[f] The "I Love You" Pt. 2

                                    

                                          
Imagine type: fluff / angst 
                          
Warning: it's still winter😾 but also curse words and also unedited heh
                          
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It had been almost a month since your last encounter with JJ and things hadn't gotten any better. Not willing to talk to you, you felt isolated now that you weren't involved in his everyday life. 
                          
The humiliation from that one night might as well have drowned you and every time you thought about it, you cringed a little. 
                          
You tried to find JJ to talk with him, but you had barely seen him at all in the past few weeks, aside from school, and even then, you guys didn't share any classes. 
                          
The situation felt almost surreal. How had you let, possibly, the most important person in your life slip out so easily and so quickly? 
                          
You hadn't been lying when you told JJ you loved him. Your feelings had been nothing but sincere and you'd be lying if you said you didn't still feel the same way. 
                          
The snow crunched underneath your shoes and the sight of the cafe took you back to that night. Walking in, you crossed the area to the back, taking the same booth you both had before. 
                          
In an odd way, it helped you to feel closer to JJ. 
                          
You ordered the exact same thing as before, hot chocolate with extra marshmallows. Your mind wandered as you watched the marshmallows melt in the hot cocoa. 
                          
Did JJ still think about you? Why had he reacted so badly? Was it something you did? 
                          
You felt a headache coming on, but it was all too normal now, so you pulled out the Tylenol you kept in your bag, swallowing one. 
                          
You sensed someone in front of you and you looked up to see the one person you somehow did and did not want to see. 
                          
His cheeks were a soft pink, probably from the cold, and his tuque failed to hide his messy, blonde hair. 
                          
He looked at you with a mixture of guilt and sorrow, for some reason, and he seemed expectant, as if you were to automatically to invite him back in your life again. 
                          
"Are you gonna sit?" You asked coldly and looked back down to your mug. 
                          
"I was hoping we could talk somewhere else," JJ suggested and you sighed, but agreed nonetheless, quickly paying for your drink. 
                          
Leaving, you and JJ walked side by side, though with a noticeable distance between the two of you. 
                          
"Why did you want to talk?" You immediately asked, shoving your hands in your pockets. 
                          
"You know why," JJ replied. 
                          
"Actually, I don't know anything," you argued. "I don't why you want to talk and I don't- I don't know why you walked away from me." 
                          
The tension in the air lays thick and no one seemed to say anything to change that. 
                          
"Let's sit," JJ suggests and gestures towards a wooden bench. You give in and take a seat, your legs freezing and the frozen bench wasn't a big help either. 
                          
"Feel like explaining?" You ask. 
                          
"It's a bit of a long story." 
                          
"Maybe it would be shorter if you hadn't avoided me for so long," you muttered. 
                          
"I needed time," JJ reasoned, his voice rising a little, but he still wanted to be heard. 
                          
"I understand, but you left me completely clueless," you spat. "I felt so guilty after that day, thinking I had done something." 
                          
JJ avoided eye contact with you. Clearly he hadn't expected you to lash out as much as you were, but you couldn't help it. 
                          
"I thought things would be okay, until you decided to completely cut yourself off-" but you didn't get to finish. 
                          
"The reason I walked away is because I love you," JJ announced and you froze, not from the cold, that is. 
                          
"I'm sorry?" You mumbled. 
                          
"I love you, but I'm also terrified," JJ explained and all you could do was listen. "I'm so fucking scared because I can't handle my feelings." 
                          
You felt your anger vanish as you listened to JJ more and more. 
                          
"I've never felt this way for anyone," he continues. "I was scared that I was going to get attached and then I would lose you, but I ended up almost losing you anyways." 
                          
"Almost?" 
                          
"Things aren't the same yet, but you have to believe me when I say I'm sorry and I want to fix things," JJ apologized and though you knew he was being genuine, you couldn't help but think. 
                          
"You can't just walk out of my life and then walk right back in," you shook your head, in disbelief. 
                          
"I can try." 
                          
"Then you better try real hard." 
                          
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Not me saying this chapter would be better when it's literally NOT 
                          
I feel like this might have been too dramatic like should y/n have been like "what's up, what took you so long" idrk 
                          
this is unedited as you might've guessed so I'm sorry for that eheh
                          
OMG ALSO we're almost at 10k reads WHAAATT THANK YOU<3