"Yes." His eyebrows were almost knitted together as he looked at me full of sorrow in his orbs. "Sayo... To be honest, I was sceptical about having a maid in Shinsengumi. It wouldn't do anything good for you. I was doubting Hijikata-kun's decision and I decided to put you to test."
                          
            "What for?" My voice cracked. My eyes were becoming warm and tears started to well up in fear and in contempt.
                          
            "Shinsengumi is a place filled with barbarians; men of lower caste and men with no education. For a mere girl like you to be here is dangerous. It is more dangerous if enemies decided to attack our headquarters. What would become of you... is unimaginable." He explained, looking very concerned to my case. "As a counsellor... I had the obligation to take decision according to my judgment but I didn't want to judge you according to your looks."
                          
            "... So?"
                          
            "I am very sorry." Itou knelt down and brought his head to the ground.
                          
            "What about the one who barged into my room and ransacked my stuff?" My fists balled up as it trembled by my sides.
                          
            "Please, Sayo. Bear no ill of my younger brother, Suzuki Mikisaburo. He was following my orders. Please, Sayo." He lifted his head and went for another deep bow. His voice started to crack and his shoulders shook but he was trying to suppress them. "Please, forgive him. Let there be no shame on him. Let there be no shame on my family. We have two sisters in hometown. Who will feed them if not us?"
                          
            "I forgive him." I said. "But what about you?"
                          
"I apologize for what I have done and for what I have seen."
                          
"...What you have seen?" His apology doubled my worry. I knew it in my head but I didn't want to think about it.
                          
            "Your scar." The moment he said so, I felt my pride and confidence, everything that I was, crumble down. Tears poured and I ran. Quickly, he rose and pulled me back by my wrist. I struggled and I didn't want to listen to him.
                          
            "Sayo! Calm down!" He placated.
                          
            "Release me!"
                          
            "I know that you feel worthless but I see the worth in you! I can see why you refuse marriage! I was wrong and I am guilty about it! That's why I am here to compensate it! I will save your worth and pride as a woman and I will protect you from any harm!"
                          
            "How am I supposed to believe you?! You whose mouth is filled with sweet words! How can I trust you?!" Struggling free, I glared at him as I took a distance.
                          
            "If you can't trust me, trust our commander!" He said.
                          
            "Kondo-san...? Why? What does this have to do with him?"
                          
            "Tell him of this and let me die of honour." He forced a smile while his eyes glistened with tears.
                          
            "Are you making a fool out of me?!"
                          
            "I'm taking consequences of my actions." Calmly, he placed his knees down on the ground as he faced me. "I have told you. I am ready to die for you." He exposed his torso and placed a dagger before him. It was a stance men took when condemned to commit seppuku.
                          
            Again, he made me his life line which I would never want to be. Itou was a difficult man. "I..." Opening my mouth, I knew one thing for sure. "I don't want you to die. That's all." Finishing my words, I left.
                          
            "Wait!" Itou halted me. "Please" He begged desperately.
                          
            "..." I did not turn back to look at him. I was afraid that if I did, I would forgive this man.