XXIV

                                    

                                          
I opened my eyes and realized that my body was hurting from every single corner. I sat up straight and looked around me, realizing that I fell asleep in an uncomfortable stance. I was still seated in the living room on the same sofa from yesterday. I stood up and stretched, only to freeze at the sight of Damian sleeping on the opposite sofa. He did not look comfortable either. He was sitting up and his head was hunched back and resting over the back pillows. 
He's so going to regret sleeping like this when he wakes up. 
Before I could comprehend what I was doing, I found myself walking towards him. He looked peaceful—for once not scowling at me and eyeing me with blame. It was like some sort of a fresh air even though he was not exactly meaning to do it. I knew that if he was awake at the moment, he'd probably send me another one of his deadly glares. 
My hand kept on involuntarily nearing towards him and my heart raced like a rocket just got launched as my eyes continued to drink in his appearance. 
One day, not too long ago, he was mine. Now, I'd take being strangers than have to handle him despising my guts any day. 
My fingers curled around his dark locks as I started moving his hair from his face. 
I missed this.
 My hand continued moving along his hair and into his prominent cheekbones which I involuntarily started running my finger along. He fidgeted which made me immediately retract my hand back. 
I took a step back when I saw his eyes fluttering, knowing that I was going to be met by the deep forest of his eyes any time soon. Suddenly, he startled up and looked erratically around him.
"Good morning," I said awkwardly as I pretended to look around the house. I couldn't meet his eyes, not after the commotion I started out of nowhere yesterday. 
Seriously, what was I thinking when I came to hide here out of all places? 
He looked at me in confusion before the events of last night seemed to dawn on him. He didn't say anything to regard me, let alone them, but it was clear to me that he didn't know how he was supposed to react to me being there. That's why I wasn't surprised when I saw him quickly stand up and head upstairs—probably to his room to get ready for the day without addressing me.
What now?
___
A couple of minutes after Damian took off, the doorbell rang and I opened it to the housekeeper who greeted me with so much enthusiasm which made me freeze in so much confusion. She quickly took in my state and took me to the bathroom, got me a change of clothes and told me to freshen up. 
I didn't know if Damian would be fine with that but I couldn't refuse her kindness so I conceded.   
The housekeeper kept chatting with me all day that I didn't notice the time ticking. By night time, I was still at the mansion and didn't know how to cut her off and tell her that I was supposed to leave. 
I nodded along to what she was saying before I finally decided that enough was enough. 
"Shoot, look at the time! I think I should get going. Hope I can see you again!" I gave her a nice smile which she politely returned before I attempted to leave. However, Damian just so happened to come back home right at that moment. 
I mentally groaned. "Seriously, couldn't he have waited a few more minutes?" 
I knew that it wasn't fair of me to think that when it's his own home, but I wasn't sure how I was supposed to talk to him after yesterday. 
"I was just about to leave. Hope work wasn't too exhausting today," I rubbed the nape of my neck as I passed by him and through the door.  
"It wasn't any different from usual. It's bold of you to think that I should wait minutes before coming to my own house, by the way," he made sure to address my prior comment which made me mentally face palm. 
"I am sorry, I didn't mean it! To be fair, I once lived here too, you know," I teased before I could think what I said through. I saw his expression darken and gulped before silence ensued us. 
I wonder what would have happened if I wasn't a coward 3 years ago. How much different would things have been? We had so many plans involving around each other, one of which was growing old and watching our grandkids together. When I professed my love for him on our wedding day years ago, I vowed to love him forever and ever and be with him through the thick and thin. 
I remember him promising the same thing back yet I still didn't give him a chance to go through the thick of it with me. 
"Do you think that if what happened 3 years ago didn't happen, we'd still be together?" I blurted out before I could process the words in my head. 
He scoffed humorlessly. "I don't think it's fair to think about the what ifs so long after we both lost the strings that were attaching us together." 
I nodded, feeling as though a heavy rock set itself right above my heart. 
But deep down, I knew that we both had the same answer. 
Yes, yes we definitely would have been.
__ 
I apologize beforehand in case you spot any sentences/paragraphs where I would suddenly switch to present tense here regardless of the fact that this book is supposed to be written completely in past tense (seeing as I started it like that back in January). I recently started writing all in present tense and I got so used to it to the point where I  would keep on accidentally switching to present every now and then. 
Have a good day/evening!