Trying to be brave

                                    

                                          
It had been two weeks since the big revelation. Alec was doing a lot better. He no longer felt jittery around Andrew, though he still felt like looking at him and it didn't help that Andrew seemed to move around Alec a lot. But Alec was stronger than that. He knew he had to avoid him, for himself, for his own good. On top of that, there was someone helping out Alec. With his form-fitting clothes, his graceful movements, his smooth voice and calm demeanour, Magnus had no idea what effect he was having on Alec. Alec thought Andrew could go to hell. He could stare at Magnus all day. Magnus was different for him. Was he crushing on him? Maybe, but it was different. He didn't feel afraid like he did for Andrew. He wanted to know him, he wanted to talk to him. He was not afraid that Magnus wouldn't be the same as he thought him to be. He was not afraid that he would be exactly like how he thought him to be and then he would like him more. Though he was afraid of getting rejected, but somehow he felt like he wanted to take the chance. Alec couldn't really put a finger on why he felt like this, why his feelings for Magnus were so different than those for Andrew. Maybe he still had a lot to figure out about feelings and emotions.
                          
All this while Alec had been talking to Izzy regularly but he didn't tell her anything about Magnus or Andrew. And as Izzy had promised that she wouldn't ask him anything, she didn't bring up the topic as well. Now that Alec was planning to talk to Magnus, to tell him he liked him, he wanted Izzy's advice but he was too embarrassed to do so. He knew she would get all excited and that would make him more nervous than he actually was. He finally decided that he would only tell Izzy if it went somewhere. So he spent a week thinking about what he would say. He even wrote down what he wanted to say, making small drafts on his laptop. 
                          
Draft 1
                          
Hey Magnus! I know we have never talked before but I like you. And its not just because of how good you look, I really admire you and I could list all the things I like about you but that would take up all day. 
                          
'Ugh no that's weird.' Alec thought.
                          
Draft 2
                          
Magnus you seem like a wonderful person and I wanted to know you more than your name and how you look. 
                          
'Ew'
                          
Draft 3
                          
Hey Magnus! I'm Alec by the way. We are in the same class. I like you. A lot. My day gets better every time I see you.
                          
'No way'
                          
Draft 4
                          
You have something about you, you know. I can't really say what it is but I feel drawn to you. Do you mind going out for coffee sometime?
                          
'Can I even pull that off?'
                          
Draft 10
                          
Why on earth are you looking at me? I want to know. I deserve to know.
                          
'Shit'
                          
Draft 11
                          
Hey! I wanted to talk to you if you don't mind. I don't know if you have noticed but I kind of like you. I know we have never talked before, so we don't even know each other, but I would like to know you. Of course, if you want to. No hard feelings if you don't.
                          
'Hmm this is probably better. I could say this I guess.'
                          
Alec read the last lines over and over, trying to memorise them. He prepared to sleep, trying to imagine the conversation he would have with Magnus. Maybe he could wait outside class till he came. He could then, pull him away from his friends and talk to him. He couldn't possibly talk to him in front of his friends. Or maybe he could wait after classes were over and then talk to him. No that would be tricky. He headed back with Jace and Aline, and he didn't want to tell them to go because he wanted to confess his feelings for Magnus. So he had to do it before class. But then if Magnus refused, it would be awkward to sit in class for that long. Then he remembered that there was a class that Magnus and Alec didn't have in common. He could wait outside that class till Magnus came, talk to him and leave feeling less awkward if he got rejected. Luckily that class was actually the last one. Alec didn't have his last lecture the next day but Magnus did. He knew that because Jace was in the same class. Oh Shit Jace. He had to avoid from being seen by Jace but that wouldn't be so difficult as Jace went to class early and Magnus generally showed up a little later. But what about Aline? He would have to give some excuse to Aline for not accompanying her to the crossroads. 
                          
'Tomorrow would be one hell of a day'
                          
And it was. He had back to back classes. That didn't stop him from playing his planned conversation with Magnus in his head. He kept glancing at his watch, not listening to half of the things being taught. Soon his classes were over and he prepared himself for what he was about to do.
                          
"Ready to go?" Aline asked.
                          
"Um actually I had to go to the library."
                          
"Really Alec? You need more books?"
                          
"Yeah there was this topic I wanted to read more on."
                          
"Of course you do. Its okay I can accompany you."
                          
"What? Why?"
                          
"Because you are my friend and I don't like walking back all the way alone."
                          
"It will take time though." Alec glanced at his watch. He had to get out of this situation.
                          
"That's fine with me. Come on lets go."
                          
Alec sighed. He started walking with Aline thinking of some other excuse.
                          
"Could you wait for a while? I need to go to the washroom."
                          
"Oh okay. I'll be at the library."
                          
"Great! See you there."
                          
Finally, he got his chance. He almost ran to Magnus' class. There was still time. He could still meet Magnus. He could do what he waited for so long. He had to do it. Fortunately, he was on the same floor as the class was, so reached pretty quick. He peeped inside and looked if Magnus was already there, but he wasn't. Good, he was on time then. He popped his head back to the hall and turned towards the stairs. 'Shit.' Magnus was climbing up the stairs. He wore a dark green shirt with white jeans and white sneakers. A few chains hung on his neck, two rings on his right hand. He wore light pink lipstick and blue eyeliner. He ran his fingers through his spiked hair which had blue tips. It looked like a scene straight out of a movie, where the hot guy makes a dashing entrance, stopping everyone in their tracks. Well in this case, it was Alec.
                          
Alec stood there for a moment, processing what he was seeing, trying to recollect what he had prepared to say and before he could stop himself he strode towards Magnus. He had just reached the top of the flight of stairs, when Alec stopped right in front of him. He looked at Alec, clearly thrown off-guard. As his eyes met Alec's, Alec's brain short-circuited. Never had he seen such beautiful eyes. Magnus's eyes were somewhere in between gold and brown, it seemed like they were shifting colours. He was so lost, he didn't even notice Magnus' bewildered look. 
                          
"Do you like me?" Alec blurted out.
                          
"What?" There was surprise in Magnus' voice.
                          
"So you don't. That's okay. That's fine. Totally fine." And with that Alec stepped to the side and walked down the stairs.
                          
"Alexander." Magnus called.
                          
Alec stopped immediately. He hated being called by his full name, mainly because his parents called him that. But the way Magnus said it with his smooth and deep voice, it sent goosebumps through his body. He turned back stopping at the last step.
                          
"I didn't say I didn't like you." Magnus said softly.
                          
Alec just stared at him, waiting to hear something more. But Magnus just stood there looking back at him. He parted his lips a few times which made it seem like he wanted to say something but he didn't. Alec couldn't stand there any longer. He rushed down the next flight of stairs and out of Magnus' sight.
                          
_
                          
Magnus stood there unable to move. He was still processing what had just happened. He was a spontaneous guy but he was totally not prepared for this. He never thought Alec would approach him like this. Alec, the blue eyed, dark haired, tall, confident and composed guy. He wanted to say it but he couldn't. He didn't know why. Alec left him a little speechless, a little shaken. He didn't know how to say what he felt. He walked to his class and sat at his usual place, still thinking about the surprise he got a few minutes back, cursing himself internally for not saying what he had wanted to say for so long. 
                          
'I didn't say I didn't like you.' Magnus closed his eyes remembering what he said. 'What was that? Couldn't I come up with something better? Couldn't I have said the truth?' He sighed.
                          
'Yes I do. I do like you, Alexander. I have liked you for a over a year now. You have no idea how much I like you.'