chapter twenty two

                                    

                                          
Spencer's POV:


I spent the night at Vanessa's, barely able to sleep. I laid next to her, listening to her breathing, thinking back to the night I came face to face Lukas. Reliving the moment my bullet hit his head. The second the life left his eye, and his body hit the ground. Did I miss the execution shot? Did I aim incorrectly? The chances of surviving a bullet to the head are less than five percent. And Lukas Elwood shouldn't deserve to be in that percentile. I rolled over in bed, feeling my rage burn, spying Vanessa through the dark. I'm not going to let him get to her. Not ever again. 
•••
The next day I sat in the SUV, silent. Lost in the far away thought of my failed shot. 
"That's the second time I set you up for a Star Trek quote today and you let it slide. Where's your head at?" Morgan asked setting his coffee in the cup holder.
"Lukas Elwood." He glanced to me behind his shades. "He woke up in the hospital yesterday. He survived my shot to the head." There was a long beat. I felt him shift, avoiding his eye. 
"Does Vanessa know?"
"She's the one who told me." 
"How's she taking it?" 
"She has anxiety, PTSD, experiencing the normal reaction to an event as life altering as this. She's scared." I felt my throat closing so I cleared it, tucking my lips. "I'm scared." 
"Kid, he's going to jail, for a long time. There's nothing to be scared of." 
"No, I'm scared for Nessa...The man she's feared for years, stalks and finds her, forces her into relapse. Dies. Just to come back to haunt her. She was given this, idea of freedom, just to have it yanked away. Again." There was a moment of silence. "I can't believe I missed that shot.."
"You didn't miss, kid. You hit him. He just, got lucky."
"I don't believe in luck." Morgan rolled his eyes my way. "All you can do is be there, Reid. Be there for her, be with her, hear her. Make her feel safe, and understood." I lift my head. "You be there." 
He was right. I needed to get my head straight if I was going to help her, if I was going to be there for her. It was my turn to be the protector. 
•••
That night I got to Vanessa's all the lights were off, it was silent and cold. She had the AC on 62°. I pushed open the bedroom door, empty. I circled back into the living room and stopped. I found her, cocooned under a blanket on the couch. Olive was circled up at her feet. I got down to her level, sitting onto the floor just to look at her. I moved the bangs across her face, her ivory skin illuminated the darkness around us. Her eyes fluttered open, empty. I swallowed. 
"Hey." I could barely talk, the lump forcing its way back up my throat. My fingertips tracing the side of her sullen face. She didn't speak. "Everyone's asking about you, they're worried." I stroke her gently, desperately wanting her to feel, something. "Did you take your meds?" I ran my fingers across her face, getting no response. I turned to the coffee table picking up the unopened bottle of meds in my hands. I crack it open, dumping two pills into my palm. Grabbing the glass of water I'd set on the side table this morning. She didn't move. "Ness." I beg. Memories of the years with my mom came flashing forward. "Please." Her eyes met mine as she slowly rose. She took the pills, set the water on the side table, and laid back down. Unchanged, still empty. I felt the life drain from my body. Watching her there, like that. It affected me more than she knows. I sniffle, standing, lifting Vanessa bridal style and carrying her to the bedroom. I laid her down, pulling the blanket up over her while she lay in the fetal position. Olive touched the bed, resting between us as I climb in. I lifted Nessa in my lap, cradling her in the dark, in silence. Feeling her against my chest, until I heard the gentle sobs muffled against my vest.
"You're okay, I got you." I tucked her deeper into me, stroking her hair. Promising myself I'd never let her go.