Chapter 12

                                    

                                          
"I told you already. Akaashi is meant to be my best friend, not my boyfriend. And that's-" The pair walked into the kitchen. My eyes were wide, Akaashi looked terrified. ".. that."
                          
"You dated Bokuto?"
                          
akaashi's p.o.v.
                          
I looked into Y/N's wide eyes, unable to speak. What do I say? What can I say?
                          
"I forgot you guys were in here. Akaashi... I didn't know you hadn't told her. I'm sorry." 
                          
The only thing I could do was stand there, chills running through my body. Why is this happening?
                          
"We can talk about this later. Akaashi, sit down, you look pale." Y/N took a hand of mine, placing another on my shoulder. She gently pushed me down so I sat on the floor. Instinctively I hugged my knees to my chest and put my head down.
                          
"I'm sorry," I heard Bokuto whisper before footsteps retreated. Not long after I heard another set of footsteps leave as well. 
                          
"I-I can leave, too, if you want," she said softly. If we don't talk about this now I'm going to regret it.
                          
"Over a year ago..."
                          
"You don't have to. I just want to make sure you're okay." Her hand touched mine. How could I not be honest with her?
                          
It was middle school and I had to choose what high school I wanted to go to. I was considering Fukurodani. It seemed interesting and a friend of mine wanted to check it out, so I agreed to take a tour and check out the volleyball team during a practice match. I walked into Fukurodani's gym and immediately I was captivated watching a first year with golden eyes. He had such a big personality, very much unlike my own . He spoke to me after the match, asking my position and then asking me to practice with him for a bit. I remember thinking 'Wow, he's strong. He's a star.'
                          
A few months later when high school started, he was adamant about becoming my friend. Admittedly, I took a liking to him. I mean, of course I did. He was everything I wasn't. It didn't take long for us to get close, eventually leading to him asking me out within the first month of school. He was a good boyfriend, and I liked him. I thought that would be enough. We dated for a couple months. He was my first kiss. I knew in my soul that we were meant to be by each other's side. And it wasn't like I didn't have romantic feelings toward him, at first. But something told me we weren't supposed to be together in that way. I started distancing myself from the relationship and he noticed immediately. A few days passed by until he pulled me aside after a practice.
                          
"Akaashi, do you hate me?" His eyes were sad, his voice trembled. I knew at that moment I never wanted to see him like that again.
                          
"Bokuto-san.." 
                          
"You do, don't you?"
                          
I explained to him my feelings and he took it well. We agreed to break up, but I could tell he wasn't a fan of the idea. I felt horrible for hurting him. I respected him for acting so maturely. Things were off for a while. In the end, we ended up with a close friendship and nothing more after.
                          
"I wasn't sure how to tell you all this, or how you would react."
                          
"I am so sorry." I looked up to see her staring at the ground.
                          
"For what?"
                          
"That you felt like you couldn't trust me with that." She looked up, her e/c eyes looking into mine. "Did you think I would be upset? Or that I would dislike you?" I turned away from her gaze, embarrassed. I don't know what I thought. "It doesn't matter to me if you've dated hers, hims or theys. It doesn't matter to me if you've dated 10 people or none at all. Nothing about your past would change what I think about you. Unless you've murdered someone."