A Wish

                                    

                                          
My eyelids feel heavy, my mouth tastes sour, my head is pounding and I feel like I've been run over by a freight train. Conclusion: I'm having an epic hangover. However, despite the discomfiture, I feel sated and... hmm, nice. My limbs feel pleasantly heavy and my body feels like Jell-O; I'm warm and there's a heavy weight pressed up against my right side, it feels go-wait, who's this? 
I scramble away from the warm body and fall out of the comfy bed in the process, landing straight on my bum. Wincing, I stand up to see Tony searching for something to his left on the bed in his sleep, frowning and then stilling again. 
My blood runs cold and my body freezes, my brain coming to an abrupt halt as realization springs up like a giraffe in a neon green tutu in the forefront of my mind. 
I had sex with Tony.
I HAD SEX WITH ANTHONY WHITE. 
Anthony White has a girlfriend whom he loves. Anthony White does not love me; he loves his blue-eyed girlfriend Fleur. Anthony White is, er, was a virgin. I have Anthony White's virginity. I have become that woman. Oh God! No!  
Memories of tonight run through my mind– George, Tony being weird, club, tequila, the car ride, the kiss, oh God the kiss! Tony undressing me, Tony all over me, Tony inside me, oh God! What have I done? How could I do this? I realize I'm naked. I've never been uncomfortable with my body, but right now, I feel ugly. Oh Fleur, I'm so sorry! I look around the bedroom, Tony's bedroom, for my clothes. I spot the sheer lace pale blue dress at the foot of the bed. I hurry to cover myself up, I'm cold. So very cold. I've destroyed everything. I've lost my friendship with Tony, and I've destroyed his relationship with his girlfriend, but what I've destroyed the most, is my heart. Oh, to think that I had him but never will it happen again. My eyes prickle and my chest hurts. Literally hurts. It feels like my rib cage is too small to contain the myriad of emotions washing over my heart, tearing it away and leaving it rugged like the chaffed rocks of a cliff at the edge of a violent sea. The water spills, miraculously, not by bursting my lungs open but through my eyes, hot trickles of salty tears running down my cheeks. I stand there looking at Tony; oh beautiful, sweet Tony, will you want to see my face ever again? My hand reaches out to touch his face at its own accord. I stop myself at the last moment. He's not mine to caress in his sleep. He belongs to someone else and I've committed the worst possible crime that I could. I could never apologize enough for this. I'm so sorry, so so so sorry, Fleur. Why would you let this happen, Tony? Why? I take a last long look at his relaxed, serene face. It might be the last time I see him calm, the next time he will probably be looking at me with disgust and a sneer on his lips, the same lips he has kissed me with. I collect my shoes, which I find in front of the couch, and take my purse that was on the center table and rush out of the house, with a dying heart and a wet, tear streaked face. 
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It is supposed to be funny, me sneaking into my own house through my own freaking window. But it is fucking not, not even a little bit. Once I'm inside my room, I don't even change, I just flop onto the bed, bury my face into the pillow and cry my soul out. I feel like a vamp. I had sex with a committed man. I regret it. I had sex with Tony. I want to relive it again. It's such a shitty conflict of feelings. How can I regret touching the man I love? How can I not blame myself for destroying a perfectly happy relationship? I feel like the man who separated my parents and doomed me to a traumatic childhood. So... the regret wins. I'm feeling shameful because I made love with Tony. Oh goodness! I can't even. I don't want to feel anything negative about this wonderful thing that happened. But the consequences, the fucking awful consequences, are making me lament the best thing that has happened to me in... well, ever. A pitiful whimpering sound tears its way out from my throat. I just feel so...  I sit up and look outside at our garden. My conversation with Tony on the night of Britney's wedding flashes in front of my eyes. It was so nice. The walk, the dew drops wetting our bare feet, our first kiss before that. To think I've lost him, even as a friend... hurt courses through my veins, filling up my heart with anguish. No, please no. I'm not just sad, I'm...I'm in agony, bone deep agony. My whole body shakes with the force of my wrecking sobs, it's like I can't breathe, my vision is blurry with tears. I clutch my pillow to my chest. 
Suddenly my bedroom door is slammed open. I frantically rub my face, trying to get rid of the salty wetness from my tears. Vivian and John stand at my door, their faces reflecting their confusion and bewilderment. "Oh God, Fiona!" Vivian's tone is alarmed and distressed. He hurries over to me and pulls me to his chest. I hide my face in his pajama shirt. I really didn't want him to see me like this. "I'll get a glass of water." I hear John say and then his footsteps disappear towards the kitchen. Vivian holds me close and rocks us to and fro, all the while mumbling 'shh', 'it'll be okay' in my ear. I feel John placing his hand on my hair and gently smoothing my hair down. I feel a bit calmer. What would I ever do without my lovely, caring, wonderful and very-loud-while-fucking brothers?
When my eyes finally dry out, I sit up, freeing myself from Viv's embrace. 
"What happened, baby sister? We heard you screaming 'no'." Vivian asks me, his eyes are terrified and round with anxiety. I feel a fresh wave of tears threatening to break through at his concern for me. "Don't call me that. I'm not five. And, shouldn't the two of you be sleeping?" I ask to stop myself from losing it once again. "Don't avoid the question, Fiona! I swear I'll fucking kill the one who made you feel like this." John sounds absolutely furious. Jeez! Overprotective bro mode on. "No one did anything to me John, please calm down." it's me, I did this to me. "I've never seen you cry. Never." he says and this time his voice sounds so sad. Vivian doesn't say anything. John hands me a glass of water and I drink in silence. "What did Anthony do to you?" I almost spit out the water at the question. How the fuck does Viv know? "Tony? Where is he coming in from?" I ask once I have managed not to choke. Vivian eyes me suspiciously. "You left with him." he says. John cracks his knuckles. Oh shit!  "He just gave me a lift to a club and then left. I just... I'm just drunk and then I suddenly remembered daddy and..." I say. Vivian's face softens at once. I feel so bad for bringing up dad. It's a very sore spot. We never talk about it. If we do, there is always a fight and now I'm using it cover up the mess I've made. All of a sudden, I'm angry, so fucking angry. Furious. This is happening because of Tony. He wasn't that drunk. I know he wasn't. Yet, he let this happen. He was the one who brought me out of my shell. I know I wasn't happy, but I wasn't sad either. Then he does this. Why? Why?  I want scream and cry and throw out my arms and kick my legs out like a five year old having a temper tantrum. Why are they not saying anything? Why aren't they distracting me? 
"Do you need me to be here with you tonight?" Viv asks me, his voice is soft, full of empathy. Oh Viv! I'm so sorry for lying to you. "No, no. I'll be fine. You two go back to bed. I was just feeling... maudlin. I'll be okay." I manage a small smile. At least I'm not angry, weepy is so much better than galled. "I can sleep alone tonight. It's okay, you know?" John asks, his hand caressing my hair in brotherly affection once more. I shake my head. "Go. I'm good now." I say and kick them both. John gives me a small smile as they get up from my bed. I smile back. "I love you, baby sister." Vivian whispers after he kisses my forehead. 'Love you too', I mouth. They leave after wishing me good night.
I sit on my bed looking blankly at the wall for a while. Getting up, I move to my window and stare at the starry night sky. I spot a shooting star. Do wishes come true? If they do, I'd really like to know where Tony and I are gonna end up after this. Shaking my head, I make my way towards the shower. I need sleep. I have a big day at work tomorrow. I do hope we finally catch those burglars. Something good has to happen to me, right? 

A/N : Here's another chapter. Hope you enjoyed it! Please vote and let me know what your opinion is, through the comments! Bye!