I||ANGEL OF MINE

                                    

                                          
NOTHING MEANS MORE TO ME THAN WHAT WE SHARE
NO ONE IN THIS WORLD CAN EVER COMPARE
•••


DECEMBER 31, 1993
DIVINE
New Years Eve.
Michael and I were at Hayvenhurst enjoying a family gathering to bring in the new year within the next half hour. We've been here all day just enjoying the loving atmosphere, the food, and music and just having a grand old time with one another. Honestly, it's what we really needed, especially Michael who has gone through so much. With the year now coming to a close, I couldn't have been more happy to start anew. Start fresh. Leave the worst behind us. So much has occured in the year 1993 that I'm sure most people wouldn't be able to fathom. Most people wouldn't be able to walk just a mile in our shoes after all that has happened. I honestly wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. We were emotionally, mentally, and physically drained from it all. 
The last few months were pure hell. Sometimes I wondered how Michael and I got through the most hardest trial in our lives. The allegations were something that took the world by storm. We had those who believed in the lies and those who did not. We had fans who were once loyal fans turn their backs on my husband and we had those who did not and believed in his innocence. 
Anyone who knew Michael well or have had the chance of meeting him knew well enough how much he adored children. He wouldn't ever lay a finger on any child let alone a fly. His love for children was sweet, innocent, and stemmed from wanting to be a father figure to them all. They looked up to him and he was just as much of a child as they were. We had opened our doors to many children to come to Neverland and have fun. Some of the families Michael and I befriended but they'd shown us that there were no ulterior motives... The Chandlers were one of those families that did. As a wife, and as someone who spoke their mind, I had my doubts about them. They were quite different than the other families we've encountered. But Michael being Michael chose to not see what it was that I was seeing. 
We fussed and we fought about it as if it was on a daily basis everytime the family came over. It wasn't the children I had such an issue with; it was more so their parents. One thing about my husband, he was too giving and didn't know how to say no or just simply keep it where it should be and leave it at that. The more he had done for that family, the more the pain was inflicted onto him after finding out he was being accused of molesting Jordie. He felt so betrayed. Did I want to say I told you so? I did. I honestly, did, but I knew if I done that, it wouldn't make anything better and more than likely start another verbal altercation that I nor he did not need. Instead, I flown out to wherever he were and just comforted him as wife is to do. 
The beginnings of the allegations were rough for us. Michael was on tour and I was at our ranch most of the time being a full-time mother to our two year old son and one year old baby girl, but in between those too strenuous jobs, I made time to be there for both as much as I possibly could. It wasn't easy, but my husband needed me, too, and I needed to be there for him. He cried. I cried. We cried together. His hurt and pain became my hurt and pain and I wanted to take it all away, although I knew it was very much impossible for me to do, yet I've tried. 
I was present through all the meetings that were held, putting my two cents in on what I felt was suitable for my husband and fighting the allegations in court in a criminal case would have been the perfect thing to do. We wanted to fight it out and clear Michael's name once and for all. 
Ever since the allegations were made, our lives weren't the same as it once was before, but we've pushed forward. That's what brings us here today. Dealing with the aftermath of this year with a pending court case we weren't so sure of would take place soon. Trying to get back on track, but even though it still feels fresh like the day we found out about the allegations, we were doing a lot better than we did months before. Michael wasn't so depressed, but he had his moments and I made sure I was there every step of the way when needed. We had each other and we were going to get through this obstacle together.