Chapter 11 - Part 2

                                    

                                          
"If you want to blame it on the alcohol and call it a mistake, that's fine." He shrugged.
Her heart inflated as she stared into his beautiful, expressive eyes. He was giving her an out. 
"Tell me what you're thinking," he prompted softly, his eyes searching hers for something to indicate what was going on in her head.
She let out an emotional breath before opening her eyes again. "This is complicated."
He inclined his head. "It is."
His fingers loosely held her hand.
"Karsyn..." she murmured.
He nodded, but he still continued to hold her hand. "I'm not proud of the way he found out, but I won't apologize for what happened between us."
There were so many reasons why this couldn't work, but none of them mattered when she was standing in front of him, gazing into his eyes. 
"What if this doesn't work?" she whispered.
"Jess the eternal optimist."
"I'm being realistic," she protested. "I don't have a great track record, and come to think of it, neither do you." Just thinking back to his casual friend who had warming his bed the night she had arrived unexpectedly on his doorstep was proof enough.
"It depends on the person." His gaze held hers, leaving her a little breathless with its intensity. Why was he being evasive? Why couldn't he just say what he meant?
"And it feels so right." His thumb brushed her hand lightly, but it still tingled and something inside her fluttered. 
"What about Karsyn?" Surely this would cause trouble between the two of them, and that wasn't something she wanted.
He rubbed his brow. "He probably isn't going to handle this well if what just happened is anything to go by." He tightened his hand around hers like he was trying to secure his hold on her with the mention of his brother.
"Is this really worth it?" She bit her lip, feeling undecided that it was. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Karsyn. She loved him, but for the first time she was questioning exactly from where those feelings stemmed. If she truly loved him in the way a woman loved a man, how could there be room for anyone else? She didn't want to take a closer look in case the whole illusion crumbled under the scrutiny.
And what about the other evening when she had been all in and he hadn't? Was that how it was always going to be? Her always wanting more than he was capable of giving?
"I can't decide that for you." He released her hand. "Maybe you need to take some time to figure out if this is something you want."
Jessica smoothed the shirt, feeling vulnerable. "Do you know what you want?" She swallowed, her throat feeling suddenly dry.
"I know I want to figure out if this is really something." He paused. "I've got to go into work. Maybe take the day off to think about what you want."
It was probably better to go into the office and keep herself busy, but maybe having some time to figure things out was what she needed.
"Sure," she mumbled. He gave her a slight nod and released her hand before he left.
She let out a heavy breath, trying to get a hold of her emotions. Deciding she might feel a little better if she had a shower, she headed to the bedroom to get some clothes.
While she got ready, she refused to allow herself to think about Myles and their night together, but it was difficult not to when she found slight bruising on her hips where he had held her roughly. She swallowed, remembering how she had groaned at his possessiveness. All she could remember was his breathing and the echoing of her heart beating rapidly as he had taken her.