I stood in the doorway of the kitchen clutching tightly to a glass of wine as I watched Charlie pull the turkey from my mother's oven. His hands were so strong as he placed it on the marble countertop. My mother stood next to him pulling the cutlery from one of our drawers. They talked animatedly, both smiling and laughing casually. They clearly enjoyed each other's company. I turned my head around and watched as my older sister Maggie set the dining room table with our mother's nicer glassware, saved for holidays. My nephew Benjamin was completely enthralled by the Thanksgiving Day parade. I watched the screen intently, knowing this time next year I could watch the parade from New York itself after making my firm decision to move. Things would be drastically changing in the next few months, I wouldn't be standing in this entryway anymore. I'd be in my own apartment soon enough, one I would share with Charlie.
I turned back towards the kitchen to watch my chef some more. Charlie had single handedly prepared our entire meal, my mother had never been more thankful in her life. Our Thanksgivings had always been small since it had been just the three of us for so long, with the occasional addition of Julia. She never had to slave over a stove for too long but she was thrilled to have Charlie take over for her; I knew she was excited to eat his cooking. Charlie suddenly looked up from the stove and smiled broadly at me. Tears instantly began to form in my eyes because of how much adoration I felt towards him. Only a couple months ago I would have cringed at the thought of choosing Charlie over Eric, but now I couldn't imagine myself any place else.
Eric and I hadn't spoken since our early morning conversation on Tuesday. I didn't want to speak to him. I knew I owed him a debt of gratitude for giving my future employer, the New York Times, such a positive reference but I found myself unable to dial his number. I was unwilling to speak to him again. I desperately wanted to erase all memory of him and completely move on with my life. I had to force more tears away since I knew that was a feat so much easier said than done. Part of me would always wonder what kind of future I could have had with Eric. He had signed divorce papers for me, he had given what he promised. I had been too reluctant to fully accept his offer. I couldn't stand hurting Charlie.
Now that I had chosen my fate, I had the unbearable dilemma of deciding whether I would tell Charlie the truth about my tryst with his greatest friend. Though I had been fearful before, I knew Eric would never tell his friend the truth. I knew Eric cared too much for both of us to destroy him like that. I knew I could keep this secret forever if I wanted to do but even thinking the words made me feel like the cruelest villain. Charlie deserved so much better than how I was treating him, I didn't know why I could tell myself that countless times and still not tell him the truth.
I gulped another sip of wine as I heard a sporadic knock at the front door. Julia. I hadn't told her about my new job yet. I knew she'd be ecstatic for me but I was still anxious about parting ways. We had been through so much together and I couldn't imagine starting another chapter of my life without her being in the bedroom next door. I pulled the door open for Julia and she hugged me tightly. We had been unsure if she would come to Thanksgiving this year because we could never predict where her family would be. Her older brother Henry was unable to leave his midterms at NYU despite the holiday, and her parents had decided to forgo any festivities and travel straight to Europe instead. My family was always delighted to have her with us. I hugged her tightly, finding it really difficult to contain my emotions. Julia stared at me knowingly as she pulled off her coat. She almost always knew exactly what I was thinking and right now she knew I was hiding an enormous secret. I squeezed her hand firmly and led her to my childhood bedroom. I closed the door behind us and took a deep breath before drinking another swig of wine.
"What the hell is going on Ella?"
I set down my glass and gazed at my best friend. Even though I wouldn't be moving until after Christmas, knowing I would be leaving her made me not want to leave at all. She had been closer to me than my own sister at times, she had guided me through every milestone of my life since grade school. I couldn't make any further decisions without her. I didn't want to try.
