45

                                    

                                          
TIME WAS A TRICKY thing. It passed too fast and too slow at the same time, even when you didn't want it to - especially when you didn't want it to. They say you grow stronger as it passes, like wrinkles are made of iron and your withered skin of steel. Mateo had known heartbreak before, had buried the fragments of himself seven feet under along with his father, but now when he was older, he didn't feel like a better man. No, when he heard the news it had stung just as sharply as before, like a knife in his throat.
                          
Their trip to the hospital was a haze of pain and screams, all the oxygen suddenly seeming to have disappeared. Gabriela was the only thing keeping him grounded, her hand in his, but when they arrived they couldn't even see him. Apparently he had put Jay down as his son in his phone, but seeing as the official papers never had went through, they weren't able to do more than stand there and shatter.
                          
Jay didn't speak a word during it all, not even as Sahar sat down in front of him, holding his hands in hers and crying for his loss. He sat frozen in the hospital chair, Mateo hyperventilating as Gabriela cupped his lips and nose with her palm, her voice slowly instructing him how to breathe. She whispered she was there with him over and over, until the haunting loneliness in his lungs settled in his stomach.
                          
"Should I call your parents?" a worried nurse said, lingering by the door of the waiting room.
                          
Jay was surprisingly the first one to speak up, blank gaze trained on the floor. 
                          
"I don't have any parents," he said.
                          
"You hurt me Jae-Soo."
                          
Jay didn't even freeze, eyes instead slowly wandering  to the man in the door opening, as if he had expected him to stand there. Ambassador Ryder's smile was as cold as ever, though now it almost even seemed... happy. No, he had to be wrong, there was no way he was looking joyful at a moment like this after all.
                          
"What are you doing here?" Jay said flatly, though it sounded like he already knew the answer.
                          
"I got called," the ambassador said with a shake of his head," a good friend of mine spotted you in the hospital and thought something might be wrong, so he let me know. Of course I dropped everything to come check in on you, I was so worried you got into an accident." 
                          
"An accident, huh?" Jay repeated.
                          
"Come on, Jae-Soo," the ambassador said, gesturing at the hallway," let's talk in private so you can fill me in on what's going on."
                          
For once Jay didn't protest, instead standing up, voice laced with venom.
                          
"Let's."
                          
"I'll come with," Mateo said resolutely.
                          
Though he refused to believe it, his intuition was telling him something was very wrong. That coupled with the knowledge that Jay's father was horrible to him certainly didn't make him want to leave his friend alone, even though he still felt emptier than he had in years. He was a hollow shell of a man, just on the verge of exploding.
                          
Jay didn't even protest about his offer, instead merely nodding to Mateo's surprise. Perhaps he was done with it all or perhaps he just didn't want to be alone, but his father didn't seem to mind either way. With a curt nod of his head he offered Mateo his political smile, reeking of corruption and cruelty.
                          
"You are the Martinez kid, are you not?" he said," I know you were close with the man as well. My condolences." When Mateo didn't reply he shrugged. "It's fine, Jae-Soo's best friend is always welcome." 
                          
Gabriela didn't say anything, instead squeezing in his hand before she let him go. He couldn't bring himself to squeeze back, even though she was the only thing keeping him from floating away with the wind. With a hazy mind he followed Jay and his father in the hallway, white noise crackling all around him. It was hard to decide whether he wanted to be alone or not, but he did realize he could under no circumstances leave Jay alone with his shitty father again.