Des goutes de ..?

                                    

                                          
I do think about it, no one's an exception 
                          
The fear of being used, rejected and abandoned are obviously common and affects people in their relationships. Trust issues enters in that category too. That's just how I classed them. I saw somewhere that, the deepest you've ever been with someone is the most you've accepted of yourself. The most you've faced; some things you hide from everyone are things you find difficult to assume. I do think I'm not a good person and that humans are mostly disgusting. As much as we know that there are very nice people who are just wonderful, I'm not a part of them. It would be a real challenge for so much of us to be one of them. It's just way more nice to be like this. Not caring if I please anyone, not caring about a lot of things and just living my life. I know for fact that, that's just not the way things are supposed to be. Still, is there really some specific way life should be lived? I don't think so. As much as the universe made sense creating itself, there are still somethings that are hard to connect yet everything is tied together in some way.
I'll say it now, this string of thought started with Kuro. I'm sorry for him. 
                          
"I'm sorry do I know you?" The woman in front of me asked as she squinted her wrinkled eyes.
                          
"I don't know, do you know me?"I answered impulsively before receiving a strange glare that obviously meant, 'weirdo'. 
                          
"Kenma! Did you order yet?" Kuro and I decided to meet up here for no reason at all. 
                          
"Uh no"
                          
"Alright then I'll order with you"
                          
"I'll pay" We said in unison, both of us glaring at each other suspiciously. 
                          
"No I'll do it, you go pick a table" 
                          
"Mm nah, let's switch roles tell me what you want?"
                          
"..Ugh fine" 
                          
It was obviously Kuro's idea, he wanted to take me somewhere early in the morning with a coffee or a warm thing to eat. This coffee shop is pretty cute though I like it here. It's already winter and Kuro got better from his previous sickness. 
That reminds me...
                          
"Here, and here" Kuro interrupted my thoughts as he put my coffee on the table with something else. It was in a bag and he had one too. I gave him a questioning look. 
"It's your breakfast you must eat something Kenma" He replied to my unasked question with a raised eyebrow. 
                          
After eating he took my hand and we took the bus to an attraction park. 
Is this some sort of date? 
Does it even matter? 
My parents are already at home it's been a few days now, they're exhausting. 
My point is that they sure are gonna ask where was I this morning hehe. 
                          
"Wanna try this rollercoaster?" Kuro pointed at the highest and most famous one, obviously. I really like that kind of ride though, he knows me well. 
                          
"Snow is so pretty" I mumbled as we were already on the top, about to go down real quick. I admired the view until..I couldn't do anything else but enjoy the ride. 
Kuro sure liked it, that was obvious. 
                          
We tried a lot of different rides but the more time passed by, the more it got cold.
So he took me to his house and back hugged me until we laid on the couch cuddling each other. I was between his arms, on top of him on my back and he had his chin on my shoulder. 
One thing I don't like about back hugs is that he is too close to my neck. It's him, his hot breath tickles and I don't specially like it but it's fine sometimes. Kuro somehow really does know how to calm me down and make me feel safe, that's also the reason why I only accept his hugs. Hugging other people only feels uncomfortable. 
I leaned my head backwards, letting it rest on his shoulder as he tightened his grip around me. 
                          
"Hey Kuro.." He hummed in answer. "Don't you wanna sit? I'm bored and I'll feel more comfortable if I sit."
                          
"Mmkay" He mumbled as he sat up with me still on his lap. 
I started playing with his fingers, they're obviously longer than mine because he has bigger hands. Well, a bigger body in general let's say that. 
"Can I bite you" I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and hid a smirk. 
                          
"Yeah sure"I felt him straighten his back in surprise. 
                          
"Really?"
                          
"No you idiot, I was just kidding" 
                          
"Pfft no need to be so rude"
                          
"Then why even ask me that question? Wanna bite me? Go ahead I dare you." There was a silence until I felt heat coming closer to my neck and that's when I regretted the choice that I made. "W-wait on the neck?" I asked with a tiny voice. 
                          
"Mm yeah, your neck is smooth.."He said with his honey voice now close to my ear. My breathing came unsteady but I didn't move. I want this, I've been wanting this but is it right? 
"Can I?" He whispered centimetres close to my skin, I felt like I was trembling in anticipation. I didn't trust my voice so I gulped and nodded. "Hey, I can't take that, you have to speak" He whispered gently and hotly, I would be starting to sweat in seconds now. 
                          
"Eh haha nope" I changed my mind super quick this time. It has always been like this with me. Once I'm dangerously close of doing something 'like that' I back off at the last minute. That's how I only kissed one person on the lips in my whole life, that being my best friend when I was around four years old. 
                          
"Okayy" He whispered now nuzzling his face in the crook of my neck, it was relaxing. 
                          
"Why did you even do that? I mean it was biting me, right? On the shoulder, now why did you make it seem...sensual" I mumbled with a frown, I didn't really mean to let it escape my mouth but it happened. 
                          
"Kenma, sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable" He said, holding onto one of my hand, intertwining our fingers together making me look at him. We locked eyes and his glare really had me frozen. I couldn't get away, I couldn't think of anything else, just him, his eyes. My heart beating like crazy.
                          
Now what is this?
                          
1:06am