Chapter Sixteen

                                    

                                          
I was beginning to wish that there was some way to make all of this easier, like a guidebook or a manual. How to be a Lesbian: 101. I was ridiculous but I felt as though Courtney was even more ridiculous. Her very existence was beginning to make me want to pull out my hair and outwardly groan. What was her problem with me, exactly? I had even offered to buy her coffee! 
                          
I sighed. In that moment, I remembered something that my grandmother had told me a while ago. She had told me that sometimes no matter how hard you tried, some people really didn't want to be friends with you. I was going to have to learn to accept that as difficult as it may have been. 
                          
In the early hours of the morning, I walked back to the cafe store and found that once again, Lois was working again. Lois seemed like a good person. She was Courtney's ex-girlfriend. I had to wonder where it had all gone wrong between the two of them but I strongly doubted that Lois was the reason behind that breakup. That being said, it didn't exactly have to be someone's fault. It was just that in this instance it was Courtney's. 
                          
Lois' eyes brightened a little, as I walked over to the counter to order a coffee. 
                          
Lois was so cool. She was everything that I had wanted to look like when I was younger. She had a nose ring and dark hair and this perfect smile upon her face. Of course, Emmy had sort of picked dibs on this one and I wasn't about to steal Lois from her. Well, that wouldn't even be on the cards when I knew that the person that I truly had feelings for was- 
                          
That thought was cut short when the bell rang behind me to signal that someone had entered the cafe. 
                          
"Hello!" Emmy said, as she beamed at the both of us. 
                          
"Hey Ems," I replied, with a warm smile. 
                          
"Do you want me to get you a cookie before class?" Emmy asked me, then. 
                          
"That would be great. Thank you, Emmy," I replied. 
                          
Emmy just gave a shrug of her shoulders, as though this was just something that she did on the regular. In all honesty, it really was. Emmy always looked out for me and I would continue to look out for her. If I had learnt anything from my dad walking out on us, then it was to be kind to other people and to always be there for them whenever possible. Life could be tougher but we could be tougher. 
                          
Emmy purchased the two of us some coffees and we walked out to her car because we would have to get to school soon. 
                          
In the car, Emmy turned to me and asked me how I was doing. I began to ask her about the whole Courtney situation because I knew that I couldn't simply keep it to myself anymore. She had been rude and abrasive and I really didn't understand how I was supposed to get through to someone who would continuously push me away. I really didn't want to give up on her but I knew that matters were certainly difficult. 
                          
I secured mine and Emmy's drinks tightly as she drove on to the school. 
                          
We hadn't been there long before Oliver came to join the two of us. 
                          
"Hey, Phoebe," he greeted me. 
                          
"Hi Oliver," Emmy and I said simultaneously. 
                          
Oliver had a thoughtful expression upon his face, as he met my gaze for several moments. 
                          
"I'm going to go and find Ryder. I'll see you two later," she told the both of us, before making her way down the hall. 
                          
While she was gone, Oliver's features scanned my face with a slight inquisitiveness evident in his expression. 
                          
"I need to talk to you about something," he said. 
                          
"What do you need to talk to me about?" I asked him. 
                          
"What's going on with you and Emmy?" he asked me. 
                          
"Nothing's going on with Emmy and I," I told him with feigned nonchalance. 
                          
Oliver narrowed his eyes at me. 
                          
"You can trust me," he said. 
                          
"Okay, okay. We made a deal," I told him. 
                          
After that, I began to tell Oliver all about it. I told him about the deal and how I was trying to find a girl to ask out and how I was trying to ask out a girl who either couldn't stand me or had a funny way of trying to be friends with someone. In the end, I sighed in frustration. 
                          
Oliver's eyebrows creased together slightly. 
                          
"That sounds like quite the predicament," he told me. 
                          
"Doesn't it just? Not to mention that Emmy now has a crush on a barista and I don't even know how to begin to talk to her about any of this," I said. 
                          
After I had told him that, I decided to add to it. 
                          
"Just to clarify: Emmy's crush on said barista has very little to do with how I'm feeling right now," I said. 
                          
Oliver raised an eyebrow at me. 
                          
"I'm not going to assume anything because that wouldn't be fair on you. I don't think you're being fair on yourself, Phoebe. I think that you've got so caught up in wanting to be visible, in wanting to try to make friends with Courtney that you've lost sight of the fact that you're a strong person and capable of anything, alright? You need to keep your head high and go and do some more math work because I need to be fair on you, I know you're trying, but you've got to start studying, dude," he told me. 
                          
"You're right, you're right," I told him. 
                          
He was right about everything, actually. 
                          
I supposed that I really had been so naive that I had ended up losing sight of the things that were truly important and truly mattered to me. I needed to do well in college so that I could go to university and so that became my new priority.