Extra Chapter: Part One

                                    

                                          
What's up folks?!
SURPRISE BIIIIIIH! I couldnt stay away from my girls for long, so if you just so happen to see me writing about my girls from time to time, that's why. 
Welcome to the extra chapter 😈
The chapter where we test your level of naughtiness.
Nah I'm just playing. But if you've made it all the way to this part of the story and you are under the age of 18, you in big trouble. Don't forget that this book is marked MATURE for a reason! I've said my warnings. You chose what you do with it.
Now that we've settled that, I've decided to make an extra chapter but I figured it would be too long because my girls got a lot to say sooooooo I split em up! 
Alright alright, enough of my talking. You're here for the extra chapter. I know. I know. 
Don't forget to pop a star for my girls! And share a quote or two if you'd like! 
You may proceed, but don't say I didn't warn ya! Beware! 
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Jess: 
"Where the hell is this hoe at?" I muttered to myself with two screaming two-year-olds in one hand while trying to sweep up a huge mess of flour that just exploded in the kitchen by my little heathens. 
Throughout these past two years, I've learned a lot about kids. One, you're never fully ready to have kids because they switch up on you like night and day. Two, you can never be the perfect parent for kids. As you can see, I'm definitely not one and neither is Jana. 
My kids are bound to destroy an entire neighborhood and the last thing we need is Neighborhood Nancy coming knocking at my damn door about my kids picking at her nasty ass tomato garden again. Demi and Eli are hated by her and her precious white picket fenced family. Her husband don't give us as much shit as her and her twin girls. 
It's every other day she does this, but no one else seems to have a problem with us in this neighborhood. Probably because Granny warned them about me already and all that goes on is just neighborhood talk. She keeps up with the tea around here and they don't say two words about our unique family. Either that or Granny ain't telling me what they really saying. 
Either way, it keeps me at bay and I don't have to beat anybody's ass. Keep that shit to yourselves. I have enough to deal with. No me molestes. 
Anyway, every time my kids scream, holler, or even bawl, here she comes to tell me how to parent my kids. Accusing me of abusing them because they like to sing La Bamba at the top of their damn lungs. Like I'm trying to kill them. If I wanted to do that, I could've done it a long time ago. 
When I'm home, I run a tight ship and it's hard to keep it tight when you have a wife that lets the kids do whatever the hell they want to do. Once again, she acts passive. Like she doesn't realize that Eli is about to drink dish water when he's sitting in a pool of dishes. 
No joke. He really did that and his poor little bottom got cut. What did Jana do? She took him out and walked away while he wailed and threw a big ass tantrum on the floor. I popped him on the leg and told him to not to get in the sink again. You can see who the disciplinarian is around here. She makes my job as a mom twice as hard. 
Now, before you perfect ass moms come at me about me disciplining my child. There's a difference between beating your child and spanking them. I save the beating for adults who try me. Don't get it twisted.