Chapter:18

                                    

                                          

Unedited...
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Clarissa stand there frozen to her place. She closed her eyes taking a deep breath. She crouched down for once she wanted to scream yell and break thing to let this anger or hurt or pain or whatever go. When will this stop? When will he understand? Or is it her who needs to understand? She could not comprehend what she is feeling this bitterness is spreading across her like a wild fire burning. 
She felt exhausted, all of this is getting out of hand. 
Sebastian took a seat in front of the steer wheel of the car feeling angry and annoyed a part of him wanted to just drive off leaving her there in the parking just so he could get away from this constant pull and push. He rubbed his face.
"What are you doing?" Sebastian asked as he was waiting for her to get inside the car but she remain seated in the middle of the parking lot.
"I don't know" her words came out in a third person's point of view. Clarissa rubbed her face before taking another deep breath this time a tear trailed down her cheek.
She chuckled this is great everything is messing with her emotions now. Sebastian walked out of his car and crouched down beside her before pulling her up in a bridal style holding her in his arms. She did not even struggled to get out of his arm.
Sebastian make her seat in the front seat before taking a sit in the car. He was staring outside.
"Can you this stop? I wanted this to stop" He asked or answered she does not know. 
"Stop?" Clarissa chuckled. Is this a joke he wanted to crack because she did not find it funny not even a bit.
Sebastian turn towards her.
"I know what you want but I can't.." He did not get to finish his sentence when she turn towards him.
"What I want Sebastian? Tell me? What exactly do I want?" She glare at him. Want? It's not about something as silly want. Does he think she will bet on his life for her want? 
"You want Noah" He glare back his eyes turning cold.
"You won't get him" He said coolly.
If only this was so easy. It's true that she wanted Noah to remember everything. The last two years without him was difficult no not difficult it was hell. 
But being with Sebastian she feel like herself again after such a long time. For that He does not need to remember. Even though a part of her ached to be with her Noah the man who has always silently stand behind her. Watching over her, loving her. If only it's about her own wants. But he needs to understand that remembering the past does not mean you will vanish. It does not mean you will sacrifice a part of yourself. She take a deep breath trying to relax arguing with him is not going anywhere. 
She turn stare at him as he stare ahead his hand clenching the car wheel. Let try to be the rational one for once. She give herself a pep talk.
"Sebastian?" Clarissa touched his hand, he turn to her staring at her. She tightly pulled his hand away before standing or bending inside the car. She went to his side seating on his lap putting her leg around him. Sebastian froze at her sudden move.
"W...What are you doing?" He asked clearly uncomfortable in the situation.
"Do you think it's easy?" She asked slowly.
"What?" He asked even more awkwardly before he relaxed and adjusted to his comfort.
"It's easy for me to do this" she asked her eyes filled with unwanted tears. She is tired of this, tired of this push and pull. Tired of looking at him not sensing the familarities.