight when she had bragged about it to the both of them. 
                          
because he had never really had a real fight about this before, the ravenette had no idea what to do or how to patch things up with jun. that day he just watched as jun stormed off, too surprised by how the chinese male yelled at him to respond. he regretted letting jun walk away from him yesterday because now the two were at a standstill where neither or them knew how to repair things. that led to wonwoo avoiding jun and jun not even attempting to try to speak to wonwoo.
                          
of course though their friends had no idea at all about their fight. mingyu noticed the tension between them but failed to comment on it, and joshua who was currently asking him for advice on what to do about jun had not the slightest idea about the now strained relationship between the two. wonwoo shook himself out of his flashback and looked to joshua. realizing that the senior was done speaking and awaiting wonwoo's response, the ravenette made a move to speak to him. jun said it was none of his business and going behind his back to tell joshua would just make the chinese student hate him more. that was why wonwoo turned to the brunette with a very stern face and spoke calmly. "nothing's wrong with jun and if there was something wrong I wouldn't know."
                          
= = =
chapters might get a little longer because I kinda realized I've been dragging this book out for too long... we may be nearing the end of this book within the next 20 chapters?!?! I have a few short stories and other book ideas planned (maybe even a oneshot book idk yet) and I want to start those when I finish this one!
                          
also thank you to anyone who wished me a good hiatus, I did get some of my school work sorted out although I'm still tired of going to meetings and being anxious during them :) I really missed updating and writing though so it's good to be back hahaha💕