EPILOGUE: carpe vitae

                                    

                                          
implied sexual content (nothing explicit/graphic)
                          
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The sun was at its peak today, the clouds in the sky barely present. A steady breeze danced with the leaves of the sturdy trees that littered that public park that afternoon. 
                          
The picturesque scenery calmed a now twenty year old San as he inhaled a deep breath. The crisp air felt cold and refreshing despite the warmth that the sun radiated, but that was one of the many charms of Summer. San had never been one to notice and observe the seasons, but at that moment he couldn't help but revel and appreciate the nature that surrounded him.
                          
A collared Golden Retriever then pranced up to him with excited pants, its bouncing tan fur burning a vibrant shade of orange under the beaming sunlight. It lovingly wriggled its face into San's palm as it passed him the tennis ball it'd held in it mouth, and its tail excitedly wagged while it waited for San to throw it.
                          
It caught the dark haired male by surprise, but this wasn't his dog. In fact, he'd never owned a pet before. He'd never interacted with one either, unless the excitable beagle Mingi and Yunho had adopted together a year ago counted. 
                          
But nonetheless, San took the ball, the dog's round and expressive eyes igniting a tight feeling in his chest. They reminded all too much of painful memories, ones about a boy who'd travelled away three years ago and never came back.
                          
Crap, San thought, peering down at the smiling, friendly dog before him. He'd came here to think and put himself together, even declining the offer of going out with his cousin because his thoughts as of late had been too jumbled up and heart-wrenching. But now he was back to thinking about him, and all of a sudden the mess of emotions he'd felt after parting with him resurfaced stronger than ever.
                          
San's lower lip trembled as he bit hard on it. No, there was no way he'd tear up right now. He wouldn't allow it. He'd came to this park to cheer himself up with the outside world because he'd been spending far too much time cooped up at his house, but now it seemed as though his attempt at livening up his mood would fail once again. 
                          
Yes, there were moments where San smiled and laughed. Mostly when he'd seen Seonghwa's adorable and charming boyfriend in person for the first time, and whenever Mingi and Yunho invited him over to babysit their childlike puppy from time to time as they embarked on one of their nightly escapades. He also smiled a lot when he watched a show he liked, or listened to good music.
                          
But there had never been a moment in his three years without Jung Wooyoung where he'd truly been happy.
                          
The Golden Retriever casually licked his palm, its hefty paws fisting the intensely green grass rather impatiently. 
                          
"Must've been waiting for some time, huh?" San questioned while forcing on a smile. But before he could finally throw the ball, a woman hurriedly rushed down to where San and the dog were. Her black and white polka dotted dress contrasted wildly with the colourful theme of the park.
                          
"Oh my god!" She exclaimed with wide astonished eyes, her voice rather low for how babyish her features were. Her hair was pitch black and long, falling over her shoulders in healthy waves and complementing her scarlet shaded lips. "Sorry -- Star really likes people. I hope he didn't bother you too much."
                          
San shook his head, before passing over the ball to her. The dog -- Star -- began wriggling his furry tail in a rapid fashion, his royal blue and sparkly collar tinkling once he took notice of his owner. "Nah, it's fine. Your dog, right?"
                          
The female sat next to San on the bench and threw the ball to the distance, Star immediately following after it. 
                          
Although the time of San being insecure of his looks and feeling inadequate had long since passed, especially with the few consultations he'd had with psychologists over the years as well as with his grandfather's help, San was still a bit cautious with this woman around. It wasn't like she posed any threat to him or looked interested in dating him, but even if that were the case, San would've politely declined because he wasn't straight and he just couldn't bring himself to date anyone that wasn't Wooyoung.