Take the Pain Away (10)

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A few days later I wake up at my usual time, and make my way downstairs as normal. The house is quiet, but then it always is when I wake up, and there's something I like about seeing the world before anyone else does every morning, well, before anyone else in this house at least.

I'm surprised however to find a note on the kitchen table.

Morning Natalie,
Forgot to tell you, but we're out all day today doing interviews and promotion stuff.
Won't be back until late.

Have a good day.
Louis x

I read the note a couple of times and set it back on the counter. 

Huh. That's different. An empty house, all day. 

I guess I'll just go about my day as if nothing's different, after all, that's basically what I used to do back at home, on the days I wasn't working at the pub.

I sit with my coffee and breakfast, feeling slightly odd as time ticks past and I don't hear Zayn's footsteps coming down the stairs to join me. 

It's cloudy today. I'm sitting staring out the kitchen door, just watching the way the trees in the distance move in the wind.

I'm alone all the time. I like being alone. So why do I feel so odd today? Maybe it's something else, hormones or something I don't know. It's probably just a coincidence that the boys are out today.

But the silence starts getting to me, where normally I enjoy it. So I clear up my plates and head back to my room, putting my headphones on and pressing shuffle, smiling as some Owl City song comes on.

I finished my portrait of Zayn the other day, and I smile as I glance at the canvas, resting gently against the wall. 

I'm going to paint Niall today. 

I go through my routine, picking out another canvas the same size as before, and grabbing my paints.

I know exactly how I want to paint him, the image is still fresh in my mind. It's from one of our guitar lessons, which... I've gotten better at! Though I definitely still need to practise more.

I remember him sitting opposite me, also with a guitar in his hands. That boy becomes a completely different person when he's holding a guitar. The confidence rolls off him in waves, and he's so easy-going. 

He was sitting in front of me, his fingers twiddling around on the strings without him even realising, I think, and he looked at me and laughed as I made some sort of mistake. His face just lights up when he laughs, and I couldn't help but laugh with him.

I don't think that boy has a bad bone in his body. He's so supportive of all the other boys, and of me too, I guess. Never once have I heard him say anything negative, even as a joke. I can see why the boys all have him under their wing a bit.

Liam showed me photos of all of them when they first auditioned, and my heart actually melted. Louis wasn't very pleased when I took the opportunity to go over and pinch his cheeks. Who would've guessed such a sweet looking boy with a bad haircut would grow into such a handsome young man?

Harry was the same - I almost didn't recognise him. His eyes were so different. 

Liam showed me his photo and I was so surprised. I remember looking at Harry, real life Harry, and meeting his eyes, and there was something in them that I couldn't place. It made me quite sad. I realise that, despite their public image, these boys don't have it as easy as a lot of people think they do.

I stop for some lunch, but then go straight back to my painting, finishing about halfway through the afternoon. The sky is still cloudy, but I sit on the balcony and read for a while, trying to ignore how quiet it is.

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