37.

                                    

                                          
"You have a daughter?"
                          
Harry's voice was barely audible. He wasn't entirely sure if he'd heard her correctly.
                          
Anna's bloodshot eyes were looking at him, wide and glistening. You could clearly see that she was trying very hard to keep her shit together.
                          
"I had... I had a daughter." She said in an undertone. "She turned six almost a week ago."
                          
Six years ago?
                          
It would mean that... oh god...
                          
"Yeah." Suzanna's chuckle didn't have a single ounce of humour in her voice, it only held malice. "It was thanks to one of my rapists."
                          
Harry's fists balled, nails digging into the skin of his palms. Plural... she used a plural noun.
                          
"I couldn't raise a child, but I couldn't really afford a termination." Wiping the current stream of tears falling down her cheeks, she sniffed before she looked at him again. 
                          
His face was unreadable, but she could see that he was hanging on to every word she spoke.
                          
"I have been through the foster system... I know how things are... there was no way I was making my little girl go through what I went through." Anna was shaking by now. Her breathing was turning shallow and her hands were shaking. But she entwined her fingers together to try to stop the tremors and continue her story.
                          
She was going to tell him everything.
                          
"So, I kept her Harry... I kept her with me." She wasn't even trying to wipe the tears anymore. "But I couldn't feed her, I had no clothes for her... I was living in the streets, for god's sake!" she ran a hand through her messy hair before she slumped on the ground, "If she'd stayed with me, she would have died!"
                          
"Hey, hey." Harry quickly rushed to her side. He gathered her in his strong arms and held her tightly against his chest while she continued sobbing. "It's okay."
                          
He could feel his own eyes watering at the sound of her torturous cries. She didn't deserve this... Anna didn't deserve this much sorrow.
                          
"I couldn't keep her Harry! For her own sake!" She cried. Her fingers were clutching the material of his shirt tightly in their grip and her face was pressed against his chest. "The thought of giving her away was so scary! But I couldn't keep her!"
                          
"Hush now..." Harry brushed his hand through her hair, his gentle strokes were an attempt to soothe her. "You did what you had to do. It's okay."
                          
Harry slowly rocked their bodies to and fro as he kept muttering encouraging words to her until her sobs finally died down.
                          
When she pulled away from him, her face looked a little blotched and her eyes a little puffy. But it was breathtaking to Harry. This girl had fought more battles than he'd thought.
                          
"I couldn't bear the thought of her having a foster family like mine." She sniffed, "So I contacted the social services. I chose a couple who I thought would love her like I was never loved, would give her the childhood I could never give her." 
                          
Harry was gently rubbing her arms up and down. Somehow, with the shitstorm of chaos going on inside her head, the warmth he gave her seemed to be providing her with the small semblance of composure.
                          
"But there are some nights... I can't help but think what if I made the wrong choice! What if they are horrible... what if... what if she was better off with me!" each one of her sobs racked through her entire being. She felt like she was being torn apart and there was nothing she could do. "How could I do this to her! To my own daughter!"
                          
"Hey, hey!" Harry interrupted her, cupping her face with utmost gentleness. His green eyes held her brown ones captive and one look at them and Anna felt her rambling chain of thoughts seize. "You did what you thought was best for her. You were being her mum."