Sakusa x Ushijma / Ushisaku

                                    

                                          
Sakusa: ....
                          
Ushijima: i-
                          
Atsumu: wait no no no, ushiwaka tryina steal my man!
                          
Ushijima: I have no intention of kidnapping Sakusa-San.
                          
Atsumu: I mean, good, but that's not really what i-
                          
Sakusa: What Atsumu means is that he's a-
                          
Yachi: yoU'RE ON A FIRST NAME BASIS WHY AREn'T YOU DATING?!
                          
Atsumu: YES EXACTLY also who are ya?
                          
Oikawa: GOOD TAKE USHIJIMA HE'S NOT WANTED HERE-
                          
Atsumu: I'm sorry who the fuck are ya?!
                          
Hinata: Ushiwaka and Sakkun are a couple??? BUT WHAT ABOUT 'TSUMU-KUN I DON'T UNDERSTAND-
                          
Sakusa: I'm not dating either of them. I'm fucking single. 
                          
Atsumu: Let's change that *winks badly*
                          
Sakusa: It didn't work before, it's not going to work now.
                          
Atsumu: YA COULD AT LEAST GIMME SOME CREDIT THAT WAS SMOOTH AS FUCK-
                          
Ushijima: I'm sorry but I have no interest in Sakusa-San romantically...
                          
Hinata: Is ushijima even capable of romance???
                          
Kageyama: Are You A Total DipShit You Don't Just Ask People Shit Like That You Dumbass.
                          
Yachi: no no, he might have a point. Ushijima-san, are you ace?
                          
Ushijima: Yes, I like to think so.
                          
Yachi: wait for real???
                          
Ushijima: Kageyama-San, am I the ace of our team?
                          
Kageyama: that's not what- I mean yes, you are but-
                          
Saeko: I swear to fuckin' god everyone here is dense as a goddamn brick.
                          
Tanaka: for once I'm inclined to agree with this old bat-
                          
Saeko: I'm talking about you too Ryu. Call me an old bat again and I'll break your face.
                          
Tanaka: YOU'RE NOT MY MOM-
                          
Saeko: I'M YOUR OLDER SISTER IT'S BASICALLY THE SAME THING. NOW WILL YOU SHUT UP WE'RE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THIS GUY'S SEXUALITY.
                          
Tsukki: yeah tanaka shut up. 
                          
Saeko: STEP THE FUCK OFF I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS TO TELL MY BROTHER TO SHUT UP ASSHOLE.
                          
Yachi: Can we get back to Ushijima? I'm just wondering. Do you like guys or girls? Or both? Or neither? Or does gender expression not really matter to you? Does sex sound appealing or gross? What about romance-
                          
Ushijima: I-....
                          
Tendou: Yacccchhhii-saaaaan! You're stressing him out. He gets scared when people ask him too many questions and he doesn't have time to answer them all.
                          
Yachi: that's actually...really cute....
                          
Tendou: I know right he's adorable.
                          
Yachi: Ugh, you're so lucky Ushijima-San is your best friend. I would kill to have a best friend that cute.
                          
Hinata: exCUSE ME-
                          
Yachi: I SWEAR I'M NOT SAYING YOU'RE NOT CUTE YOU'RE JUST A DIFFERENT KIND OF CUTE LIKE NOT WHOLESOME CUTE BUT ATTRACTIVE CUTE-
                          
Ushijima: So you think I'm not attractive?
                          
Yachi: THIS IS GOING REALLY BADLY SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME-
                          
Unicorn-Flowers: I've got your back luv. Let's stop torturing Yachi and get some ratings, how bout that?
                          
Atsumu: 0.10/10
                          
Sakusa: You really are a jealous bitch. Also you don't need that trailing zero on the 0.1. 
                          
Atsumu: One, i grew up with a twin brother. I'm jealous a everyone fer everythin' ya know this already. Two, I'll add however many zeros the fuck I want thanks.
                          
Saeko: 6/10, it's cute but there are better matches for Sakusa-San. 
                          
Sakusa: You don't even know me. 
                          
Saeko: I think I can guess. Asshole with exactly one (1) emotional brain cell, you're cold to everyone you meet and you wouldn't be able to maintain a functioning relationship to save your life. 
                          
Atsumu: the funny thing is she's right-
                          
Sakusa: I'll literally kill you. I know of seven different types of poison that don't show up on autopsies. 
                          
Atsumu: I hope fer yer sake ya clar yer search history.