Chapter 23 (Bonus Chapter)

                                    

                                          
*Suprise!*
                          
**(Edited)**
                          
Ellie's POV 
                          
I rub her back as she clutches onto my thighs and falls asleep in my lap. Watching my baby thinking about opening that bottle and ending her life killed me. I felt the air leave my lungs as I looked at her face and I knew her look, she was done. She wouldn't do it though, she's to considerate to think about hurting other people with her death.
                          
I know in my heart that Connor's not the reason for this, it's something else and I know she's stressed and she's hurt from him lying but, something up, this is so not the way my baby acts. She doesn't believe in killing people and I know she's depressed now that she told me. She covered it up very well though and I hate that I couldn't pick up on it.
                          
I saw the Whiskey and pills and I know she was going to do it that way if she could have got them open. I know her and she's smart, I don't understand why she's hurting this bad though, I guess because I'm not her. She doesn't need to even think about doing that though.
                          
"Baby, I'm sorry for not helping her sooner, we could have lost her and I didn't even know" I whisper to Tanner as I rub her arms and shoulders while wiping my tears away.
                          
"I don't know what to do, it's not your fault El, she's upset" he responds back while wiping his eyes, I know that if we would have found her hurt I would have lost it, my daughter can not and will not die as long as I have breath in my body.
                          
"Why do you think she was going to do it?" I ask as my voice cracks, I look down and massage her scalp as she sleeps.
                          
"She's not happy but, we need to teach her how to cope without doing this. I think it's time for her to move back in with us, she obviously needs to get her life together before she lives alone." He tells me as I nod. I didn't know she was hurting and I feel like shit but I knew she was in pain when she called me.
                          
I immediately went and got the car ready, and Tanner ran out of the house and sped all the way here for our daughter. Our daughter, she's not adopted in my heart, Tayson is my child and I love her. 
                          
"Okay, I just don't get it. Do you think it was him?" I ask as he shakes his head.
                          
"I know that boy and he loves her. She doesn't see it for how fucking stupid he is but I know he does, he reminds me of myself" he tells me as I wipe my face. 
                          
"Baby stop crying" he demands as he reaches back and rubs my knee under his hand. His hands are always the comfort I need and he knows it.
                          
"How can I? She's my daughter and she wanted to die, what did I do wrong?" I ask as he shakes his head and keeps driving. 
                          
"Ellie, you are a damn good mother and grandmother. You are the best fucking woman ever and don't you dare say that you aren't because you know you are" he tells me as he pulls his hand away.
                          
"I don't feel like it" I rasp out as she wiggles in my lap and sinks her head into my legs further. 
                          
"I don't feel like a good dad either but I knew something was wrong when she called me daddy. She hasn't done that since she was twelve, and I held that bottle and it freaked me out" he rasps out as I nod. She hasn't called him that in a long time, he was sad when she stopped but she said she grew up and he was her dad. 
                          
"Do you think she really meant to?" I ask as he cuts on the air conditioning and I grab a blanket and put over her practically naked body, she's in a sports bra and pajama shorts, it's usually what she wears to bed every night. I remember when she was young, she would dance on the table with nothing but her underwear on, she hated wearing her cute little girl shirts. She would always demand to wear her dad or brothers shirts so she could play with the boys. 
                          
"I don't think so baby. I just think we need to get her some help for feeling this way" he whispers out while turning left. 
                          
"I can't lose her" I rasp out as I rub my fingers through her honey and dirty blonde hair. I'm always loved her hair, it fits her perfectly and although she looks like Gillian, her texture and color is different. 
                          
"Baby, stop you're going to make yourself sick" he tells me as he rubs my knee and grabs tissues from the front console, being a grandma at such a young age in my opinion, I always have tissues and snacks in my car for my grandchildren, I mostly only see Eliza though since Turner's stuck in Texas with the boys.
                          
I wipe my face as I look down and wipe her face to, it's covered in mascara, and it's ran down her chin and neck from crying. She wiggles and falls back to sleep as I gently wipe the dried tears from her face. 
                          
~~~~
                          
"I'll take her upstairs can you grab her bag?" he asks as we pull into the garage and shut the car off. It's been a long few hours of driving and I'm ready to go to sleep but I know I won't as long as Tayson's not okay.
                          
"Yeah" I demand as he lifts her from my lap into his arms, he's still strong after all these years, and he's gotten hotter with his smile never fading. 
                          
I hop out and open the house door letting them in as I walk back to the car and grab her bag. I look down in it to see her phone, I know I shouldn't but I'm going through it. 
                          
She has endless missed calls from me, her dad and Connor. What shocks me though is that she doesn't have anyone else on here but her family. She has no friends at all. It's all of us and nobody else but, Avery and she's practically family anyway. 
                          
Her wallpaper is a picture of Roxie and Connor and her social media has one picture of her and Roxie, that's it. She's alone, that's why she hurts, she's alone.
                          
"What's going on?" I hear as I shut the latch and grab her bag. 
                          
"Look" I demand as I hand him her phone, he looks through it and says, "What's wrong with it?" as he searches through her photos and only finds the one of her and Roxie and then more photos of Roxie lying down and playing.
                          
"We both know that Tayson would have more than this, she's alone, all she has is her family and I think that's part of this. She thinks that nobody can love her but us." I tell him as we walk into the house. He sits her phone down on the countertop and puts it on charge while walking over to me.
                          
"I'm not going to fight you on this because I know I won't win. Goodnight, I love you and I know you won't be in our bed tonight, go make sure she's okay" he tells me as I nod, he knew I wasn't leaving her. 
                          
"I love you" I demand as I walk up to him and kiss him slowly. He kisses me back before tapping my butt and pulling away, I take her bag with me upstairs and go to her old room to see her laying in the bed with covers over her. Her dad did that and it warms my heart so much. 
                          
I set the bag down and climb in next to her as she snuggles into my hair and I rub her back slowly. She doesn't move as I listen to her breathing and I feel tears on my cheeks, I can't believe she was going to do that.
                          
I look down at her beautiful face as I watch her sleep, I'm definitely not getting any tonight, not until Tanner wakes up and can come and watch her. I will not leave her alone and let her hurt by herself, I'm not losing my baby.