When I got home before going to Esther's, I knew something was wrong. My dad's car was in the driveway and he's suppose to work till late tonight. If he's home, that means something is wrong. I open the front door and call out for someone to answer me, but there's only my beating heart to fill the silence. I take my phone. I've got 6 missed call from my mom, 4 from Princeton and 1 from Scout. Shit! I don't usually check my phone every second of every day and it's always on silence, which explain why I missed the calls. I call Princeton back because I don't feel like talking to my mom.
-What's wrong? I ask the second he answers.
-Ivy where are you?
-Home, why? What's wrong?
-Dad had a heart attack.
-WHAT? I say, grabbing my dad's keys.
I run out of the house and jump in the car. Someone at my dad's office must have brought the car back or something. Or maybe he had is heart attack here, at home. I throw the phone on the bench and drive as fast as I can while still being legal. I'm a new driver, it's not the moment to lose my drivers licence! I park exactly 36 minutes later in the hospital's parking, fighting a little with the stupid ticket machine. I run straight to the emergency room, I know he must be there. I don't even need to read the information's boards on the wall telling me where to go, I know this place by heart, I've walk every hallway million times at night. I storm at the counter. A nurse that I don't know stares at me from behind her computer. Her face is hard and expressionless.
-I'm looking for Joshua Berthelsen.
She taps something on her computer.
-I cannot tell you anything about Mr. Berthelsen for the moment, she says pointing the waiting room to tell me to go sit down and shut my mouth.
I grab her arm and squeeze it thigh. Her eyes become really big, like they're going to pop out of her head.
-Listen to me you little newbie bitch, you're going to open his file right now, and not the last one publish, the one that's being changed right now via another computer by the doctors, and your going to read me all the left column about his case, do you understand me!
Maybe it's because I look like a crazy person or because she's impress with my knowledge of the hospital system, but she doesn't argue. She taps on her computer, watching me at the same time to make sure I don't go crazy on her again, then she takes a deep breath before saying:
-Stable, temperature high, no cognitive malfunction found, no regain of consciousness, in transition to recovery room, out of visitor for the next 3 to 5 hours.
-Thank you, I say.
She's about to say something when someone calls my name from the other end of the hallway. I turn around and recognize her instantly. I walk up to her, Ellie, my caretaker. I stand in front of her and she puts her hand on my cheek, like she use to do all the time.
-Ivy, what are you doing here? She asks, looking all over me to make sure I'm not hurt.
Her voice is soft, like always. I use to think Ellie lived on another type of clock than the rest of the world, like her world was slower, softer. Everything she does is slow and still, it's so comforting so much stillness in one place.
-My father had a heart attack, I say.
She doesn't say anything, she doesn't need to. She just pulls me close and hugs me, my head resting on her shoulder.
-Come, let's walk, I know you don't want to wait in that room, she says motioning toward the waiting room.
I nod. I don't know where my family is. My guess is that Princeton and Scout are at the cafeteria and my mom in the chapel praying a God I don't believe in. We get in the elevator and I instantly pushes the 4 button, the paediatric floor. We walk in the hallway full of colourful decorations and kids drawings, open doors and laughs. It's the afternoon, afternoon's are always great. Nobody is sad, nobody cries, the meds are full on working so nobody hurts and all the kids laugh and giggle with their friends. They smile at me when I pass them, some say hello because they remember me. We continue all the way to the end of the hallway, to the two doors that are always shut. Ellie punches in the code, a new one that I don't know because they change the code every two weeks and it's been a couple of "two weeks" since I've left. This section of the hospital I special. It's the paediatric psychological area. Mostly it's teens who are here, and sometimes kids with anger issues. The walls are white and everybody is wearing white, except for the nurses. The main hallway is for the rooms, and I stop a second in front of mine. Well, it's not mine anymore, there's someone else living in there, but it's kinda still mine. My name is still written in the wood of the bed. The only empty room is the number 7. His name is still written on the board beside it. Alan Denver. He killed himself in the bathroom while I was still here. He was my friend. We use to play cards together. But it was dark in his head, really dark, way darker than in mine. He wasn't strong enough, he use to tell me. He wasn't going to survive this. He drowned himself in the shower, putting his towel on the floor so there would be a pool of water and putting his face right in it, breathing water. I didn't had the right to go to his funerals, doctor Griffin didn't think it was a good idea. I say hi to the people I know in here and we exit, going threw the kids hallway again. Two little arms wrap around my waist at some point. I put my hand in his back like I always do.
