Chapter Four

                                    

                                          
When I walked downstairs the next morning, I did not allow myself to look at Will. He was sitting at the kitchen table with Charlotte while Cecily stood over the stove and was flipping pancakes. I had not slept well all night; I hadn't been able to believe that I was now living with my greatest enemy. It doesn't matter, I told myself as I greeted Cecily and Charlotte and poured myself a cup of coffee, you don't even have to talk to him.
                          
"How was your first night back in London, Tessa?" Cecily asked cheerily.
                          
"Good." I lied, not wishing to tell her the truth. She would certainly ask me why. "It feels nice to be back here. I missed it more than I had thought."
                          
"What are you going to be studying in college, Tessa?" Charlotte asked curiously as she sipped her own coffee.
                          
"Law." I replied. "I want to become a lawyer."
                          
At that, I heard Will scoff and I couldn't help but glance over at him. He was staring right at me and something within me jolted at the intensity of his gaze. He was still dressed in the same clothes he had arrived in the night before, and he was looking at me with pure mockery; I knew exactly why. Will had always wished to become a lawyer as well, and it had been something that we had often argued about -- about who would one day become the better lawyer. I couldn't deny the fact that Will would be a good lawyer one day, he was extremely quick witted and sharp. 
                          
"I thought you would have given that up by now." Will commented dryly. 
                          
"And I didn't think you would even graduate high school but here we are." I shot back. 
                          
Will glared at me and I only matched it. Charlotte was glancing between us with a bit of curiosity, and I figured that she must wonder why Will and I despised each other so much. I don't even think that Cecily understood why. 
                          
"Will took a year off." Cecily changed the subject. "He's only beginning his first of college this year, just like you, Tessa."
                          
Will and I then locked gazes as we both realized the same horrible fact; we would indeed have many classes together. The law program at the college we were attending was small and it was pretty much guranteed that we would be placed in the same classes. 
                          
"I want to switch out." Will spoke at once. 
                          
"Good. Law was probably never for you anyways." I replied back smoothly, trying to hide the shakiness of my voice. I didn't want to have him near me everyday at school.
                          
Will narrowed his eyes at me. "Such big words from someone who runs away from things when they get hard."
                          
Everything in my being froze at his words and for a moment I was left speechless. I knew exactly what Will had meant by his statement. I knew that he was referring to what had happened three years ago -- the thing that no one but him and I knew about him. I felt like all of the air had been sucked out of my lungs; I had never spoken about it aloud with anyone before -- had never even had anyone mention it. I only thought of it when I had nightmares about it and would wake up in a cold sweat. 
                          
"I didn't run." I finally managed to say, cringing at the weakness in my voice. "I didn't think you remembered -- that."
                          
Will's blue eyes burned into my own grey ones. "I never forget anything."
                          
"What are you two talking about?" Cecily asked curiously. 
                          
I had momentarily forgotten that Cecily and Charlotte were also in the kitchen, and I hastily looked away from Will, feeling angry. How dare he throw that in my face, as if he wasn't just as responsible as I was for what happened. 
                          
"Nothing." Will told his sister, emotionless. 
                          
Cecily looked as if she wanted to press further but I left before she could say anything. I walked up to my bedroom and closed the door, my body feeling strange. Memories and images flashed in my mind and I was unable to stop them; guilt washed through my body as I recalled what Will and I had done and I sat down on my bed. We didn't mean it, I tried to calm myself down, I didn't mean to do it. And it was true -- that was the only thing that ever made me feel better about it. I didn't know how long I stayed in my bedroom for, until I heard Cecily calling me to come downstairs. I begrudgingly got up and made my way downstairs and into the living room. Cecily and Charlotte were sitting there, along with Will who I did not look at, and another boy.