Chapter 26

                                    

                                          
"When will you be back again?" 

                          
"This is the last time I am telling you rooh. I will be back in 1 week." 

                          
"Okay. Okay. I was just confirming." 

                          
Then he didn't say anything and sat on my bed while I packed my stuff. 

                          
Today was our last exam. We got few days in our hands before we all leave for our trip to shimla and dharmshala. I decided to visit my family. It's been 6 months since I last went home and I miss them a lot so I decided to go because after our trip I will again get consumed by the work of college as it would be the starting of new semester then from April I will go to Bangalore for my internship. 

                          
The last whole month went in just studying till late at night, taking classes in slums, preparing for the coming inter college competition season and many business competitions too. But that's what MBA life is all about. You get grind till there is no ounce of energy left in you. That's what makes it the most remembering journey of your life and I am enjoying each and every second of it. 

                          
"Rooh. Stop frowning now please." I said once I was done with all my packing. I walked to him and straddle his lap. He snorted but didn't smile. 

                          
"I am not frowning ." 

                          
"Then your probably your face has this permanent frown attached to it." 

                          
He didn't react at my comment and looked away from me. I sighed knowing fully that he does not like the fact that I am going and that's making me mad. We are not anything more than friends–well we haven't talked about where we stand so still friends– and he is trying to control me. It's not that he exactly deter me from going or raised any questions but his moody attitude told me he doesn't like the fact that I am going. And this is making me mad. 

                          
"You know what. Just go to your room. I can't stand you when you are trying to interdict my freedom." I stood up from his lap and wrapped my arms around myself in order to keep myself a little warm without his warmth near me. The cold season is at it's peak for this month and getting even worse by each passing day. 

                          
"I am what." He stood up too and looked at me with incredulous look. 

                          
"Yes. That's what your reaction is telling me at least. We are not even in relationship and you are trying to control my actions. I am not a puppet rooh who will work as you want it to be. I too have emotions and they need confirmation of our current status but I never broached that topic with you. I gave you your space to think what you want us to be. I expect the same from you too but here you are behaving like an ass about me visiting my family." 

                          
I tend to make bad decisions when I am on my periods but this must be the worst decision because I didn't want to come out as that clinging girl and force him to say that we are in relationship just because we kiss or make out or do something a little more than that. This is one of the many reasons why I never mentioned to him  that our obscure status —of where we stand— hurts me. Another reason is that I am not sure of his emotions and afraid to the core to get reject again by someone and this time the feelings are on the deeper level and I know the damage will be more intense than before. That's why I decided to not mention anything about giving our relationship a name. But now it's all in history as I blabbered it out, all of it. 

                          
"You are still not sure about my feelings towards you?" He asked and walked near me. A look of hurt was on his face. 

                          
"Actions talk but I need confirmation to secure my heart that yes it is not a one side thing like last time." 

                          
The distance between our bodies were of mere 2 feet but emotionally I felt like we're standing world apart and I don't like that feeling at all. I always want us to be on the same side and most of all together.