Chapter 35: Hardin

                                    

                                          
"How fucking long am I supposed to stand here?" I ask Landon as I check his watch. It's five past four.
                          
"Not much longer, look, here come the bridesmaids." He points to Nora, Kim and Heather walking out of my home.
                          
I feel like I'm going to pass out. I hate being the center of attention, especially being up here by myself. The longer I stand up here alone, the more I want to vomit. This lady begins playing the typical wedding song that you hear in movies. My hands are sweating, my legs are weak, and I can tell that I am growing increasingly nervous. I just need Tessa to come out. Once I see her, I will be okay.
                          
Minutes pass without Tessa coming out, and at this point, I'm surprised I am not a puddle on the floor.
                          
"Where is she?" I whisper to Landon. He shrugs, looking worried himself.
                          
"Is she coming?" I whisper to Kim next, and she nods.
                          
"Fuck." I run my hands through my hair, and I can just feel the sweat, even though it's cold out here.
                          
When I saw what Nora did to our backyard, I was shocked. I didn't expect anything to the extent of what she did. I guess that's why they were being so secretive when I was in the shower. I know once Tessa sees this little set up, she will be so happy. If she would just fucking come out...
                          
Just as I am about to storm into the house to look for her, the door opens, and out steps what looks like an angel ascending from heaven.
                          
Tessa walks out of the house in this long white dress. A wedding dress. Tessa is actually wearing a wedding dress. It looks so breathtaking on her, I cannot even put it into words. I never thought I would see her with a wedding dress, but looking at her now, I could never have been prepared for how amazing she looks.
                          
Slowly, Tessa walks up towards me. Mike is taking pictures, and everyone else is 'oohing and ahhing', but my eyes are only on her. She is so beautiful, so perfect, and mine. She's mine. Fuck, I promised myself I wouldn't cry in front of my and Tessa's family, but I can't help it. Tears stream down my face, and I sniffle as she continues to walk closer. I can't even fucking hide it, nor do I want to at this point. Before she continues, she walks to the side and grabs her mother's hand. Carol looks confused, but stands with Tessa and helps walk her down the rest of the aisle.
                          
Tessa is only feet away from me as she kisses her mum on the cheek. As Carol moves back to her seat, She reaches for my hands. I take them in mine, and they are so soft and warm. She releases one of her hands and wipes the tears from under my eye, and I do the same for her. I didn't even realize she was crying. I couldn't stop looking at how good she looked in the dress.
                          
"You look beautiful." I choke out so only she can hear.
                          
"You're very handsome. I like the tie." She tugs on my tie and giggles. I know how much she probably appreciates that I am wearing a tie, since I have never even worn one. Almost, but never did.
                          
"You may all be seated." Luke says from behind me, and everyone sits down. I can only imagine how clammy my hands must feel, but Tessa doesn't look like she's grossed out.
                          
Luke begins speaking, but honestly, I'm not even paying attention. I am solely focused on the woman in front of me. Though, I should pay attention because I have no idea what the fuck I am supposed to be doing.
                          
"Marriage is a union between two people. Two people who wish to spend the rest of their lives together in love, peace and harmony. The purpose of marriage is not to create a relationship, but to highlight it. By doing so, you chose to honor each other, love each other and respect each other until your final days. May we get the rings please?"
                          
Abby comes running up to the altar holding a little pillow with two rings on them. One I recognize as the ring that I got Tessa the day after she agreed to marry me, but I see another ring that I'm going to have to wear. I forgot that I have to do that. We each pick up each other's rings.
                          
"Okay, Hardin. Repeat after me." Oh shit. I hope I don't fuck this up. " I, Hardin Scott..."
                          
"I, Hardin Scott." I say with the shakiest voice ever, causing Tessa to quietly giggle to herself.
                          
"Take Theresa Young to be my lawfully wedded wife." He says, and I repeat it back. Luke is giving me a funny look though.
                          
"You're supposed to put the ring on while you do it." Luke whispers to me.
                          
"Shit." I say, and Tessa giggles again. Her bubbly attitude is putting me a little at ease.
                          
"To honor and cherish her, through sickness and health, for as long as we both shall live."
                          
"To honor and cherish her, through sickness and health, for as long as we both shall live." I say back.
                          
Luke smiles at me. "Now, Tessa repeats after me. I, Theresa Young." He moves on to Tessa and I exhale, grateful that I got through that.
                          
"I, Theresa Young." She repeats, smiling at me because she knows that I know how much she hates being called Theresa.
                          
"Take Hardin Scott to be my lawfully wedded husband."
                          
"Take Hardin Scott to be my lawfully wedded husband." The way she repeats the words makes my smile grow. I could listen to her speak for the rest of my life. I am going to be able to!
                          
"For as long as we both shall live." Tessa finishes and slides the ring onto my finger.
                          
"Now for the vows, Hardin, would you like to go first?" Luke asks.
                          
"Uh, yeah... sure." I fumble the piece of folded up paper in my suit jacket. It falls to the floor, and I awkwardly bend down to pick it up. The audience laughs a little, and I feel my face getting red. Ugh. Fuck!
                          
"Hey, relax." Tessa's hand reaches out to touch mind as it shakes. She keeps her hands on mine as I open the paper to begin reading my vows.
                          
"Theresa..." I begin. "I cannot believe I am here, right now, standing in front of you about to get married. As many of you know, I never thought this was going to happen to me. I never thought that I would find somebody who would make me want to be a better person, who would make me want to wake up each damn morning, who would want to make me love. I never thought that I would fall so deeply in love with another, and I never thought I would have a happy life. No one, not even you, knows this, and I am a little hesitant to admit it, but I have attempted to end my life in the past. Sorry to be so fucking gloomy, but it's true. I was alone, sad, depressed, living each day in pain and misery, but all of that changed once I met you. I know that without you, I surely would not be here.  Tessa, you have completely changed my life in so many ways that I cannot even describe. I think that it's safe to say in front of our closest friends and family that without you, I would not be even a quarter of the man standing in front of you today. Nothing I ever do, nothing I will ever give you will ever be able to repay you for what you have given me. You gave me hope, you gave me a purpose, and you loved me when no one else did. The least I can do is promise to love you until the day I die. I promise to dedicate every part of me to you, and to our little baby growing inside of you." I reach over and touch her stomach. I feel more relaxed now that I have started speaking, and the smile on Tessa's face is the driving force for me to continue.
                          
"I know I am a lot to handle. Fuck, I think everyone knows I am a lot to handle." The audience laughs. "So I thank you for dealing with the mess that I am, and creating something resembling a normal human being. Tess, I can't wait to marry you and love you for the rest of my life. I can't wait to raise a family with you, go on vacations with you, laugh with you, fight with you, and all the in-between. As one of our favorite author's said, whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. Yours and mine are the same, and I cannot wait to start this new beginning with the other half of my soul."
                          
I place the paper back into my pocket, and exhale in relief that I was able to get through that whole speech without stuttering, coughing or passing out. Tessa is crying pretty hard, as I expected she would be.
                          
Luke pats me on the back. "Okay, Tessa. You may say your vows now."