Chapter 20

                                    

                                          
💥ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ💥
                          
For some reason, Yoongi couldn't get himself to go to the cafe on Friday.
                          
It wasn't because of any work piles. Though, that's his excuse. Friday and Tuesday were the days Yoongi longed for the most. Those were the days he could talk to Namjoon without feeling restricted. Why would he suddenly feel uncomfortable going on those specific days? Maybe any day of the week as well? No music in any key could distract him from those questions.
                          
That irritated him. Yoongi was never the biggest fan of working, but this time he worked diligently just to try and distract himself. He mainly focused on coming up with a good enough beat to use for his project. Somehow though, he would get distracted like someone was ringing a bell next to his ear. 
                          
Yoongi leaned back in his chair and placed a hand on his forehead, his fingers slightly grazing through his blonde hair. It was around 23:20. The cafe was closed but was still open in his head. Everything that was happening between the workers was on his mind. It told him to solve its puzzle before moving on to doing something productive.
                          
Something about the whole situation and how Namjoon seemed to be caught in the middle of it pulled a cord in his chest. A minor chord, specifically. He was his friend, so of course he would empathize with him. It wasn't like that with his other friends though. All of them came and went like leaves in a year. What about him changed everything?
                          
What about him made Yoongi sad about the situation rather than angry?
                          
He wished he could just sleep it away. He's tried to more than once, but his mind keeps on racing about possibilities. Then once he thinks about those possibilities his brain immediately goes to Namjoon. It was too much to fall asleep to.
                          
It's been longer than a month of them meeting. Yoongi originally thought that Namjoon would be like everyone else he's met. Warm, happy, and cheerful. He was warm, yes, but he offered to share it. That's what made him different.
                          
That's what made Yoongi come back.
                          
That, and because the coffee tastes really good. But he knew it wasn't solely because of coffee. Not anymore.
                          
Maybe instead of trying to relate his thoughts into music, he could relate them into words.
                          
Yoongi grabbed a sheet of paper from a binder along with a pencil. He's written poems before. They've never been his top priority. He wanted to try it though. Namjoon took literature, so part of him hoped it wouldn't sound bad for that sake, but the rest knew that he would never show it to him no matter the quality. There was still that voice ringing in his head though. It sounded oddly similar to Namjoon.
                          
It took him a while to begin; to build up the courage he didn't know was lacking. Once he did, he felt no regret.
                          
'All around us is a maze, different paths
We're walking in this abyss
There's a thin light over there
I hope we're going toward paradise
Know this, sometimes lies will try to tear us apart
Hardships will try to deceive us but
Just focus on me then
In the darkness, just the two of us is enough
In all these lies
If we're together, even an endless maze is paradise'
                          
When the pencil left the paper, Yoongi's only thought was Namjoon.
                          
What he wrote. What his subconscious wrote, was all connected to Namjoon. Or at least, he thought so.
                          
He sighed and moved the paper away. Why was his mind only thinking about him? Well, topics that surround him. There are other things his mind could focus on, but it picked that.
                          
Yoongi thought people could control their brain.
                          
He knows the feeling of love. He's felt it too many times. It was like a rose blooming from the dirt. Maybe it was all confusing because Namjoon was watering the rose. Yoongi's used to people breaking the clouds and shining on it to dry the rain. Does that still mean it's love?
                          
Still mean. Has it always just been love?
                          
Yoongi didn't want to believe it. He wasn't straight. Soosoo had admitted to being pan to them before, which helped Yoongi realize he wasn't entirely straight either. They never told their parents because they knew that they wouldn't be too happy. It was a secret between siblings. What he couldn't believe is that all of this could possibly be from love.
                          
Only possibly. Because he still regrets the realization.
                          
💥💥