chapter 11

                                    

                                          
The week passed me by in a blur, and when I woke up on Friday, I realised that I'd been absorbed in my thoughts all week. All consumed by them. 
                          
Draco's problem had been plaguing me to the point where I avoided spending too much time with everyone, wanting to have more time to think. 
                          
Each day they'd asked me to study in the great hall but I had declined, instead I sat in the dorm with my books all day, pretending to focus on potions and apparition theory as my mind wandered. 
                          
Even at night I was struggling to sleep as I tossed and turned in hopes that the solution would come to me. Willing it to appear out of the heavy fog. Dark circles had formed under my eyes, contrasting heavily against my pale skin in a sickly fashion. 
                          
But despite all of this, still nothing had come to me. No spark. No great idea. No way to help Draco. Nothing. 
                          
I felt useless, I knew that everyday I came up with nothing was another day we got closer to summer, and Draco got closer to being abused again. 
                          
I sighed and rolled out of bed, ignoring my cushions as they fell to the ground. The girls had already left for breakfast and I'd told them I would catch up.
                          
I showered quickly and changed into my uniform. I tied my mother's ribbon around my shirt collar, pulling it into a delicate bow. It comforted me to have it close and I hoped that it would soothe my anxiety over Draco's dilemma, or perhaps bring me luck of some kind. At this point, I needed any help that I could get.
                          
Eventually, and with heavy footsteps, I made my way downstairs and into the great hall. Everyone was already eating, focused entirely on their discussions for their weekend plans. I hurried to my seat, keeping my head low so as not to draw attention. 
                          
The tables were filled with fruit, cereal, toast, eggs, bacon, sausages, croissants and pastries, but I only took a green apple. I didn't have much of an appetite lately, it usually happened when I was lost in a problem of some kind. I poured myself some orange juice and sipped on it daintily. 
                          
The girls were chatting away, discussing the weekend ahead. For the most part, I tuned out, but I gathered that they were excited for the first quidditch match of the tournament.
                          
It was on Sunday and Gryffindor were scheduled to play Hufflepuff. I knew that Carlisle was nervous for the first game of the season, and I wondered what the outcome would be. I remembered Cedric's tryout and how amazing he had been. Perhaps Carlisle had good reason to be worried, they would be directly competing after all. 
                          
I was lost in thought when the hooting sounds began.
                          
We knew what that meant, it was post day.
                          
We all tilted our heads up and watched as the group of owls swooped through the doorway. They circled the hall gracefully, occasionally dropping the letters or packages to the correct owner.
                          
Students cheered happily as they got theirs and began ripping them open, eager to hear from home or see what treats their parents had sent them. It was one of the most popular times of the week, providing fresh motivation for those feeling particularly lonely or homesick. 
                          
I looked around as almost everyone held letters. Maisie, Dakota and Evelyn were reading theirs in concentration as they ate. 
                          
I decided I would go and paint instead of sitting with them, there didn't seem much point in waiting around. I had a free period whilst they were due to attend classes. 
                          
"Hey guys, I'm gonna go paint. I'll see you later okay?" I rose from my seat and adjusted my skirt slightly.
                          
Maisie and Dakota just nodded, too distracted to pay me much attention, but Evelyn looked up and gave me a sympathetic smile. I knew she felt bad for me. Most people got a letter every week, whereas I was lucky if I got one once a month.
                          
I knew my dad was too busy to write most of the time and I didn't resent him for it, but sometimes I got really lonely without his words. Especially when I needed it now more than ever, but he'd always encouraged me to be an independent thinker and I understood that I couldn't rely on him forever. I had to start figuring things out by myself. 
                          
But being around everyone as they got their post was a painful reminder of my parental absence. so I usually didn't hang around for long. 
                          
I walked into the crisp morning air and went to my usual painting spot. It was pretty far from the castle, but I liked it that way. It meant that no one would bother me. 
                          
Once I reached the whomping willow I took out my wand, pointing it up at the angry deciduous plant. 
                          
"Tranquillitas et pacificis" I spoke the words clearly and smiled as the tree relaxed into tranquility. I walked up to the trunk and sat down in between two of the larger roots, wedging my agains them like a safety blanket. 
                          
The tree was notoriously aggressive, which meant that people tended to avoid it. One summer I had been reading an ancient charms book and found the perfect incantation to keep the tree peaceful. It meant I could sit in my spot for at least two hours, undisturbed by the bustle of the castle.
                          
I chanted again "pingere suppellectilem revelare" and my paintbrush, paints and canvas pad appeared in my hands.
                          
I looked out over the view and took in the scene, it was a fairly clear day and I could see the landscape stretching out for miles beyond the grounds. 
                          
I began to paint and smiled slightly as it soothed the worries of my mind, utilising my attention on something I could actually achieve. I had always been gifted at painting and I attributed it down to my mother. She painted frequently and our house was filled with her artwork. 
                          
My father had said they reflected the very essence of her soul, and even though they made him sad sometimes, he refused to get rid of them. 
                          
It was obvious that he still loved her dearly. They had been childhood sweethearts their whole lives, next door neighbours even before they got their Hogwarts letters. As they got older they grew even closer, their dynamic shifting from an innocent friendship to a full blown romance. I couldn't help but think how lucky they had been to know a love like that. It was rare, really rare. 
                          
I painted in peace as my thoughts wandered, the only sounds were from the sighing of the tree and the birds in the trees around me. 
                          
An hour later I had finished the image and I leaned back, admiring my work. The painting showed the slope down towards Hagrid's hut and the dark forest beyond that. I had used lots of black and dark blue, I felt it matched my mood well.
                          
I cast a drying spell before closing the pad and standing up, shaking grass off me. I stretched my muscles as I looked down the hill one last time before making my way back to the castle.