Chapter Sixty-One

                                    

                                          
I was glad that Emmy and I had talked over everything that we needed to because the next day was certainly not the best of them. Emmy called me early in the morning to let me know that her grandmother had sadly passed on and that she wanted to talk to me later. Of course, I was going to meet up with her as soon as I could. Before that could happen, though, Courtney had arrived outside my house. It had felt like years had passed by since I had last seen her, even though it had merely been a matter of hours. Regardless, her presence was one of the things I needed more than anything in the moment. Emmy was hurting and I hurt in the knowledge that she was. Loss was never easy to go through. When dad had left us, I had cried for a solid week. Alright, I had cried for far longer than that, in truth. I hadn't talked to anyone about that, apart from Emmy. It was now my turn to be there to comfort her through all of this. 
                          
As I made the decision to distract myself from my thoughts for a couple of hours,  I walked out of the front door of my house to find Courtney leant against her car. She looked so perfect today. I mean, she always looked gorgeous. Today she looked particularly good, though. Then again, I may have just thought that because of my growing feelings for her. I had all of these feelings and I honestly hadn't known what to do with them. Perhaps the most practical of solutions would be to simply tell her how I was feeling but I didn't want to do that and scare her. I knew that Courtney hadn't had the best experiences with relationships in the past and I didn't even know if she felt the same way for me as I felt for her. I was hopeful, though. 
                          
"Hey beautiful," I said, with a kindness in my voice. 
                          
"Hi cutie. Ready to go?" she asked me. 
                          
"Where are we headed?" I asked her, as she opened the car door for me. 
                          
"I thought we could go and stop by the cafe for a bit," Courtney suggested, "And then maybe go to the park, weather permitting." 
                          
The sun was out today, which was a rare occurrence. I supposed that the two of us should probably make the most of it. That didn't change the fact that I was exhausted, though and that fact only really hit me once I sat down in the passenger's side of Courtney's car. She began to talk about a book she had been reading for her history group and I tried to pay attention as much as I could but I felt as though all of my thoughts were returning back to my worries. 
                          
"I know you, Phoebe, and you only look like that when something's bothering you. What's going on?" she asked me, as a hint of curiosity appeared across her features. 
                          
"I wish I could do more, you know? Emmy's grandmother is gone and I feel like there's nothing I can do to help," I said. 
                          
Courtney gave a slight shake of her head, then, as she placed a hand on my shoulder. 
                          
"That's crap, okay? You have always been there for Emmy, Phoebe. You have shown her your kindness and generosity and you know her better than anyone. You probably know her better than even Lois does, or Elijah and he's her twin brother. You need to stop beating yourself up over these things, alright? The future is uncertain and its messy but we're going to be okay as long as we have you there, Phoebe. I know that I'm going to be okay as long as I have you," she told me, as a meaningful glint appeared in those beautiful eyes I could memorise so well. 
                          
I gave a slight nod before I began to consider my response. 
                          
"You're a really good friend, Courtney and an even better girlfriend. I am so lucky to have you, it's just-" 
                          
"Difficult. Trust me, I know. Life hasn't exactly been easy for me either..." she trailed off then, as though she was thinking over something. Her pupils had seemed to dilate as soon as the word 'girlfriend' had escaped my lips. I supposed it was still an amazing concept to me, in all honesty. Courtney really was my girlfriend. If someone had told me that a while back, I don't think that I would ever have believed them. However, matters were different now. Matters between Courtney and I were certainly better.
                          
After she had finished her momentary contemplation, Courtney spoke again.
                          
"Let Emmy know that if she needs anyone, I'll also be here for her." 
                          
"Really?" I asked her, feeling the pitch of my voice raise ever so slightly. 
                          
"Are you kidding me? Of course, I'll be here for her. Emmy is your best friend and as I am your girlfriend, that means that she is a friend of mine, too," Courtney said. 
                          
I felt the corners of my lips lifting, then. 
                          
The blue sky above us seemed to brighten, as I felt my spirits lift a little, too. 
                          
"Now, we should get going to the cafe. I have a very specific order that I think you'll like. Plus, it'll be a slight nightmare for Lois to make," Courtney said. 
                          
I gave her a look then and she shrugged. 
                          
"What?" she said, "I said that I would be nice to your friends, now. That doesn't mean that I can't have a little fun with them." 
                          
I released a soft laugh, as I gave Courtney a nod of agreement and she began to drive on. 
                          
"Trust me, we can both go and see Emmy after all of this," Courtney assured me. 
                          
It was a relief to hear that because I knew that I wanted to see Emmy as soon as I could, especially before the sky began to grow darker. I didn't want her to have to spend the evening alone, particularly not now. She needed a friend and she needed hot chocolate and warm hugs. Of course, I would provide all of those to her at some point. 
                          
Courtney seemed to catch on that I was worried and so once we got to a red light, she reached her hand out to give my hand a gentle squeeze. It was in that simplest of actions that I felt myself feeling a little more optimistic. As long as I had her, I would be alright. As long as Emmy had Lois, me, and the rest of her friends, I knew that she would be alright, too.