29. Where he is now.

                                    

                                          


                          
{Jon} 
                          
Jon had never been friends with someone who was suspended, so he didn't know what to expect. Cary wasn't at the north doors in the first break, so Jon left Mike and the others and went back into the school before the break was up.  
                          
The Eastglen administrative offices were encased in glass like an aquarium. Jon could see Cary at a student's desk pulled up outside the principal's door. Cary leaned his head on his hand, pressing a book open to read. He looked tired. 
                          
Jon waited until the receptionist had turned away with a call, then slipped past her desk. 
                          
"Hey," he said. 
                          
Cary looked up. He glanced at the receptionist and frowned. "You shouldn't be here." 
                          
"You don't get a break?" 
                          
Cary shook his head. "Lunch." 
                          
"Okay. I just wanted to see if you can come over after school today. My dad wants to start building a garage. He's wondering if we can help this week." 
                          
The look Cary gave him was so flat and strange that Jon checked over his shoulder to see if someone was behind him. 
                          
"He wants me to help?" 
                          
Jon nodded. "Yeah. And then, you know have supper with us or whatever." 
                          
Cary looked down at his book. "She's done her call." 
                          
Jon straightened up, darted a look at the receptionist and hurried out. 
                          
 /// 
                          
Todd didn't even look at Jon in English class. At lunch time, Jon ate his PB&J sandwich on the grass outside the north doors, imagining the burger he was going to buy the next day. The days of Todd frisking him for his lunch money were over.  
                          
Cary came out the doors partway through the break. Jon thumped the grass. "Pull up a seat." 
                          
Cary arched in a stretch. "I sat all morning." He lit his cigarette and drew deeply with a sigh. 
                          
"This the only smoke break you get?" Jon asked, watching him. 
                          
Cary nodded. "I'm quitting." 
                          
"Cool," Jon said. "Did you think about the project? The garage?" 
                          
"No." Cary didn't look at him. 
                          
Jon's forehead wrinkled. Cary had walls up again and he didn't know why. He looked down the corridor between the buildings at the slice of blue sky touching the sports fields. "I really want you to help." 
                          
Cary didn't move. Jon watched him in the corner of his eye. Was it hard for Cary to come to his house and see how different it was? He wanted Cary to have a break—to give him that at least. 
                          
 Finally, Cary said, "Okay. I don't need supper." 
                          
Jon's smile didn't feel all there. "Sure."  
                          
Cary sat on the edge of the grass next to him and finished his cigarette. When he was done he reached into his jacket and pulled out the last thing Jon expected. 
                          
"Hey, my Bible. I was looking for that." 
                          
Cary handed it over without looking at him. "Sorry I took it." 
                          
"That's okay." Jon looked at the side of his face. What was Cary doing with his Bible? 
                          
"I read it," Cary said.  
                          
Jon was startled. "All of it?" 
                          
Cary gave him a look. "The part about Jesus, when he died." 
                          
Jon stayed quiet, hoping they weren't going to fight about this again. 
                          
"You said he came alive again. Is he still alive?" 
                          
Jon felt a smile start on his face. "Yeah. He came back with like a new kind of body that doesn't die. The kind we'll all get in the end." 
                          
Cary's hands plucked up blades of grass, one by one. He frowned. "But he still has scars on him." 
                          
Jon's eyes went to Cary's wrists—the thick scars just visible beyond the cuffs of his jacket. He slowed up, trying to listen for Jesus. This felt important. "Yeah. I think that's just him. His scars are special because he died for us." 
                          
Cary's hands closed. He looked at Jon from under his eyebrows. "He what?" 
                          
"Um—he died so we could come to his Father—God—without being afraid. Before, we were far away because of sin—the bad things we've done—" 
                          
"I know what sin is," Cary said. 
                          
Jon took a breath. If he knew anything about Cary, he would say he was angry. Help. "So we all have sin. And God loved us and wanted us close instead of far away. So Jesus came to die and make a way for us to have a relationship with him." 
                          
Cary's voice was soft and flat. "Did his Father make him do that?" 
                          
Jon swallowed. "No. Jesus wanted to. He loves us too. They're like the same person—everything Jesus did the Father would do too." 
                          
After a long moment, Cary shook his head. "You sound crazy." 
                          
Jon made his voice light. "You think this life is all we get? That's crazy. That would suck." 
                          
Cary looked at him again. "Huh." He stretched out on his stomach in the grass. "Time is it?" 
                          
Jon checked his watch. "12:35." 
                          
"I need to be back before the second bell."  
                          
They were silent a few minutes. Jon thought Cary had gone to sleep.  
                          
"If he's alive, where is he now?" Cary's voice was muffled with his face on his arms. 
                          
Jon looked at Cary's shoulders. He could practically hear Jesus' answer. "He's right here," Jon said.  
                          
"Like invisible?" 
                          
"Kind of. His Spirit is here, in me. With you. He never leaves."  
                          
Cary turned his head to look at him. Jon couldn't read the expression that rippled over his face. Jon thought about the way Cary's shoulders looked under his jacket and swallowed. He didn't look away. 
                          
The first bell rang. Cary got to his feet and knocked the grass off his jacket. "See you after school." 
                          
Jon smiled. They were still friends. "Yeah, see you." 
                          
*Does Jon sound crazy? Have you ever tried to explain your beliefs to someone who knows nothing about them? I find I learn more about what I believe by talking with people who have different life experiences than me, than sitting in a pew on Sunday lol. *