Season 9 Chapter 4: Evacuation Plan

                                    

                                          

Fade in to Tucker and Caboose on the cliff
                          
Caboose:    What happened.
                          
Tucker:    One of the Reds just shot Church in the foot.
                          
Church:    Ow, that fucking hurt!
                          
Tucker:    Do you think we should try to help?
                          
Caboose:    I don't really see how we can, I can't really get a clear shot at Church from this angle.
                          
Cut to Church and the Reds
                          
Church:    How, man, you guys are a bunch of dicks. I just got this foot.
                          
Simmons:    Four minutes left.
                          
Church:    I just want to say, you guys are all mixed up. You're doing it wrong.
                          
Donut:    Doing what wrong?
                          
Church:    This! Your team. Like, where's Grif?
                          
Donut:    He's in the base, cleaning up. He loves to keep things tidy.
                          
Church:    Naw-no no no, see, that's not right, this isn't the way things are supposed to be. They got all confused somehow. Grif isn't tidy at all, he's filthy!
                          
Simmons:    He's gonna wash his hands for a week if he hears you say that.
                          
Church:    Grif, come on, get out here man!
                          
Grif:    I'm doing my second coat of floor wax. That's when the shine comes to life. I'll be out in a minute!
                          
Church: What about Ghost?
                          
Simmons: He's inside sleeping.
                          
Church: ... What?
                          
Simmons: He is the lazy one of the group, but when you need him he will always help.
                          
Church: Wh- What! That makes no sense he is a walking doomsday bomb ready to explode.
                          
Donut: Oh hu!
                          
Simmons: Stop it.
                          
Church: Ghost, get out here!
                          
Ghost: No, I'm fucking sleeping!
                          
Church:    Ugh, Sarge, come on, be Sarge, yell at them. Get them out here.
                          
Sarge:    Why would I yell at a subordinate? Seems unfair to yell at someone who can't yell back.
                          
Church:    What that's su-what?
                          
Sarge:    Hey, sorry about calling you fellas subordinates-
                          
Church:    That's so lame.
                          
Sarge:    No offense meant.
                          
Donut:    None taken, boss.
                          
Simmons:    Actually, kinda like being talked down to.
                          
Church:    Okay, seriously, Sarge, come on. You love being in charge, tell these guys to, like you know, shape up or do somethin'.
                          
Sarge:    Well, I guess they could be doing a better job.
                          
Donut:    How?
                          
Sarge:    Hgh, I just want you guys to feel like you're reaching your full potential.
                          
Donut:    I know I am.
                          
Simmons:    Me too.
                          
Donut:    My potential is so full, I feel like I could fill up a couple other soldiers' potentials.
                          
Simmons:    God dammit, mine is just the regular kind of full.
                          
Church:    And Donut, come on, man. This isn't you. You're supposed to be, you know free spirited. Not some kind of repressed over-achieving jarhead.