drifting off to sleep • 7

                                    

                                          
⚠️TW: self harm

                          
''hinata... whats on your arm?!''

                          
-
                          
''my arm?'' hinata asked questionably. ''i don't know what you are talking-'' he stopped himself when he looked down towards where kageyama was looking. his dumb self took his bandages off, not realising the possibility that kageyama would see.
                          
he stared at them for a solid minuet before running upstairs. he rushed, feeling kageyama on his trail. don't get him wrong, kageyama was fast, but hinata was faster. as soon as he reached the bathroom, he shut the door in kageyama's face and locked it.
                          
sliding down the door he heard kageyama, with a strained voice say ''shoyo.. open up... please?'' it broke hinata to hear him like that. he was contemplating something that was risky. he stood up and looked through kageyama's drawers in his bathroom to find something that was able to pierce his skin open.
                          
''shoyo please talk to me'' his voice was cracking ''i'm fine..'' he eventually found a razor and pulled up his sleeve. ''no you're no--'' kageyama's voice was faded out without considering anything, he began slitting his wrists.
                          
blood began oozing out of his wounds while a constant muffled voice was heard in the background telling him to let him in. the pleasure of his skin being torn apart gave him satisfaction. 
                          
though it was giving him pleasure and satisfaction he couldn't help but cry. it didn't take long before his cries became wails of pain. he was opening his scars and with the ones still visible, he was making them wider and longer.
                          
he pushed through the pain as he heard kageyama shouting at him ''SHOYO OPEN UP OR I'M KNOCKING DOWN THIS DOOR MYSELF''
                          
hinata moved himself to the other side, letting kageyama break down the door. he couldn't care less. nothing could help him. not even his partner. not even his crush. he just wanted someone to care for him. but he knew that would never come true.
                          
he was cut out of his thoughts by the door violently swinging open and a concerned kageyama came after it. ''shoyo!'' exclaiming, he ran towards the shaking boy. he took the razor out of his hands before saying ''common, lets get you cleaned up.'' 
                          
he picked hinata up like a koala and walked to his bedroom. he already had gauze in his room so he didn't need to stop for anything. 
                          
setting hinata down on the bed, hinata didn't dare make eye contact with kageyama after the events that had just happened. he thought kageyama thought he was weak. pathetic. worthless. 
                          
he felt his arms being lifted up but still didn't look up. he was embarrassed after all. feeling pressure on his arm he made the mistake to look up from his lap.
                          
his eyes latched onto kageyama's face, he didn't have a angry expression, but rather a soft, loving one. it made his heart melt.
                          
kageyama felt eyes on him so he asked ''why shoyo.. why did you do this?'' he felt tears prickling on his waterline. hinata froze in shock. he saw tears fall and started tearing up himself.
                          
''t-tell me w-why sh-shoyo.. p-please'' kageyama said, voice cracking and stuttering. he hated seeing the person he loved most suffer.
                          
''i-i just think t-that i-im wor-worthless and t-that nobody c-cares a-about me. i t-tried to be useful i-i re-really t-tried, a-and i still f-failed. i re-really am a failure'' he wiped his eyes with his hands.
                          
kageyama just looked at hinata is pure shock. he jumped at hinata, crashing down to the bed. they hugged each other with love. sure they knew the other liked them by the moments prior to the movie but they never said it out loud.