{13}

                                    

                                          
TW: panic attacks and age regression. Also flashbacks of abuse and self degrading. Also flashbacks of r*peThis whole chapter has several triggering parts. This is slightly more of suga's backstory and where fukurodani comes in. Read if you want to up until the flashback is important. And after the flashback is important too. Please don't read if you have panic attacks at the mention of abuse or rape. This might not happen in the manga and I'm not trying to tarnish anyone's reputation but this is my fan fiction that I'm writing so I write it how I please. So please don't read if you are going to get triggered. Ok on with the fic. 
                          
Sugawara POV
                          
We were in practice just doing our own things with hinata and kageyama practicing hinata receives. Niya and Asahi practicing spiking, receives, and libero jump sets. Tsukishima and yamaguchi practicing serves. Tanaka was sitting over kiyoko like always. Daichi and I were over on the coaches bench because I could feel a panic attack and signed mine and his special sign to tell him I was going to have a panic attack. "Alright everybody I need silence. Stop practicing for a little while and go outside to get some fresh air." Daichi yelled to the team. They all looked really confused but they just listened and did what daichi said to do.
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After everybody was out of the gym and the doors were shut, I completely broke down while sobbing and started to shake a lot. "Hey baby it's ok. He can't hurt you anymore. He can't hurt anyone anymore. I will always protect you." Daichi tried to comfort me but it wasn't working. My attack was getting worse and be knew he had to do something. "I'm sorry love im about to get loud ok. Plug your ears for me." I nodded and covered my ears. I was hyperventilating and daichi was worried so I knew what he was doing. "SOMEONE GET MINE AND SUGA'S BAGS OUT OF THE CLUB ROOM! AND BE FAST DON'T FUCKIN DAWDLE!" I flinched at the yelling and curled into daichi more my panic attack only getting worse. I was hyperventilating, shaking, and I couldn't breathe. Daichi started rubbing my back again but I wasn't expecting it so I freaked out and started to scream at the top of my lungs. "NO DON'T TOUCH ME. PLEASE I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME. I NEVER DID ANYTHING TO YOU PLEASE DON'T TOUCH ME. PLEASE, PLEASE JUST DON'T HURT ME AGAIN!" Everybody ran inside and looked at me confused. 
                          
Dai hi POV 
I slowly moved over to him and talked to him while doing so. "Hey your ok koushi. He's gone. He's in jail he won't ever hurt you again. It's me, daichi. You know your boyfriend. Don't worry. I'm right here he can't hurt you anymore." I was able to close to him when kageyama and hinata burst into the gym with both of our bags. They went to run to me and I shook my head no. "Walk slowly. You'll Only make this attack worse." I grabbed onto koushi slowly and pulled him to my lap. And started to rub his back. This was the worst attack he's had in a while. "Ok now open both bags and in one of them should be an orange bag that sugawara koushi on it. Get into it and grab the white pill bottle and the inhaler. Don't ask questions we will explain later. Just do as I say and this will end in like 30 minutes. *I turned to suga* hey my love. Can you hear me? If so I need you to breathe for me ok. It's gonna be fine because I'm here to protect you. I love you so much and I won't ever let him touch you again." Kageyama handed me the pill bottle and I looked tauki and signed "water bottle" He nodded and handed me my bottle. "Nobody freak out." Everyone nodded and I looked at suga and just smiled brightly at him and said "hey it's medication time. Remember that it makes it stop. I need you to swallow." He nodded and I popped the pill in my mouth and put water with it. I kissed him and transfered the pill and water to his mouth and watched him swallow it. "Good. now inhaler. Kiyoko go get the weighted blanket please. Or just the security blanket in my bag." She nodded and ran off. I grabbed suga's inhaler and put it to his mouth. "Ready?" He nodded and I pushed the cartridge down and he breathed in his medication. I did this twice and he started breathing normally. Kiyoko came back in with his blanket and I took it from him. I went to let go to put the blanket around his shoulders but he reached out and grabbed onto me and started crying again. "Y-you said that y-you w-wouldnt leave." "I'm not. I have your blanket that momma got you my love." He shook his head and burrowed back into my chest. Kiyoko slowly walked over and drapped the blanket around him. He pulled the blanket off his shoulders and clutched it to his chest as he cried into my chest. The team looked at us in awe. I went to open my mouth when the door opened and two guys walked In the gym. "Oh my god daichi what happened? I haven't seen one like this for a few years. What happens to trigger this?" I shook my head and the two just stood in silence. The whole team sat down and waited in silence until suga stopped shaking and was just crying silently into my chest. "I know we things to explain but that is for when suga feels comfortable. This is the worst attack he's had in almost two years so don't crowned him or ask to many questions ok. " I felt suga's hand touch my cheek and I looked down at him. "It's ok love. It's time I tell them. Especially what they just saw and heard. I can't run from what he did to me forever." Suga said in a crackled voice obviously from the same reading and crying. I nodded and he sat up wiping his tears and sitting in my lap while I wrapped my arms around him as a form of comfort.