I want nothing

                                    

                                          
Bailey tried to calm me down but she needed to hold my hand but if she did that she would mess up the scans. 
" okay Alexis I need you to calm down for me"she said as she grabbed my ankle. 
I took in a few deep breath's and the scans came up
Her C.T looks clear so there's no active bleeding Amelia discussed with Jackson.
"It's the depression and anxiety then" Jackson said 
"First let's make her eat something and if it doesn't work we will have to force in a feeding tube"he also added.
Jackson and Amelia both got out of their chairs and came in to help me get into my gurney bed. 
I was curled up into a ball the whole way back only looking down. 
I went back into my room and Jackson came with our food. 
Here he said hand bug me a cheeseburger,
I just looked at it but didn't take it but he placed it right in front of me, I turned my head into my pillow for a good 5 minutes. But I didn't sleep I was just praying that the guy can just go away. 
My eyes went blurry and I didn't blink, I was just breathing very heavily. 
Jackson looked into my face and touched my black circles underneath my eyes leading to my very appearing cheekbones. He told me that if I didn't eat right now he would have to force in a feeding tube down my nose. 
I didn't hesitate because he didn't feel the pain I'm feeling right now. 
"You have a choice, you can either eat and then happily go to sleep or we will have to sedate you and put in a feeding tube! Which one?" He told me so seriously 
" you don't get it " I whispered 
" get what?" 
"If I eat it will feel like he's punching me in the stomach and if I sleep I will have nightmares about him attacking me like he already did but worse 
and if you sedate me your not letting me rest your just hurting me more"
I replied back 
I tucked my head under the uncomfortable bed covers. 
He held my hand and asked " well then what do you want me to do? " 
" nothing, I want nothing "
 
Hey guys i hope you like my story 
I will try to continue it from here so stay tuned but I might most one tomorrow 🤩😔 
Okay luvs bye bye